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Season 5, Episode 7 “Crossed”

[photos: Gene Page/AMC]

Dustin: It’s Anne-Marie’s last night with us before she moves!!

Anne-Marie: TACOS!!

Timothy: So we’re having tacos in her honor.

Anne-Marie: TACOS!!!

Curtis: They are delicious.

Anne-Marie: TAAAACOS!!!!

Dustin: Yes. Tacos indeed.

Timothy: So are you upset that you’re going to miss the last episode of 2014, Anne-Maire?

Anne-Marie: … tacos….

Dustin: Is, is that a yes?

Timothy: That’s how I’m gonna take it.



Dustin: This is the best Thanksgiving ever.

Timothy: That’s right folks, it’s the Sunday before Thanksgiving, and your dedicated team of reviewers are returned to watch this penultimate episode of the Fall season of AMC’s The Walking Dead. In between bites of spicy Mexican food, Mr. Dustin Adair will recap the show in his own inimitable style, while I shall chime in with thoughts and commentary as they strike me. Our Mr. Curtis Smith and our soon-to-be departed Miss Anne-Marie Zarrelli will be socialling the media on Twitter for us. As always, we would like to let you know that what follows contains SPOILERS, dubious reasoning, and much that is inappropriate for sensitive souls… just like the show we are watching.
It is our way, and you have been warned.

Everyone ready? Good.

Take it away, sir! 


Previously on The Walking Dead: Eugene was the worst. Beth was the best. Carol was roadkill. And Noah called in the army.

Banging. It’s Sasha. She is busting up a pew to use the wood. Tyreese and Daryl are taking apart the organ. Daryl takes one of the organ… music making things.


Wow. That pew is doing a lot more bouncing than breaking. What the hell is it made of?
Oh, and those are pipes. It’s a pipe organ.


Thank you. So he takes one of the pipes out to the front of the church where they are using them to create a kind of gate.

Gabe is, of course, having a conniption because they are all taking his church apart. He asks Daryl if he is going to pull down the cross too and Daryl is all: Maybe, if we have to!

There is a lot of DIY going on at the church, actually. Everyone is boarding up windows and doors and such.

It’s like they’re expected a fight or something.

Michonne offers to go to Atlanta for Rick, but Rick’s feelings of obligation to Carol are SO STRONG you guys.

As well they should be.

Gabe sees the note that was scratched into the side of the church by the people he allowed to be eaten. He’s a little upset.

And again, while it’s nice and dramatic and all, who takes the time to carve curses into the sides of buildings while the hordes of the undead are attacking?

Inside, Rick hands Judith over to Michonne and leaves her in charge. I would rather stay with Michonne than go anywhere with Rick. I would rather stay with Michonne than go to Toys’R’Us with Rick on the day new Monster High dolls came out. That is saying something.

Oh c’mon. Rick is much better than he used to be. Of course, considering how he used to be…

Judith seems to disagree because she starts crying for maybe the first time ever on the show.

She doesn’t agree with you either. See?



Carl and Michonne bar the door. Gabe is all super sad. He scratches at the blood stains on the floor.

He’s having a moment.

Yeah… look, I get that he’s tried to keep the place just the way it was, but c’mon man… the world isn’t the same and this way lies madness.


Down the road the away team goes. Sasha is enjoying her fugue state. Tyreese tells her that he’s been there so if she ever wants to talk. He starts in on the whole “Bob would have wanted” thing, but Sasha shuts him down pretty much immediately.

I agree, Sasha, none of that, thank you.

Meanwhile, in the hospital: Beth checks on Carol, who looks great, honestly after being hit by a damn car. Doc arrives to be all doctorly, and Beth just leaves.

Interesting… Doc is kinda terrified of Beth. It’s like she’s holding a secret over him or something. Oh wait.

On the road, the DC Away Team is still in the same place, trying to figure out what to do next. Glenn is on de facto guard duty. Tara pours the last of the water into water bottles.


Oh, this is important, she has named the group GRATEM (Glenn, Rosita, Abraham, Tara, Eugene, Maggie) so… okay. I’m into it. Good job, Tara.

I actually kind of love that she’s finding something to entertain herself with here. It’s nice to see someone actually thinking about more than survival, and finding some simple pleasures. Of course, this makes her a target on this show, but then she already was, wasn’t she?

No one seems to know what to do, Maggie is afraid that Eugene is going to die, Rosita brings Mustache some water and he’s all like: PETULANT CHILD POWERS ACTIVATE!!

