DUSTIN: Holy crap. Is the review for last week’s Walking Dead not out yet?
TIMOTHY: Working on it.
DUSTIN: You know the season finale airs in a few hours, right?
TIMOTHY: Working. On. It.
DUSTIN: Just because you were really busy this week with paid writing gigs and internet issues is no excuse, you know that right?
TIMOTHY: There. Finished.
DUSTIN: ‘Bout time.
TIMOTHY: Shut up. Yes folks, seriously behind this week. But here’s our review, which has been living on my computer 90% finished for 5 days, mocking me, much like Mr. Adair…
DUSTIN: I’m helping!
TIMOTHY: … is that what we’re calling it? Anyway. Before you watch tonight’s season finale of AMC’s The Walking Dead, here’s a refresher course in last week’s episode for you. Yeah. A refresher.
DUSTIN: I can’t wait to see what Regina is wearing this week.
Season 4, Episode 15 “Us”
TIMOTHY: Are you ready?
I… I don’t… know…
Come on, there’s only two episodes left.
I know, and it’s been so good recently, I’m afraid.
That this is where it will all go wrong?
That’s a valid fear. We’ve seen it happen before, and its been really good this season.
I want it to keep being good.
Yeah, me too. Well, on to it. Wait. I just realized. You haven’t said a thing about Once Upon A Time today.
It was so stupid and awful and horrible that I just can’t bring myself to say anything about it tonight.
Huh. And I thought surely you’d have said something about how they are doing the whole Cowardly Lion thing with Charming and clearly setting Emma up to be Dorothy.
I… don’t think I like that you know what’s happening on that show. It seems… wrong somehow.
You and me both buddy. Anyway! Ladies and gentlemen! Hello, I am Timothy Harvey and this is Dustin Adair and those two awesome people would be Anne-Marie and Curtis, our live-Tweeting contingent for our review of this week’s episode of AMC’s The Walking Dead. As always, there will be SPOILERS and questionable commentary which, if we’re honest, you come here for anyway, don’t you? Yeah, we know that’s why you come here. And we shall not disappoint.
The floor, sir, is yours.
Shut up, Eugene.
I fear for Tara.
Hmm. OK. Interesting.
You will see. Recap!
Eugene is the worst, Tara is SO over him.
In the night times, Abe and Tara keep watch. Abe tells Tara something. It’s not important. Abe insists Tara sleep because she doesn’t do that thing much. He says he used to think Tara loved Glenn, but then he saw her scope Rosita’s magic ta-tas and he figured out the whole truth of life.
He’s okay with it. Thanks for saying lesbians are okay, Abe.
This is a wonderful example of someone saying this in just about the awkwardest way possible. Abe is… such a dork underneath that military exterior and the mustache.
This episode is going to focus a lot on Tara, so my fear for her is upped 1000%.
Considering how they’ve been doing that to us the last few episodes with our characters, AND she’s not one of the main Team Zombie gang, she would be kinda expendable, especially since she’s likeable.
Tara asks Abe: What you do when the mission is over? Abe doesn’t really answer.
And I think that’s the real explanation as to why Abe is buying Eugene’s nonsense. He really doesn’t have any idea what to do when the mission is over.
Meanwhile: SHUT UP EUGENE!!
And then! We find!! A letter from Maggie written in gore and we’re so happy to see it. Glenn is so excited he takes off a’running. Glenn, ain’t you know Terminus is still a long way away?
He is going to wear himself out before he gets there. But hey, we’d run too.
Meanwhile, in the jerks’ camp. Some jerk is sleeping. But here come a walker! It runs up on some barb wire fencing and it’s super gross.
It’s pretty cool and yeah, pretty gross. Mostly it’s pretty cool.
A jerk wakes up and kills the walker dead. Another jerk notices that Daryl is gone, but they are classy and decide since Daryl left his stuff, he might just be off taking a poop.
Meanwhile again, Rick and Michonne and Carl are continuing to be adorable. They are walking on the train tracks like it’s a tight rope.
Aww. They’re all friends.
Nice to see everyone relaxed for a change. It looks good on them. Even Rick.
Rick is all like: Hey guys! Let’s try and take the Zombie Apocalypse a little more seriously. And if we can’t, how about you let me play the weird little game too.
Nobody like to feel left out. But sorry Rick, only two rails.
So Michonne loses the bet on purpose so they won’t have to let Rick play. But in losing, Michonne has to give up her favorite chocolate to Carl. But then he shares it with her because he’s classy all of a sudden! I’m in love with love, you guys.
Although, smiley-happy-Michonne makes me worried the way the Daryl and Tara foreshadowing makes me worried. The writers are not kind to happy people on this show either.
Daryl is out in the woodlands huntin’ wabbits.
Be werrry, weerrrrry quiet…
But some jerk comes up and tries to steal it from him. @#$%ing jerks. I’m already tired of them. This guy does not know who he is messing with. Daryl tries to be the bigger man and walk away, but the jerk won’t let him.
Is this guy suicidal? OK, sure, he doesn’t know anything about Daryl, but on the other hand he doesn’t know anything about Daryl. He’s pushing him and he has no idea how he’s going to react, and that really isn’t a great survival plan.
