ONCE UPON A TIME The Three-Hour Tour Finally Ended

Episode 309 “Save Henry”

Last episode, the show jumped the shark. This episode, we get Regarding Henry in flashback, while every now and then the show tosses the audience a bone and puts us in the present day.

My biggest complaint about this show over the last couple of seasons: the writers tend to draw things out interminably so to stretch the story over more episodes than any particular arc needs. The Neverland arc is just the latest example, taking eleven episodes to tell a story that could easily have been done in five. Except we have to get a lot of exposition and back-story to give us history that we really don’t need in order to understand what’s going on. I mean, really, who needs to see Regina’s back-and-forth as she tries to cope with being a new mother when she’s clearly unprepared for it? What does that do to propel the present day story?

Nothing.

All it does, all any of these back-story episodes do, is take up time making the attempt to add depth to characters — some of whom don’t matter, some of whom don’t need it, and some of whom shouldn’t have it because we as an audience shouldn’t be sympathizing with them.

When the producers decided Regina and Rumpelstiltskin both needed redemption arcs, they blew it. Those two characters are the strongest villains in the cast, and that’s not saying much because the heroes are wishy-washy anyway. How long did it take for David/Charming to grow a spine? How many times can Mary Margaret/Snow White get her feelings hurt because she’s the innocent in a room full of bullies? How long does it take for Emma to accept the idea of magic when she’s clearly demonstrated a gift for it herself?

This particular episode: same thing. Everything’s drawn out, even though the pace is somewhat better. Suffice to say, we get off the island. Henry gets his heart back because Regina does what she does best — mean stuff that she doesn’t regret. She’s full on evil for a moment, and this is the Regina that works for this show. When she takes Henry’s heart from Pan, she does it with no hesitation and no remorse, exactly as we would expect from Season One Evil Queen Regina.

Of course, it’s never as easy as all that, is it?

In the aftermath of the spat (I’m not going to call it a “battle” because it wasn’t, because Pan’s not a threat), Pan manages to stow away on board the Jolly Roger, and since he can’t take Henry’s heart (protection spell from Regina), he’ll settle for Henry’s shadow — but he’s interrupted by his boy, Rumpelstiltskin, who manages to lock Pan in Pandora’s Box.

But not before Pan does some Goa’uld shiny-eye body-snatcher switch with Henry. So it’s actually Henry in the box, and Pan’s now in Henry’s body, planning and scheming for when they get back to Storybrooke.

Now, here’s the thing. This is a forty-something-year-old man who’s been living as an ageless teenager on an island with no rules and no supervision. He’s now in the body of a normal eleven-year-old kid who will now start to behave differently in front of how many people who just risked their lives to save him and protect him? If the adults in the room don’t notice a change in his behavior pretty soon after they all hit their peaceful little hamlet, I’m calling “shenanigans” (again) and very likely abandoning recaps for this show.

You’ve been warned.

[Official Show Site at ABC]     [Previous recap: “Think Lovely Thoughts”]

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