He slaps the water bottle out of Rosita’s hand and it looks like he’s about to attack her when Maggie steps up. She has a gun to his head and steep in her eyes.

Gee. I wonder why his wife and kids thought it might be a better deal out in the zombie-infested world than hanging out with Abraham.

For a second, it looks like he might attack her, but I wouldn’t if I was you, Mustache, Maggie has a +10 melee and a +10 ranged weapons. She is not to be messed with.

She tells that jerk to sit down, and that jerk does.


In Atlanta: Rick is making a plan, which is basically to go into the hospital and murder the @#$% out of everyone.


Well, it has been working for him of late.

Tyreese goes: Hey, maybe we should try a plan that doesn’t involve murdering the @#$% out of everyone?

Noble and human, but this actually hasn’t been working out so well lately. Which is troubling in itself.

And Rick’s face is all like: Um, have you seen an episode of this show before? Murdering the @#$% out of everyone is the only way we ever survive.

Yeah, but anybody remember Shane? Wasn’t that his deal? And weren’t we supposed to think that was a bad thing?

And Tyreese is all like: Not murdering the @#$% out of everyone? Show of hands?

And the whole group is: Hands.

Humanity wins! For whatever that’s worth.

And Rick goes like: Grumble.


Tyreese suggests that they kidnap a couple of cops and do a prisoner exchange. Everyone seems to like that idea.


It will all end in tears.

It will, because that’s what this show does. And that raises an interesting question, one we’ve had before. Why is it that every other group of people – with the admitted exception of Abraham & Co. – seems to be just monsters or horrible or somehow bad in some way that almost requires Team Zombie to have to kill them all? Woodbury, Terminus, the Jerks Daryl ended up with, and now the hospital folks? Our takeaway lesson here seems to be that the only way that Team Zombie is going to survive is to kill everyone else, and I’m doubtful that’s the best of all futures, somehow.

Meanwhile at the church, Gabe is cleaning like his fool life depends on it. Carl would rather teach him the finer points of edged weapons, but Gabe is like… ah… no.

Gabe wants the have a long philosophical conversation, but Carl basically cuts through the crap to tell him the facts of @#$%ing life in zombie times.

Shall we just take a moment here to marvel at the evolution of Carl? Remember when the Horrible Child wouldn’t Stay in the Damn House? And here he is, explaining the logical way that they’ve learned they have to behave in the walker-filled world.

Sniff. Our little boy is all grown up.

So Gabe grabs a machete to shut the kid up.

Carl starts to tell him about all how to use the thing, but Gabe would rather go have a lie down in his office.

Get it the @#$% together, Gabe.


I think he’s realized that with the arrival of Noah, he may be the Extraneous Black Character, and as such, is not long for the world.

Hospital: Beth mops by Dawn and some other Asshole Cop while they talk about how it’s probably best just to let Carol die. Beth kind of loses it on the Asshole Cop about how much electricity his DVD player uses. Of course Dawn takes this opportunity to shut Beth down and tells the Asshole Cop to unplug Carol.


After the Asshole Cop leaves, Dawn tells Beth that she just killed Carol. Then she tells Beth that it will be up to Beth to keep Carol alive and gives her the keys to the medicine cabinet.

Why, you might ask? Well, I don’t know. The writers thought it would be a good idea to have that happen. So it did.

Right. So how is it that anyone, anyone, is following the orders of this nutjob? There are plenty of armed people in this hospital, and they all seem to be following someone whose decision making process is just insane. So Beth, logically, points out that the cop guy is using power for frivolous means, and so arguing that keeping Carol on life support is wasteful is a bit hypocritical. Dawn, not logically, tells the cop guy to turn off Carol’s life support, showing that she values cop guy’s movie collection more than a human life. Then she tells Beth that she is responsible for Carol’s impending death, which is only true if Dawn is a petty, terrible, crazy person.

Which she then proves by telling Beth that only she can save Carol now, and giving her the key to the medicine cabinet. Instead of, say, taking Beth to the medicine cabinet and saying, “Here. Maybe this will save her, maybe it won’t. Sorry, but we need to save the power.” Instead we get what reads as a trap with a capital T, because the only thing that makes any sense is that Dawn is setting Beth up. Which also makes no sense, because Beth is apparently not saying “Ahhh, you’re setting me up, aren’t you?” Gah!