All of a sudden, the jerk is all talking about how Daryl must be sad because he lost some sort of lady, and even though it’s true, it’s bad form. Daryl wants to stab him, but then Joe shows up and continues to be the very worst. Why is this happening?
Way to push the wrong button, buddy. I’m thinking that you’ll be the first one Daryl kills when it comes time to reduce the percentage of horrible extras.
So the deal is this: The jerks live by rules. One of the main rules is the idea of ‘claiming’ where in which all one of the jerks has to say is “claimed” and the thing then belongs to him. Well, it’s some kind of rule for a society to run by I guess…
Yeah, it’s a code of sorts and it sort of explains the whole stupid bed thing from before, but I can see all kinds of horrible things coming of this…
Glenn is all a man with a mission. The gang wants to stop and rest. There is a little fight because Glenn, man on a mission he is, wants to keep going. Just as they have convinced Glenn to wait, a walker walks off a high ridge and lands with a thud at everyone’s feet.
Eugene pushes Tara out of the way, but she trips and falls on the railroad tracks and hurts her knee. No wonder she never became a cop. She’s clumsy as @#$%.
When zombies are falling from the sky, it is, perhaps, best to move on.
After this, they decide its best to keep going until dark.
When you can’t see the zombies falling from the sky until it’s too late? Zombies from the sky people! From the sky!
Daryl asks Joe what the guys are doing and where they are headed. Daryl does NOT like these guys, but they are efficient in the killing of the walkers, so I guess that’s something.
Joe tells Daryl the jerks have a series of rules aside from the ‘claimed’ one. Apparently they don’t like lying and stealing either. Both of which will garner a beating. It’s actually kind of cool, but we know these guys are the worst, so it’s all kind of moo (like a cow’s opinion).
Yeah… still can’t stand any of them.
The jerks decide to stop in a warehouse for the night. Daryl tries to say he’s not part of the group and Joe is all: “Hey, I love cats. Have you ever seen ‘LOLcatz’? They’re the best, gee I miss the internet.” Or something very similar.
As a cat person, I want to object to Joe’s cat analogy on principle. Of course, as a cat person, I kinda can’t. And that’s annoying.
Meanwhile: @#$%ing Eugene is wearing Glenn’s body armor. They chance upon a tunnel where Maggie has scrawled one of her messages. The message on the outside of the tunnel is still wet, which means, of course that they are very close.
Like really close.
Abe points out that there are walkers in the tunnel, as they can clearly be heard moaning out of the darkness. Abe says something that makes me laugh, but now I can’t remember what it was. Tara decides to go with Glenn through the tunnel, but Abe, Rosita and big dumb Eugene decide not to. They head off to the road.
Eugene tries to confess his true love for Tara, but she informs him, she is in fact a lesbian. And he is all “Er, Dur, I know.’
He so didn’t know. But it’s the first time Eugene has made me smile.
In they go.
Glenn tells Tara that he knows how she feels since when all the @#$% first went down, he knew all his friends and family were dead. Tara is all remorse. She is pretty damn sad about Hershel. She tells him that when The Governor told her group that they might have to kill people to take the prison. She tells him she was the first one to volunteer, but everything changed when The Governor took that sword to Hershel’s neck. That was when she realized The Governor was crazy, but it was too late.
Somehow this seems like a discussion they already should have had, doesn’t it? And it really isn’t the best time to be making the talking noises, is it? Yes, the walkers all are responding to new stimuli this season, but the noise thing still seems to be in play, so shhhhh. Have the emotions later.
In the warehouse, the jerks find a bunch of cars. The jerks are jerks to Daryl. He has to sleep on the floor.
Oh look! It’s The Walking Dead version of Musical Chairs! And that’s what’s been bugging me about these guys: All their rules are little kid rules. You know, the claiming, the lying and stealing equals a beating… these are all rules that a kid would come up with. Sure they apply to the grownup world, but still. These are the Lord of the Flies kids all growed up.
In the tunnel, Glenn and Tara come across a cave in. There are walkers all trapped in the debris. Slowly, with Glenn checking each walker to make sure they aren’t Maggie, they make it to the top of the rubble and look down at the tracks on the other side. There are about ten walkers down there.
Yeah. why isn’t Tara prepared here? Does she have death wish? After that conversation… nah. Too easy.
So Glenn is gonna stab the @#$% out of some walkers. Tara tries to convince him not to, but he will not be dissuaded.
Out on the road, Abe and the gang are looking for a running car so they can continue on their fool’s errand. Abe stabs a damn soccer mom walker while Eugene continues to be the worst.
HOW DO THEY BELIEVE EUGENE KNOWS HOW TO STOP THE WALKERS??
It’s that mission thing. Abe needs one, and that is making him blind to how ridiculous the situation is. Rosita… hmmm. Don’t really know enough about her yet. But she has put on pants, so that’s something. Bigger question though? How the hell is Abe starting a car that has been sitting idle for a year? You know car batteries don’t work like that, right?
I guess logic eludes us all for different reasons, Tim.
