BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: L’amour c’est tout bête

Episode 401: “Monsieur et Madame Bete”
Written by Brad Kern
Directed by Stuart Gillard

[photos: Ben Mark Holzberg/CW]

Hello, Beasties! We’re back again reviewing Beauty & The Beast after a fairly long winter and spring nap. Hope you guys had a wonderful school year (for those of you in school or with kids in school) and are ready to fire up the grill, sip on iced tea (or mojitos, no judgment), and mull over some beast action with your pals here at SciFi4Me.

Let’s face it. You guys don’t need no stinking recaps. Ya’ll are watching these episodes and committing them to memory, week in and week out; that’s how strong the fan base is with this show. So let’s do like we did most of last year, and simply itemize the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The good:

• We get a good look at Cat’s ring in the opening scene in the honeymoon suite, and boy howdy, it is stunning. But I remember something simpler from the wedding ceremony from the season 3 finale. You guys are smarter than I am. What do you recall?
• Said honeymoon suite in Paris was totally beautiful, but do you guys have any idea how crazy expensive that would be? I went to Paris with my mom, and the room we got was a shoebox. I’m guessing Dr. Keller must be pulling down some thick bank these days. In any case, I spent a lot of time cruising honeymoon packages in Paris “for research”. Highly recommended mindless internet entertainment.
• Cat’s hair cut is so cute, way cuter than last season. Last season she had this marmish vibe, but this season is more young and modern.
• Tess and JT are moving in together. I’ll miss the cool, swanky former bank turned bachelor pad, but nice to see these two move forward together.
• Cat actually speaks pretty passable French! I took French in high school and college, and I have enough experience to say, yeah, she didn’t do too bad. Way to go, KK!
• When Heather suggests breaking and entering the blogger’s apartment, and JT responds with a judgey look, Heather blithely replies, “We’ve done so much worse.” Her delivery was hilarious and what sold that scene.
• Heather’s new side dish Kyle/Karl. Not the strongest of actors, but pretty yummy if you dig blondes.
• You guys ever see the Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day? At one point in that movie, Phil (Bill) introduces another character Nancy, describing her as someone who makes noises like a chipmunk when she gets excited. Well, that line was what came to mind when Cat and Vincent burst into their apartment bedroom to rescue Heather from Kyle/Karl. Props again to Nicole Gale Anderson. Nicole may very well be the most underestimated actress in the biz.
• Cat encourages Heather to find a new place to live, until “this all blows over”. Heather retorts, “Really, when will that be, 50 years?” Yeah, she has a point.
• Vincent suggests tongue-in-cheek that they consider divorce, and instead of getting all butt hurt, Cat says, “I get the espresso maker,” Vincent responds back, “I get the juicer.” Glad to see these characters have a light moment together when always everything around them is doom and gloom.
• After worrying most of the episode about all the bad things that might be waiting for them post-honeymoon, Cat merrily jests to Vincent, “Just grab whoever grabs me before he skins me alive,” and “Don’t forget to save me!” Another light moment in an otherwise somewhat heavy episode.
• When Cat ventures out in public to entice the hunter, she’s wearing a cute navy blazer paired with a coral top and boot cut jeans. Pinning to my Pinterest page!
• JT tells Tess, “I want to find that being part of something bigger, and I need you to support that.” Thank goodness Tess agrees. Because it’s really not that unreasonable, you know, setting aside the probability of being killed.
• Cat muses that a $5M bounty on Vincent is worrisome because it’s such a large amount of money. Vincent says in response: “I think I’m worth more than that.” Yes, Vincent, you are. You really, really are.
• Oh my gosh, that rooftop meal! Bordeaux, vichysoisse, endive salad and aubergines provencales…I think I know what our Sunday night meal al fresco is going to be!

The bad/ugly:

• IMHO, the writers on this show have gotten a little too formulaic in their plots and dialogue. All the characters take turns worrying out loud, reassuring each other, keeping secrets from each other, regretting keeping secrets, and then there are the ever-present threats of exposure and death. I’d just like a little more variety.
• That smarmy, know-it-all college kid that called JT out in class during thesis topic discussions. I’m all for discussion, but not a fan of disrespect.
• Speaking of disrespect, Tess seemed embarrassed in front of her direct reports when JT showed up at the precinct. Sorry, but if you’re embarrassed when your significant other surprises you at work, then you’re not with the right one.
• JT’s leap from “the blogosphere is talking about beasts” to “Vincent is in imminent danger” seemed stretched to me. Yes, he turned out to be right, but I thought the writers did a poor job of making that whole train of thought believable.
• I thought Vincent was acting like a ugly American jackass on the bicycle in France, what with all his hooting and hollering and throwing food at Cat. Normally Jay Ryan is very good at making Vincent’s character charming, but this scene just didn’t work for me.
• Vincent saves the day, pulling a bloody couple out of a crashed and fiery wrecked car. And yet afterwards, Vincent’s lovely light blue linen shirt was neither rumpled nor dirty, nor had Vincent broken a sweat from the exertion or heat.
• Where was all the snappy funny Tess dialogue that is normally the best part of this show?
• The piano track in this episode gave it more soap opera feel than normal. Not digging it.
• So let me see if I have this right: Vincent is able to track the killer of the week from the blogger’s apartment to the DHS, but once the killer nabs Cat, Vincent forgets how to track? Yes, Vincent does say it’s been a while, but he just did some tracking earlier in the episode. Pretty big hole there, if you ask me.
• Heather tells Cat that she doesn’t need her sisterly judgment, because she’s a grown woman. Um, yeah…a grown woman without a job, living in her sister’s apartment, who just got busted doing the nasty in her sister’s bed. I don’t think a little sisterly judgment is out of place here.
• So the killer is out skulking on the street in a hoodie and dark glasses. He looks very menacing, and that doesn’t attract attention at all? I mean, yes, it’s NYC. I’m still skeptical. What do our NYC Beasties think?
• Cat manages to go from being strewn up to a wooden beam, to swinging herself all the way onto top of the beam? Yeah, KK has great martial arts skills. More skepticism on this one.
• Parting words of the episode, i.e., “For better for worse, Monsieur et Madame Bete”. Uber-cheese.

All in all, while I’m glad to revisit the characters in this little series, I didn’t think it was the strongest episode I’ve seen. I’d probably give it a C+. What do you guys think? Am I being too hard on them? Expecting too much? Generally speaking, I’ve felt all along that the plot writing is the weakest part of this show. Snappy dialogue is usually on point, the principals do a pretty good job of making their characters genuine, and wardrobe and sets usually look alright. Even the special effects have improved considerably since season 1. I just want things to tie together a little tighter in terms of plot. Stick with me over the rest of this final season, and I’ll tell you what I think…good, bad, pretty or beastly. See you next week.

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