Television & Film

Mr. Smith Can Smell It: WAYWARD PINES Episode 2


Episode 2 “Do Not Discuss Your Life Before”


Ahhhh. Breathe the fresh mountain air. Take it all in, right down to your toes. Smell the pines, both the wayward ones and the non wayward. The fresh water streams smell crisp in the morning fog. The wet pavement of the town is like a baseline that ties a massive orchestra together, a foundation for a symphony of air.

You know what you can’t smell though? You can’t smell the crazy. This town, this show (only in its second episode, mind you), is a very, very special kind of crazy. Maybe you have an aunt that collects her nose hair. That’s a special kind of crazy, but this town goes much, much deeper than that. Perhaps your aunt that collects nose hair doesn’t collect her own. Perhaps she conks strangers on the head and takes theirs, keeping each sample in little vials that are named after the characters on the TV show, Lost. That’s getting a little closer, but I have a feeling if we found the secret door behind your aunt’s Dharma Cabinet, we might get a little bit closer to the kind of crazy you wish you never knew existed. But clearly that’s where we’re headed.

There are some theories so far. Now these are my theories. That’s why they make shows like this, so you can come read about my theories. First though, the recap, and since you’ve probably seen the episode, I’ll keep it brief.


Agent Burke gets pulled back into town and gets a slap on the wrist and a warning from the sheriff, who tells him to stay in his hotel. Burke decides to continue his investigation, and here’s what we learn…

Burk: "SQUIRREL!!!"
Burk: “SQUIRREL!!!”
  • There are rules. Really weird rules.
  • His partner was trying to escape and failed.
  • The bartender lady was trying to escape too, but wasn’t caught.
  • The surveillance in Wayward Pines is EVERYWHERE.
  • Burke may be hallucinating because of a brain injury.
  • The sheriff hates that he didn’t stay in his hotel room.
Sheriff Pope. Grrrrrr.
Sheriff Pope. Grrrrrr.
  • All the money is counterfeit.
  • After deciding to use his dead partner’s plan to run, bartender lady freaks out at dinner and gets herself caught.
Bartender Lady's about to lose it.
Bartender Lady’s about to lose it.
  • The sheriff cuts her throat while the town watches, just like he did to Burke’s partner. That’s right. That’s how they handle that sort of disobedience.
"Hey. That's muh girlfr-aaaand she's dead."
“Hey. That’s muh girlfr-aaaand she’s dead.”
  • And who rats them out? His other old partner does. That’s who.
Why? Why are you holding the phone like that?
Why? Why are you holding the phone like that?
  • Oh. And Burke’s family is still looking for him, thinking he shacked up with the lady he used to bang (yawn), but they will find out later that she’s soooooo over it. They won’t care anyway because they are on their way to get captured by the town. They don’t know it yet though.

That about covers it, and that will have to do.

Now. Theories.

  1. Episode ten will have a Newhart ending. You know, where it was all a dream (also called the Dallas ending).

  2. They are in Purgatory. Eff you, Lost.

  3. Burke’s head trauma is causing a MASSIVE AND UNBELIEVABLE HALLUCINATION. I’m going with ‘nope’ on this one. That would be just dumb. But hey, it’s a misdirection mentioned in the show that I’m sure M.Night would like to see mentioned in an article like this.

  4. The Secret Service is behind all of it, i.e. the counterfeit money. That’s what they do. Secret stuff. A little on the nose though, don’t you think?

  5. The rabbit hole with this show is only going to get curiouser and curiouser. That’s the only thing that I know is true.

I’m going to try to be patient with this show. I get that it’s supposed to be filled with questions that may or may not be answered, but I’m going to have to be very patient, and so will you. A lot of shows can run for years and never really tell you what happened and still be considered classics. Good examples are Lost — of course — The X-Files, and the animated Dungeons and Dragons cartoon from the 80’s (which didn’t last its first season, leaving me with many, many questions).

This show, though, has ten episodes. It’s finite. We know it has an ending, and we’ll be there in eight more weeks. I’ll hold on if you will.

Mr. Smith


Curtis Smith

Curtis Smith, a native of Curtistan, is an actor, whip maker, and musician.

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