THE WALKING DEAD: Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things

Season 2, Episode 11 “Judge, Jury, Executioner”

Timothy: Greetings Dead Heads, we’re back again with a review that’s mere days after the episode aired… clearly Mssrs. Adair, Curtis and my own self have been eating our Critical Wheaties or something. But our enthusiasm for dissecting the Adventures of Team Zombie for your reading pleasure knows no bounds, and once more Dustin Adair will recap the show in his inimitable style, Curtis Smith will tweet sweet nothings into your ears, and I, well I will surely find myself offended by the writers and rant a bit. In the background, wisely keeping her own counsel, is our friend Anne-Marie, here not only to be entertained by Team Zombie, but also by the antics of your reviewers. We’ll let you ponder which of these she finds the more amusing.

As usual, the following contains SPOILERS and considerable misbehaving.

So, shall we… good lord. Um, Dustin? Why are you standing on the table?

Dustin: It isn’t a table, it’s a stage. And I am Dusto! The Great and Powerful Seer!

But of course you are.

The Great and Powerful Dusto will now bestow his Predictions for tonight’s Walking Dead!

Oh Good. You were SO accurate last week.

I will not have any of your guff, Mr. Harvey!!

Please, Oh Great and Powerful Seer, do enlighten us.

((Grrr))) Ahem.

• Rick will hem and haw about the morality of killing Randall until the last possible second, until the choice is practically taken out of his hands.
• Andrea will see Shane’s true colors, perhaps right after it’s too late.
• Lori will mandate that all women on the farm must wear skirts no shorter than knee-length and they must all get pregnant with a million babies.
• Maggie will throw herself a pity party about how Glenn loves her Too Much and has therefore decided he does not want to be with her.
• The whole episode will be about Theodore, fleshing out his character, making him a fully integral part of Team Zombie, truly and finally.

Oh yes, you’re getting good at this.

I will take that as the compliment I’m sure you meant it as.

… yeah. Let’s get to the show.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis You know who’s loneliest in walking dead world? Astronauts. #thewalkingdead @scifi4me

In the barn, Daryl is taking out some aggression on Randall. With his fists. Apparently he is trying to get information out of him; it’s a little Abu Ghraib-y. And you’re making a face.

Well yeah. I mean, yes I covered this last week, but c’mon. NOW they’re interrogating Randall? They had him for a week at least before the last episode and didn’t, apparently, say word one to him, when I imagine he might be all, “hey, thanks for saving my life and fixing my leg, how can I help you kind people”, but now, after Rick is pretty sure he’s going to have to kill him, NOW they start talking to him? Or in this case, torturing the hell out of him? Am I the only one who thinks this is all bass ackwards?

And why, exactly, is Daryl doing the questioning? Shouldn’t it be Rick?

Did you really just ask that?

Yeah, I know. Lost my head there for a moment. OK, Shane then? There really isn’t going to be a reason is there. It’s just Daryl for the sake of showing Daryl can do this sort of thing. Ah hell. Carry on.

Randall is trying to explain that he just joined up with the people for safety. He says there are like, 30 people with his old group, men women and kids, but only the men go out to raid. Apparently men liked to get a little rapey when they came upon unsuspecting teenaged girls. Maybe Randall was a little rapey too, but I don’t know if he’ll be around long enough for us to find out.

At Team Zombie’s camp, everyone is waiting for Daryl to report.
Rick says they are going to kill him. Of course Dale has a problem with it. Dale wants a democracy. Rick misses the rule of law, but he’s still all about the killing Randall. Dale says Carl is watching and learning how to be a good man from all of this. Rick says that if he can convince everyone to change their mind about killing Randall, he will go with the group’s decision.

This is so stupid.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis
so far, zombie-free as well as goblin-free. Welcome to The Talking Dead. #thewalkingdead @scifi4me

Well, I’ll agree that Rick is, as usual, being stupid, but I’m sort of with Dale here. Then again, if our writers has actually given us realistic behavior of any kind when it comes to the whole Randall situation then we wouldn’t be at this point, would we?

So Dale heads out on the “Let’s Save Randall” tour, his first stop: Andrea. She is in the RV, looking for guns. Dale has hidden them under the bench. Dale tells Andrea that Randall deserves a chance, but Andrea is skeptical. Of course she is. He asks her to go out to the barn and guard Randall until he can try to convince the others not to kill him. He thinks that if Shane gets wind of what he is trying, he will just go kill him.
Andrea and Dale talk forever and a day about keeping their humanity and whether or not Randall deserves to live. Andrea agrees to guard Randall until a decision is made.

Hey, at least Andrea is listening to Dale. Of course, he’s not telling her how to live her life, so that might be a factor.