Maggie sends Glenn, Rosita and Tara to go look for water. Tara makes a joke about their situation that Rosita does not find funny. There are a bunch of Walkers trapped under a telephone pole.

Again, that Tara is finding things to amuse herself with in the midst of all of this? I love it.

And by the way, what is it with all the walkers we’ve seen this season, aside from the really messed up ones, all wearing long sleeved shirts? Yes, I’m sure that the real world explanation is keeping the makeup budget down, but seriously. Every single walker is wearing a long-sleeved shirt, sleeves down. All of them. In Georgia.

They all talk a little about how they want to handle the Eugene situation. Tara wants to forgive him, Glenn is not sold just yet.

Maggie pulls a ladder off the truck. Now her melee is +50. She uses it to build a little lean-to to cover Eugene so he doesn’t burn to death in the sun. Then she goes back to where Mustache is sitting and tells him to stop being such an idiot.

Abraham? You should listen to her. She’s lost as much as you have, if not more, and if you keep this up, she’s going to end you.

Hospital: Beth goes to the Doc’s office and ask what he would give to Carol, and he asks her why and she tells him to just tell her what drugs to use already.


Doc tries to tell her that Dawn doesn’t just give out @#$% like the keys to the medicine cabinet. But Beth does not give a single @#$%.

Even the Doc knows this is a trap. C’mon Beth! Still, I think the Doc is more scared of Beth than Dawn at this point.

At the river, the water is pretty damn gross. Rosita pulls the sleeve off her shirt to make a filter to clean the water a little. She tells Glenn and Tara that Eugene taught her how to do it. Mustache and Eugene rescued her in Dallas and made her feel useful.


Yeah, on balance? Eugene is still responsible for a lie that got a lot of people killed, so…

Then there are ripples in the water!! FISH!! Everyone is super excited.

Back in Atlanta: The Cops go to the evac station to find Noah, They see him and chase him… right into a trap.



Just as the cops are zip tying Noah’s arms behind his back, Team Zombie comes out and gets the jump on them.


One of the cops asks Rick if he was a cop.


Suddenly!! There is another cop car!! It looks like the cops are going to escape for a minute, but Sasha blows out one of their tires and they have to try to try to get away on foot.


Daryl ends up fighting one of the cops next to some super creepy walkers who have been melted to the street.


And we have another cool-yet-disgusting addition to the ranks of the walkers. Eww and great job Effects Team.

It looks like Daryl is going to be bitten for a minute, but instead he pulls the head off the walker and uses it to bash the cop in the head.

Its super cray.


Daryl gets points for using his environment as a weapon, but that… yeah, eww.


So it’s back to the warehouse.

The lady cop tries to convince Team Zombie to let them go, but this one cop, Bob, tells her that the Team’s plan should work, so just shut up and let them do their thing.

Good Cop/Bad Cop? Hmmm.

At the river: Glenn and Rosita fish, while Tara looks through the backpack the found. She finds something that makes her super happy.


Back at the Church: Michonne goes to check on Gabe. To see if he’s like, alive or okay, I guess. He is.

So Michonne wants to have a conversation on what it takes to live in the world they find themselves in, but Gabe does not want to hear it. He closes her out of the office.

Gabe is using the machete to pull up the floorboards of his office.

So, that’s a thing that’s happening, I guess.

Escape route or something he’s hidden underneath the church?

Hospital: Beth uses strawberries to bribe a guy into fake a coughing fit so she can sneak into the medicine cabinet.


Wow. Apparently the cops here are either morons or desperately in need of acting lessons, because this guys attack or whatever is not remotely convincing in any way. It’s almost a textbook Diversion moment, and shouldn’t that be making these guys suspicious as all hell?

After she gets the drugs, she takes them to Carol’s room.

Live Carol, live!!

Beth tells Carol that she’s there.

Back with the Melty walkers. Tyreese and Sasha are going through the cop cars. Sasha catches her shirt sleeve on something and it rips. She kind of loses it. She tells Tyreese that she should have been the one to put Bob down, but Tyreese tells her that as long as they have each other, they will be fine.

Well, that doesn’t bode well, does it?

No, it really doesn’t, and that’s a shame. I like Sasha, and even if Tyreese isn’t anything like the comic character, I think he’s been growing on me, just a bit. It’s a nice, sweet, emotional moment of bonding and family, and it’s pretty much a “You’re Gonna Diiiiieeeeee” foreshadowing moment too, isn’t it?


