Dear Night Vale, Our Intern Survived
Having paid homage to the Shape in the Corner that Does Not Speak, we can now share with our dear readers that our Intern Raul has successfully completed his summer internship and is making his journey home to Arizona.
We have been forbidden from disclosing a more exact location due to the unexpected consequences of his most recent haircut. It seems the vibrations have been causing flares in the NSA’s surveillance satellites, which had the effect of altering the flight control computers on the black helicopters, thus delaying the flight Intern Raul and his family were supposed to take. So Intern Raul will remain underground for a brief time until such time as he can emerge and not interfere with the FAA, NSA, FDA, or EPA.
The Department of Confusion has clarified the documents that went back with Intern Raul, making certain that the doodles of the Shape in the Corner that Does Not Speak, were sufficiently covered up so as not to cause undue confusion for the intern program office personnel at the University of Arizona.
Now, for some reason, we’ve started seeing vaporous smoke creatures near Headquarters, in what appear to be the shape of weasels, causing us to wonder if perhaps Intern Raul has left some sort of metaphysical trail in his wake, for these smoke creatures only appeared after Intern Raul departed from our immediate vicinity. We are now working on a way to entice the weasel-shaped smoke creatures to vacate the premises in favor of the vacant lot behind the new graveyard conveniently located next to the hospital.
We have also received a rather perplexing missive dated November 15 in the year 802,701. The contents are rather disturbing. We won’t disclose the details here, but there’s a very dire warning that involves a statue of H.P. Lovecraft and Kim Kardashian, along with a rather troubling mention of tentacles and puppies.
We may have shared too much already.
To Intern Raul: we are happy to have had you as our very first official university intern, and we are very pleased that you survived the encounter. Thank you very much for your hard work and enthusiasm.
And to the township of Night Vale: we look forward to intercepting your next transmission. Although we will not listen to it while passing the dog park…