Randall tries to escape, or get some water or something. This whole thing is making him seem about as dangerous as a retarded puppy. Which of course that means that soon he will be called on to do something dangerous and out of character soon.

Oh look! He’s limping! Why? Cause he’s got a freaking huge hole in his leg. Good of them to remember that this week.

Shane and Carl have a moment. Shane arrives to berate Andrea about guarding the prisoner. Andrea reaffirms her allegiance to Team Shane. Shane tells her that if Randall lives it will be a problem. Shane talks mutiny and Andrea is spooked by the idea. All the while, Randall is listening.

And oh, Carl has snuck in to the barn.

Randal tries to sweet talk Carl into releasing him. Hrm… maybe Randall is a little dangerous. Of course, Carl looks at him like he’s a cat toy and Carl is a bored kitty. It’s creepier than advertised.

I’m really thinking I don’t want this kid standing behind me.

Shane arrives just in time to stop Carl and Randall from doing something stupid… and to scare Andrea a little. Shane tells Carl he can never let his guard down or he will die.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis I’m so sick of this Rick and Shane penis measuring contest. #thewalkingdead @scifi4me

Finally Andrea might be seeing Shane clearly. Not saying one of your predictions is right, just saying she might be.

Dusto! Great and Powerful!

Yeah, yeah. Get on with it.

The “Let’s Save Randall” tour arrives at Daryl’s camp out on the outskirts of the farm. Dale and Daryl talks about how Daryl is being an outsider by choice. Daryl tries to deny that he has any feelings for the group, but Dale calls him out on that lie.
Dale tells him that he thinks the torture was not really something Daryl is really about, but Daryl tries to shrug it off about how he’s a lone wolf. Dale calls bull on that too. Dale tries to tell Daryl about how he thinks Shane killed Otis and Daryl basically says ‘No Duh’. Apparently Daryl has been reading the scripts to the episodes, and he says the only reason Rick didn’t see it sooner is that he didn’t want to.

Daryl says that the group is broken.

Daryl. Still one of the best written characters of the show. If he was the lead, I don’t think we’d be having these drawn out storylines. Of course, it would be a completely different show, but I’d watch it. Here though, I think Dale hits it on the head. Daryl is trying to protect himself from caring too much about these people, and not doing a very good job of it… something I think he’s keenly aware of.

And he’s right, this group is very broken.

Carl and Lori have a talk about literally nothing as she heads off to find Rick. Rick is in the barn looking around. Rick wants to move into the barn during the winter, but Lori wants to move into the house. I wonder what Hershel is gonna think about that?

Oh, and Rick is also thinking about hanging Randall in the barn, you know just in case they want to move into it during the winter.

Yeah.

“We’ll put the couch over here, the dresser over here… oh here we’ll put up that lovely picture your mother gave us, right next to the gallows. It’ll be so homey!”

Rick asks Lori if killing Randall is the best solution, Lori is all for the hanging if Rick is. She is gonna stand by her man. (Anne-Marie says that Lori makes her ovaries hurt. I tend to agree.) Of course he is having problems with it (it was my first prediction this week.)

Don’t get cocky.

Outside the barn, Carl is standing by Sophia’s grave. Carol arrives and tells him that Sophia is in a better place; she has gone up to heaven. But then, Carl calls her an idiot and runs off. Carol goes to Lori and Rick to tell them to get control of their boy. Rick goes off after Carl while Lori tries to calm Carol down. Carol tells Lori that she will, in fact, not calm down. She tells Lori that she is tired of being ignored and avoided. She says she lost her daughter, not her mind.

You know, Carol has become one of my favorite characters, especially since she found out Sophia was dead. More than anything, it’s because she is actually reacting in a believable manner, something in short supply around these parts. No fan of hitting kids, but I’m kind of surprised she didn’t slap the little jerk. Maybe if she had… well. And it’s nice to see her standing up for herself. Now she just needs to corner Daryl and give that man some perspective.

Is that what we’re calling it now?

Make with the sex. Happy?

Yes. Anyway, Rick calls Carl out for being rude to Carol. Carl tells him that heaven is stupid, so Rick tells him to allow people to hold on to their stupid beliefs. Carl asks Rick about killing Randall and Rick pushes the subject away.

“Let’s Save Randall” tour arrives at Hershel, who is out looking for some escaped cows. Dale tries to get him on the team but Hershel is ready to turn a blind eye. This is getting really stupid.

I think we have the answer about moving into the house. Wow Hershel, way to swing to the opposite pole here. Where’s that fire you turned on Shane?

Carl is wandering around, he finds Daryl’s walker ears, and plays with his motorcycle a little. Then he goes snooping through his stuff and finds a gun. He takes it’s and heads out into the woods.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis I never noticed Darryl had a Nazi bike before. Classy.
#thewalkingdead @scifi4me

This keeps getting better and better.