Back at the church: Gabe jumps down into his escape tunnel and crawls out from under the church. He takes literally one step before he steps on a nail.


What. An. Idiot.

God, I hope this isn’t means to be Symbolism. Because that would be terrible. Also, hope Gabriel has had his tetanus shot, seeing as there’s a shortage of hosp… hmmm.

He limps off into the forest. Where he is immediately attacked by a walker; he is able to get away, but he can’t kill her because she has a cross around her neck.

OK, if this is an “escape”, then Gabriel is doomed, doomed, doomed. Seriously, how does he even think that he has a chance here?

Back at the Warehouse, Officer Bob tells Sasha this long story about how he had a best buddy named Tyler who died out in the yard and he saw him and now he’s super sad about it.


 Welp, that’s it for Officer Bob, isn’t it? I mean, he’s been helpful, he has a name now, and it’s even the same name as a recently departed member of Team Zombie. He’s so dead.


Glenn leads the ladies back to the fire engine. Tara plays with the yo-yo she found.

I love, love, love the look on Tara’s face here. Again, it’s so nice to see someone finding some simple pleasures to enjoy, and being kinda happy in the midst of the whole Eugene thing, and it just makes me sad that it is painting a giant target on Tara. Remember Bob, and his being happy? Giant Target.


Alright, so Abraham is finally drinking some water, and using the words to do the talking, and Eugene is waking up. Pretty sure there’s still going to be some fireworks, but maybe Abraham is going to recognize that being an asshat isn’t going to get anyone anywhere. Not likely, but maybe.

At the Warehouse, Sasha tells Bob that she will shoot Walker Tyler for him.

She goes with Bob to the window to put Walker Tyler out of his misery, then Bob knocks her unconscious and escapes.


Oh, dumb old Bob.

Dumb old, soon to be dead Bob. His odds of survival just got even worse, and they sucked before.

Well, yeah. Sasha should have seen that coming, and actually, her offer to shoot the guy would have been a bad tactical move anyway, since even with a silencer, the gunshot would have made noise that could have drawn attention from the hospital folks.

And I guess that’s my problem with this episode as a whole. It felt… very Hand Of The Writer, with everything happening just to move everyone into the places they needed to be for the mid-season finale. There were some really good character moments for a good chunk of Team Zombie…

Beth, Maggie, especially Maggie…

… yeah, she was great. Tara, Sasha and Tyresse, and even Carl. But still. It felt very contrived. And we’ve had much better episodes this season and last, so when we have these “eh” ones, they really stand out. But it does get us where we need to be for what is supposed to be a pretty brutal finale.

“Heartbreaking”. That’s what the production team is calling it. So that’s something we get to look forward to. Yay.
And speaking of heartbreaking…


It is, in fact, our last The Walking Dead dinner/gathering/general-hanging-out with our Anne-Marie.

We make movies, this little band of lunatics who meet every week this show is on, getting together and coming up with these reviews. I met Anne-Marie on the first shoot I was an Assistant Director, and Dustin met her on the feature film Fetch, which became American Maniacs, and Curtis met her somewhere in there, too. We’ve made film after film together since, and Anne-Marie has been a critical and most welcome part of our professional and personal lives in a way that only the best of friends can be.

These nights, these The Walking Dead nights, are not going to be the same without her here.

Our lives, professional and personal, are not going to be the same without her, here or anywhere else.

We’re happy as all hell that she is embarking on a new adventure, a new life, and we look forward to hearing many wonderful accounts of life down in the Big Easy, but in truth, we’re going to miss her terribly.

We will, but that is somewhat eased by our knowledge that her new life will consist of her solving supernatural crimes every week, while working at a quaint little antique shop in the French Quarter.

I… I don’t think that’s what she’s going to be…

Solving Crimes! Quaint Little Antique Shop!

I stand corrected. We love you Anne-Marie. Safe travels.

[Show site at AMC]    [Previous recap: “Consumed”]



Timothy Harvey

Timothy Harvey is a Kansas City based writer, director, actor and editor, with something of a passion for film noir movies. He was the art director for the horror films American Maniacs, Blood of Me, and the pilot for the science fiction series Paradox City. His own short films include the Noir Trilogy, 9 1/2 Years, The Statement of Randolph Carter - adapted for the screen by Jason Hunt - and the music video for IAMEVE’s Temptress. He’s a former President and board member for the Independent Filmmakers Coalition of Kansas City, and has served on the board of Film Society KC.

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