THE VAMPIRE DIARIES Lets Go With Some Revelations
Episode 702 “Never Let Me Go”
[photos: Annette Brown/The CW]
Each episode of this Nina Dobrev-less season seven has been introduced with a flash forward to three years in the future. Last week we saw Stefan and Damon’s future dilemma; it was Caroline’s turn this episode.
Caroline looks to be directing and probably producing a morning talk show, which is hilarious and perfect. She’s bossing around her subordinate when he tells her that her fiancée called and she is to go back to Mystic Falls. Caroline declares, “But he knows we can never go back there!”
In present day, Caroline has been kidnapped by Lilly and the Heretics (band name?). Damon lets Stefan know that it was he who killed the heretic Malcolm by snatching his heart out. Ian Somerhalder’s portrayal of Damon is so filled with Anne Rice’s Vampire Lestat goodness, the Goth girl in me just revels in his sarcastic, anti-hero, brat prince glory. Damon has to try to make amends…or something, so he goes to the Salvatore mansion to tell his mom Lilly that he killed the vampire-warlock dude. She doesn’t care what he has to say, because they have Caroline now.
Enzo is tying Caroline up, but she pouts her lips and Enzo unties her. Classic Enzo. She ends up upstairs at the mercy of our two female heretic lovebirds, who are bickering over what one of them should wear to Malcolm’s funeral. One of them comes out in a Victorian get up and Caroline snickers. Classic Caroline. So, of course they poke her with stuff and it hurts.
Damon discovered that he and Stefan no longer are the owners of the Salvatore home and cannot enter. So who owns the house? See, at the beginning of the episode we are treated to a little first person, Paranormal Activity-esque scene. The word has spread that Mystic Falls is now a ghost town, so that means plenty of college kids with blogs are going to go scope it out, only to be swiftly eaten by well-coiffed vampire witches. Matt is our lone gunman. He tries to save the kids, but apparently he was just knocked out and compelled to sign some papers and voila, he owns Salvatore Manor.
Bonnie steps in and is all “this is my fault, I wanted Malcolm dead…Matt can I stop your heart with magic”. Poor Matt, this guy never catches a break, he has zero self-esteem or he would have left these fools long ago. If Matt is dead even for a second the spell on the deed dies, too, and the house is free range, no invite needed. Of course the spell doesn’t go smoothly. This is Bonnie Bennett after all.
Meanwhile, Alaric. Need I say more? He has this rock and a dead wife in a morgue, but he is still teaching macabre classes at the local college, which he uses to warn the students to stay out of Mystic Falls. That rock he has is called the Phoenix Stone; he finally shows it to Bonnie. She touches the Phoenix Stone and gets all these creepy images in her mind of torture and wounds, one in particular, that x-shaped wound we saw on Stefan in the future. Alaric does NOT take Bonnie’s advice to destroy the stone. Instead, he takes it straight to the morgue and tests it on a dead guy. Classic Alaric. He places the stone right on the corpse and the dead guy takes a nice gasping breath, right before Alaric picks that stone up and puts it right back in his pocket. Guess it works…but at what cost Alaric!?
Lilly and the Heretics are still thoroughly pissed about what happened to one of their own, so they take Elena’s body and put it somewhere. Stefan and Damon figure she is treating them like she did when they were children. Mommy dearest used to have the boys pull a switch off the tree and dad would whip them bloody, she’d also take away all their toys and make sure the siblings were angry at each other and good and miserable. Stefan and Damon have clearly played this game before, so they’re not backing down from their raging B of a mum.
Three years in the future Caroline is catching up with her subordinate who tells her that not only did her fiancée call, but so did Stefan Salvatore. WHAT? She’s not marrying Stefan, who in the H-E double hockey sticks is she marrying?
Right as we are all reeling from this news we see the worker bee get stuck with a spike, and then Caroline gets stuck! Who is hunting our beloved Vampires in the future? One more revelation from this revelation filled episode: Enzo is in love with Lilly. He wants more from her than just to be part of her family and that makes her feel bubbly inside; you could read it on her face.
Favorite quote: Damon to Bonnie, “Killing Malcolm was classic Damon, it had nothing to do with you.”
The Vampire Diaries airs Thursdays at 8/7c on The CW