Yes, because it’s always a good choice to steal a gun and go wander into the zombie infested woods.

He goes to the place where they lost Sophia and finds a walker stuck in the bog. Carl turns to run, but then realizes it can’t move. He gets closer but not too close.

He throws a rock at it. God, I hate this. Carl gets a look like the one he had with Randall.

Congratulations Carl! You’ve been selected for this week’s: How Stupid Can The Writers Make You Act?! Now you too can make choices with terrible consequences purely to advance story points!

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis How many meth-skinny zombie extras are there left in the world? #thewalkingdead @scifi4me

Shane is hiding stuff in his car when the “Let’s Save Randall” tour actually stops at him! I was not expecting this. Dale and Shane actually have a decent conversation about Randall. Shane says that if Dale can convince the others to spare Randall, he won’t stop him, but when Randall kills someone, the blood will be on Dale’s hands.

I wasn’t expecting this either. Not bad guys, it actually was a legitimate exchange of views between two men who can’t stand each other. Wait, what have you done with the usual writing team?

Daughter Fodder has taken back to bed. Hershel is singing to the useless thing.
Glenn arrives to talk to Hershel. Glenn is Korean, and it matters to Hershel or something. Hershel tells him about immigrants and a watch and his sobriety. And how Maggie is a good woman. Apparently Hershel is giving Glenn is approval to bone Maggie all the time. He gives Glenn his watch.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis I was so hoping Hershel would say something racist. #thewalkingdead @scifi4me

Oh no, this won’t derail that completely contrived Glenn/Maggie “break up”. Not at all. Nice to see Hershel looking at Glenn for who he is.

Rick is sitting on the porch. Lori comes out and they talk about Randall’s execution. Lori asks if it would be okay for rick to allow Shane to kill Randall, but Rick says it has to be him that kills Randall. Rick asks if Lori thinks killing Randall is the right decision and Lori bugs her eyes at him.

Meanwhile, in the dumbest plot thread ever, Carl is still toying with a dead thing. He points the gun at it, but the walker gets its feet unstuck from the mud before he can pull the trigger. It falls on Carl and knocks the gun from Carl’s hand. It tries to get a hold on Carl, but Carl is able to get away.

Everyone I am watching this episode with slapped their foreheads.

OK, let’s review… you know what, no. HEY! IDIOT CHILD! DO NOT TAUNT THE DEAD THING! THIS IS NOT SOMETHING YOU SHOULD HAVE TO BE TOLD! Mud is not a deterrent to much of anything by the way. Just saying. Creepy and stupid.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis Why are kids such idiots? #thewalkingdead @scifi4me

It’s sundown and Carl arrives to back like exactly nothing has happened. I guess people missed him as much as they missed Lori a couple of episodes ago.

I vote for Rick and Lori to get the Most Attentive Parents award. It’s not like there are zombies wandering around or anything. What could possibly go wrong with letting your child just wander off?

Everyone goes into the house to discuss Randall’s fate. They wait for Carl leave the room to bring the Moron Council to order.

Shane votes kill the kid.

No surprise. But Shane is being true to character, so that’s OK, and from his point of view, it makes sense.

Dale votes no. He expects Glenn to agree, but Glenn is on Shane’s side. Dale is very disappointed.

I feel torn here. I would have liked to see Glenn say no, but I understand him saying yes. Fear is a pretty good motivator, and with Hershel giving him the blessing for Maggie, I guess I’m not surprised.

Maggie wants to continue to keep Randall prisoner. It is discussed for a moment, but Shane says Randall will eventually bring back his men. Hershel suggests dropping him off again. Older Greene daughter asks if he’ll suffer if he’s killed.

The Greene’s have established a certain tendency towards mercy already, so no surprises.

Theodore asks about what they would do with the body. Way to have a line, Theodore.

“Dear writers. While I appreciate the steady paycheck, as a trained actor who has, from time to time, displayed, in all modesty, a significant amount of talent, I would like to respectfully ask for some dialogue of relevance. Not every episode of course. I am aware that I am not, in fact, one of the leads, but looking around, I notice that everyone on-screen has had some serious screen time in the last few episodes… everyone but me. Hell, Otis’ wife has had more dialogue than I have lately. Oh, and can we have me start going by Theodore, or Theo is fine too. I would like to be a fully developed character please, and not a mute cliché. Thanks.”

Dale says that killing Randall makes them all monsters. Andrea argues to look at all the options. Carol wants to be left out of it. But Dale tells her that not voting is just as bad as voting to kill him.

I’m liking Dale here. This is actually a good debate, and for a show that’s usually too damn talky, at least they are talking about something.

