DRACULA: Dead and Loathing It

Episode 101 “The Blood is the Life”

[photos: Jonathon Hession/NBC]

So, the new incarnation of Dracula has finally premiered and there’s a lot of ground to cover. So let’s get to it. The premiere begins with a man spelunking down into a cave with a flashlight and he has a partner with him. They look at a skeleton in a coffin and the partner finds some gold. The other guy slashes his throat and spills his blood into the coffin breathing life back into the body within. Thus, Dracula is reborn.

Actually, now he’s Alexander Grayson. No relation to Conrad or Daniel, Revenge viewers. And hot as hell. Thank you, Jonathan Rhys Meyers for making two ugly historical figures into beefcakes. Very good, sir.

The year is 1896 in London. Queue obligatory ballroom scene. We’re introduced to Jonathan, Lucy (who will henceforth be known as Blonde Keira Knightley) and Mina. Jonathan scoffs at the luxury of the ball. He and Mina talk and we see how insecure he is. He asks if she would rather be with a toad than him. Cheer up, dude. You’re hot. Grayson is announced by Renfield (yay, Renfield!) and it’s love at first sight between him and Mina. Seems they’ve met in a past life much like Stefan and Elena from The Vampire Diaries. There’s also a very Great Gatsby vibe to the affair at the ball. Grayson asks to know everything about Mina and her crew from Renfield. By the way, Renfield is black. Who cares. Moving on. We join Lady Jayne and Grayson as they meet. He wonders about her husband whom he assumes is her date. She states that the man with her is her companion Herr Kruger.

Grayson then approaches Jonathan and as Mina joins them, he introduces himself. Jonathan introduces Mina to Grayson and Mina recognizes him from somewhere just as he does her. At some point, we meet Sir Clive Dawes who is a rich businessman none too pleased with Grayson swooping in with new ideas.

Renfield comes back with all the information Dracula asked for. That guy is quick! Jonathan Harker is an ambitious and tenacious reporter for The Inquisitor and Mina Murray is a med student and also the daughter of Dr. William Murray, director of Bethlehem Memorial Hospital.

Then, Renfield goes to Harker and invites him to interview Grayson. Afterwards, Renfield presents Grayson’s “technical marvel”! Grayson name checks Thomas Edison and Nikola Tesla. He’s created a way to safely harness wireless power. This greatly upsets Sir Clive and Laurent who was also introduced before. They worry about the impact on their petroleum interests. But they quickly decide it’s not something to concern themselves with at the moment. Everyone is given light bulbs without wires that suddenly illuminate the ballroom. Everyone is astounded by Grayson. There’s a problem with the device in the back and all the lights go out. Grayson addresses the crowd, saying how illuminating the demonstration was.

Blonde Keira Knightley meets Grayson and he calls her ravishing. Mina asks him about the invention and he states that it is the “beginning of a new era.” Jonathan realizes how interested in Mina Grayson is and BKK agrees. Could Jonathan be any more pathetic? In the courtyard, Lady Jayne presents herself to Grayson. She slinks up to him, commending him on his invention. She calls his performance “operatic.” Then she invites him to an opening. She might as well spread her legs with the amount of seduction she purrs in every word. There’s a lot of great interplay between them that just screams WE ARE GONNA HAVE SEX.

Sir Clive has Grayson’s number. He calls him a fraud and threatens his business. That doesn’t sit too well with Dracula. Jonathan’s friend Szabo tells him to put a ring on it with Mina right in front of her and Blonde Keira Knightley is saucy as hell and points out the sexy looks Grayson has been giving Mina. Jonathan thinks she can do better though. Not a lot of confidence in that man. Suddenly, the girls hear something outside and go to the window.

Back to Sir Clive as he’s disposed of swiftly by Dracula. Woohoo! This is getting good. Renfield doesn’t agree with Grayson’s tactics one bit but they move on to discuss The Order of the Dragon. There’s heresy, burning, screaming. Politics, oil. It’s involved. They’re evil. Moving on. Kruger picks the lock at a door and proceeds to a coffin. He picks that lock and turns out its Sir Clive’s body. He cuts off his head! Whoa. This is getting interesting. He puts it in a box and transfers the box to a lady in a red dress who brings it to a table. There’s a great shot of the head when the box is opened. It’s creepy as hell. A man addresses the lady in red who just so happens to be Lady Jayne. He goes on about vampires, referencing Jack the Ripper. He and Lady Jayne are helping to cover up the vampire activity in the city and have been for a while. He tells her to tell people that Davenport was killed by a dog. Back to Mina Murray who is being taught by Van Helsing. (Yup, he’s here too and has a pretty big role. More on that later.) He is interrupted in his lecture by students murmuring. Mina tells him that her friend Campbell was discussing the article with Grayson in The Inquisitor with his classmates.

Grayson talks to Harker about his love of Europe. He explains how he comes from an old family and looks to the future for new things. Harker says that he is full of contradictions, to which Grayson replies that the world is as well. Harker marks on his pad “visionary.” Then, Grayson says that man evolves and that he is there to facilitate in that evolution. Harker marks again “delusional, egomaniac.” Helsing talks to Mina about her progress. He explains that she needs to have more confidence in her surgical abilities. She should use her heart.

Dracula stalks some women outside, looking for a bite to eat. He finds a lady and sucks on her neck which can be quite orgasmic from the moans she makes. Mina and Jonathan are at the ballroom, readying for the opera. They talk about Grayson as they ascend the stairs into the theatre. Lady Jayne also goes up to the balcony as the opera begins. Grayson appears behind her as Jonathan and Mina are happy in the balcony. Lady Jayne joins Dracula at his behest and another fun flirtation begins between them. She didn’t think he knew what discrete meant in the invitation since he’s American. He replies that he had to look it up. She asks what other words he had to look up. He goes into full seduction mode, pleasuring her down below whilst saying words like “insatiable”, “incorrigible”, and lastly “unquenchable.” He continues to kiss her, while looking over at Mina. Lady Jayne is loving it. And so am I. This show! Whew. I need a cold shower.

Back to Lord Laurent complaining about Dracula in a carriage. Dracula watches him from a roof nearby and Kruger descends upon him with arrows. But he’s no match for Dracula. They fight, swords drawn and Kruger brings out his cross. No worries. Dracula still defeats him with a slash of his sword. Kruger bleeds out while Dracula says he’ll “be joined in hell by scores of his brethren.” But it sounds a lot sexier when he says it. He states that he’s taking down the Order and “everything it stands for.” Kruger’s last words claim Grayson is Dracula. He’s right. But he’s dead. So it doesn’t matter. His blood spills even more.

We now join Lady Jayne in training for a big fight. She slashes with her sword and is interrupted by a weird little slave in a cage. Lady Jayne taunts her and the slave threatens more of her kind will follow. Back to Dracula who is met with Van Helsing. The battle we were waiting for. The twist: they’re partners! This is getting even more interesting. Helsing upsets Dracula and he asks him why he shouldn’t kill him. Turns out it was Van Helsing that resurrected Dracula as Grayson. They both hate the Order of the Dragon. They have a plan and they’re following through with it. Van Helsing lost his family to them. Dracula had his wife taken by them and wants…wait for it…Revenge!

It looks like Mina remembers her former life too. She wakes up, gasping. And there it is. The new Dracula. And it’s gonna be interesting!

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