In the tunnel. Walkers. Glenn and Tara use a walker and the flash light to cause a distraction. When the walkers are distracted, Glenn and Tara climb down the rubble.
Suddenly!! Tara gets stuck!!
Ah. So Tara’s falling down earlier was foreshadowing. Or something. You know, I like Tara, but she’s kinda useless. And now she’s zombie bait.
Meanwhile, in the van. Eugene continues to be the worst thing ever. He has them lost. Or actually, he has them back on the rail road tracks. I guess Eugene likes his chances with Tara’s vagina and wants to stop and look for it.
Eugene is still the worst, but c’mon, he did bring Abe and Rosita back to try and make sure Glenn and Tara are OK. He does get some small credit for that. And he did it right under their noses, so there is some glimmer of actual intelligence there.
Meanwhile on the jerk train with the jerks. That one jerk wants everyone to think Daryl stole his half of the bunny from earlier. Daryl is all like: I didn’t do it! But the jerk wants to start a fight. The jerks are jerks and then Joe tries to make some sort of jerk peace. Then they beat up that jerk. And then there is jerk justice.
I just don’t know…
Schoolyard justice. I’m telling you.
Back in the tunnel, Tara is still trapped. She tells him to leave her and go find Maggie, but Glenn is too good a dude to do that. He tries to get her out, and the walker begin to notice that there is an actual fresh meat meal over on the other side of the rubble and begin to advance.
Oh, hey! The zombies are still there. You know, Tara’s leg really is a problem. And there is a precedent…
Glenn turns to fight the walkers. Just as they attack, the van arrives and six ((SIX)) people jump out and begin to shoot the walkers!! Maggie, Shovel and The Medic are there!! They make short work of the walkers.
Glenn and Maggie kiss as Tara looks on. I cannot WAIT for the introductions.
Happy reunions on this show make me nervous, but it is really good to see them reunited. But yeah, not the brightest plan going through the tunnel, not on anyone’s part.
The group decides to make camp in the tunnel for the night. Glenn introduces Maggie to Tara. He says he met her one the road and Maggie hugs Tara. I can’t help but think that Glenn just made that 100% worse.
Secrets aren’t kept for @#$% on this show, no. It’s going to be a very awkward conversation later.
So then The Medic and Shovel are drinking the Eugene cool aide. Tara volunteers to go with them on to Washington, and so does Shovel, but only if they can go to Terminus first and see what is there. Glenn and Maggie canoodle. It’s sweet. He shows her all the things he stole from the prison.
She wants to burn a photo of herself. It’s sweet. They burn it.
And that makes me nervous. Symbolism is a dangerous thing.
Meanwhile the jerks are still being jerks. Apparently Daryl slept through the other jerks murdering that one jerk.
RUN DARYL RUN!!
Joe offers Daryl moonshine. I just… oh God, Joe likes the end of the world. They are headed to Terminus, too.
Not a good sign that Daryl slept through it, and it rings wrong to me that he did. He shouldn’t be relaxed around these guys enough to do that, should he?
Joe says Terminus is a lie, and the only reason they are going there is because they are after a guy who murdered one of the jerks in a house, what no one knows it that guy is Rick!
Speaking of awkward conversations…
Daryl claims a thing.
Don’t try and fit in too much Daryl. OK?
Glenn and the gang finally arrive at Terminus!! The doors are open but there is a garden. Maggie is wearing Daryl’s poncho! It’s always nice to see a old character return.
The doors are open? Hmmm. Anybody else thinking trap?
Through another gate… there are all sorts of vegetables and stuff.
Yeah, this is very much feeling like a trap.
There is a person string a stew of some sort. HEY!! It’s Tasha Yar in a terrible wig! WELCOME TO TERMINUS, E’RBODY!!
Yep. It’s a trap.
So there you have it folks! Most of Team Zombie reunited, the others, minus Beth, closing fast, all headed to what is surely Cannibal Central, and only one episode left to go this season! Whew! So what do you think?
I think it may be a trap. But the cannibal thing… is that too obvious? There are cannibal’s in the comic, so maybe.
Think we’re going to lose one of our main cast in the finale? It’s the kind of thing that happens on this show.
Tara or the Medic. We’ve been getting backstory and sympathetic portrayals, and they aren’t original Team Zombie, so.
Yeah. Tara dying saving Maggie, and a confession. Could see that. Going to be interesting, whatever it is. Strong, strong second half of this season, so if they can keep that for the finale…
It’s been really good. Do you have a lesson for this one?
I do. After we look at your… well, sort of predictions.
They hold up, I’m telling you. No weaseling me out of it this week.
Uh huh. So… Glenn?
Reunited with Maggie.
Ah… OK. Daryl?
Drawn deeper into the Jerk Patrol, trying to remain true to himself.
Huh. OK. Terminus?
They got there, didn’t they?
Yessss… Shut up, Eugene?
I would thing that one is obvious.
Can’t really argue, and Tara is making it easy to fear for her, especially since she has the Leg of Doom. OK. So you got them all this week. Even if they are little vagu-
Told you. Lesson?
Sure. You ready?
Lay it on me.
If it looks like a trap…