Dale talks about the power of humanity and trying to be better people, no one takes the bait. Except for Andrea, who says they need to find another way. But no one else is for it. Dale calls them all out for basically being cowards. He tells Daryl that the group is broken and leaves the room.

Ah hell.

What?

No, no… I’ll tell you later if I’m right. And I’m pretty damn sure I am. For now, just, ah hell.

Interesting.

Rick, Shane and Daryl walk Randall to the barn where he will be killed. Shane puts a blindfold on him. Daryl and Rick stand around. Daryl kicks Randall to his knees. Randall is crying. Rick asks if he has any last words, which are of course “Please don’t” then Rick goes to kill him, but look who has just entered the barn! It’s Carl! Carl completes the Psycho Kid cycle by telling Rick to shoot Randal. The little freak actually wants to watch. And that changes Rick’s mind. Shane blusters his way out of the barn.

Hey, remember my prediction? Uh huh, yeah.

Cocky. Don’t get.

Rick goes back and tells everyone that Randall gets to stay in custody for now. Andrea rushes off to tell Dale the good news. Lori tries to argue, but then Rick tells her about what a little weirdo Carl was being in the barn.  They hug.

Hey? Whatever happened to that walker Carl let out of the bog?

Oh. Dale walks up on a dying cow; it appears to have been gutted. (For about a second we thought that the cow was zombified, but were all glad that it was not the case.) Suddenly and Dale is attacked by the walker that Carl let out.

This is what you were “Ah hell”-ing about, isn’t it?

It is. Carry on sir, I’ll talk about it in a bit.

He is losing pretty badly to it, and it basically guts him. Everyone arrives just in time to not be any help at all. Daryl puts a knife in the walker’s head and Hershel arrives and tells them there is nothing that he can do for Dale. Well yeah, his entrails are hanging out.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis Yuck. #thewalkingdead @scifi4me

Everyone cries as the last person with a conscience lies on the ground suffering.

Carl notices that the walker that did this is the walker that he let out of the bog.

Andrea tells Rick to do something.

Rick tries to put Dale out of his misery, but he can’t.

Everyone that didn’t want to watch Randall be put to death by their vote gets to watch as Daryl steps in and raises his gun.

Cut to black.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis Why can’t the rest of this show be as good as the endings? #thewalkingdead @scifi4me

Now talk.

Carl. You little… can we have Sophia back and have little mister idiot be the zombie? Stupid creepy little brat.

OK. You and I both know how much Dale has been something of a meddler, and we’ve both complained about how he’s been written. But here he was doing what the writer’s have thought they’ve been doing with Rick, and asking the real question about how much humanity they have to sacrifice. And they were doing it right this time. None of this wishy-washy Rick nonsense, just Dale asking where is the line, and which of them is brave enough NOT to cross it.

Here we have the big debate between Rick and Shane, and here Dale spelled it out in a way that even Andrea, tempted by Shane’s views, can see that it’s not an easy choice to make. Here Dale makes them see that following along without thinking about where you’re going, without asking about where you’re going, is agreeing to the destination. I’ve always been a fan of the actor, and for a character who has been often written so erratically, he’s given a really good episode here.

And that’s when I knew he was going to die.

On the other hand… Dale? Zombie infested woods, remember? Wandering off into the dark? Not the brightest move. Then again, how could you know that there would be a Stealth Zombie waiting for you?

So there you have it folks! Dale has shuffled off this mortal coil, Randall is still breathing, Shane is still crazy. Rick can’t make a decision, Lori’s eyes are miraculously still in her head, Andrea’s might be opened a bit and Carol is sick of everyone being jerks. Hershel has lost his backbone but has all but given Maggie to Glenn, Darryl can’t hide his humanity, and T-Dog lives in hope of dialogue.

And Carl is the Anti-Christ.

Creepy little jerk.

And now, I suppose we must review Dustin’s…

Dusto! The Great and Powerful Seer!

Sigh. Dusto’s…

The Great and Powerful Seer!

Predictions for this week! OK, you’ve got a hit on the first one. Of course that’s sort of a given on this show.

Success!

Yeah. OK. One. The second… that’s a pretty solid maybe. We got hints that it might be going that way, but we’ll see what Andrea does next week, so no points there.

I may have seen too far into the future. It happens sometimes.

Of course it does. As for the third, that’s a no, as is the fourth and the fifth, so let’s see, that’d be 1 out of 5, and so 20%. Again.

Actually, I got 2 out 5 last week, so that was 40%.

I stand corrected. You’re getting worse.

Wait…

That’s all the time we have this week folks! Our lesson this week is pretty clear, and it fact it’s right there at the top: Children shouldn’t play with dead things.

Go forth and spread the word and we’ll see you next week.

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