THE 100 RECAP: Smoke and Mirrors (But Mostly Smoke)

Episode 306 “Bitter Harvest”
Written by Kira Snyder, directed by Dean White

I can’t say how sorry I am for how inexcusably late these recaps are. All I can say is if you’ve been keeping up with this show in an actual timely manner, you may not even be reading this and in fact may have thrown your laptop against a wall. I have not, so I can continue watching and recapping this show despite numerous suggestions by my therapist to stop.

Well you know what Angela, it’s my life.

In the giant candle that is the capital of Grounders, Lexa (Alycia Debnam-Carey) and Clarke (Eliza Taylor) are sharing a beautiful moment (filled with even more candles). Even before the episode aired Titanic references had already been run into the ground, so I’ll skip mine. All I can say is it’s HELLA CUTE and I’m glad to know the writers didn’t forget Clarke’s art. Lexa awakens from a nightmare, which is actually all the past commanders speaking to her in her sleep. Those of you who watched Avatar: The Last Airbender will be familiar with this concept. Lexa believes they are warning her of her death, because of how she betrayed their legacy. “Jus Drein Jus Daun has always, always been the way of our people,” Lexa says (Although to be perfectly fair, your people have only existed 97 years, babe). Clarke reassures her, but I’m not really paying attention as I watch her gorgeous unwashed hair swaying in the breeze.

Then Titus (Neil Sandilands) comes in. Yay Titus! He comes bearing gifts for Wanheda, from the newly crowned King Roan of the Ice Nation. The gift takes the appearance of a giant box, but it’s what’s in the box that’s important. Give up yet? It’s Emerson y’all! Emerson (Toby Levins) immediately goes crazy nanners at the sight of Clarke, who, in his defense, did kill everyone he ever knew and loved. He gets dragged away and the credits roll.

Elsewhere, Monty’s bitchy mom (Donna Yamamoto) and some other Pike loyalists are testing the water surrounding Arkadia. Why they need guns for that is unclear, but Space Ranger Octavia Blake (Marie Avgeropoulos) is on the case to find out. She’s in contact with Kane (Henry Ian Cusick), her real father, via the radio he gave her. However trouble is afoot in a big way: a grounder child has stumbled upon this gaggle of freaky gun people playing in the water and mud. Monty’s mom is friendly at first, until Mr. Janky Looking suggests killing him to prevent the grounders knowing what they’re up to (keep in mind: him being a 10 year old child).

However, Octavia ain’t having any of it, and after a super cool chase scene where my respect for this kid expands 1000%, she keeps him hidden from the masses. Despite having acid tree sap literally dripping on her skull (is everything on earth just made of acid now?), she manages to keep herself and the kid quiet until the coast is clear. Octavia freaking Blake, everybody: the current poster child for character development.

Beautiful Sun Warrior Princess Abigail Griffin (Paige Turco) is checking up on Raven (Lindsey Morgan) in Medical. You may remember that Raven can suddenly walk again, which is weird considering she hasn’t healed at all. The pain is simply gone, according to her and Jaha (Isaiah Washington). Abby still wants to test her for drugs, because she is brilliant and benevolent towards all her mortals. Raven is tripping on the Kool-Aid, however, but despite all that, Abby clears her to return to work for Sinclair.

Kane and Miller (Jarod Joseph) — MILLER!!!! — walk down the hallway in a very NCIS-esque manner, with the intent of breaking into the Chancellor’s office and bugging it. Miller is here and gets to do things!!! I am once again alive. Kane provides a distraction by going beardo vs. goatee with Pike (Michael Beach) in the hall, about the interned grounders and any one of 1,000 terrible decisions Pike’s made in his 52 hours as chancellor. He also tries to snag at his right-hand man Bellamy (Bob Morley), whom I’m trying to hate but dammit his hair looks good right here. I’m weak and I’m sorry, guys. I really am.

Jaha’s indoctrinating more people into the City of Light, which intrigues Jasper (Devon Bostick) and his sophomore beard. Radiant Healer Abby Griffin is also there, noting that more and more people have inhaled the communion wafer of crazy. Abby warns Jasper not to partake in any new drugs until she knows what’s in them. Fruitless, since telling Jasper to do something sensible has worked out approximately 0 times this season.

In Pike’s newly-bugged office, Monty (Christopher Larkin) and Monroe (Katie Stuart) — (Monroe?!!!) — are being welcomed into the douchey fold, while Miller and Kane and their amazing beards listen in. Octavia is also in the circle, beardless but still beautiful. Pike and his new babies are discussing how they’ll replenish their food stores. Like all Pike’s plans, this involves killing Grounders for literally no reason. Monty (who is a beautiful pure angel and does not deserve any of this, but I’m so glad he’s getting his own storyline that I honestly don’t even care), unlike Bellamy, is not totally down with mass murder. Pike gives another crappy xenophobic ultimatum, and I take a shot because I literally can’t handle it anymore.

In the giant candle, Lexa and Titus argue while Clarke arrives. Lexa wants to discuss what they should do with the Last Mountain Man (A supercool moniker that Emerson definitely does not deserve). Titus and Clarke agree that Emerson should be killed for his crimes, but Lexa is really sticking to her new catch phrase and subtly pointing out Clarke’s hypocrisy. “So Jus no Drein Jus Daun applies only when it’s my people who bleed?” (okay, not terribly subtle). Lexa gives Clarke a choice: she can banish Emerson from their lands, or stab him 49 times. And remember, Clarke’s very adept at stabbing (RIP Finn).

In a very cool cave of planning, Miller (MILLER!!!!!!! IS DOING SO MANY THINGS!!!!!! THANK YOU SANTA) brings Octavia her horse. Octavia’s big plan is to warn the grounders of the attack, therefore stopping the massacre. Miller isn’t too onboard, since failure means trotting Bellamy & Co. straight into an ambush. He comes around though when he realizes that stopping the war would save more of their friends. My heart is actually exploding. I have to go to the hospital.

Newly Crazy Raven is chilling in her lab space, meditating and crying because drugs. Out of nowhere Jaha and ALIE (Erica Cerra) appear before her (are they real? Who knows?!! Is anything real?), and thank her for how many new recruits she’s brought into the crazy fold. “Anything I can do to help,” she grins, and is it just me or is this new, compliant, smiley Raven creepy as hell?

Anywhoo. ALIE wants Raven to find version 2 of her programming, which she believes to be on the Ark’s computers. Raven, who is apparently still not totally drowned in Kool-Aid, points out that most engineers don’t make a version 2 of anything unless there’s a problem with version one (AMBULANCE WARNING LIGHTS IN THE DISTANCE). She comes around rather quickly. There’s still enough Raven in this crazy ball to give ALIE a dope nickname, and she splits. Jaha and his fun hallucination scheme and plot in a subdued manner, and I suddenly notice how fire ALIE’s eyebrows are because this conversation is painfully boring.

Bellamy, who is somehow looking way hotter now that he’s become evil, is prepping for his second massacre in a week. Kane and his beard do not approve, and so he Dads his way in there like a champ, trying yet again to talk Bellamy out of committing mass murder. It goes something like this:

Kane: Bellamy, please stop being a dick.
Bellamy: After careful consideration, I have decided to continue being a dick.

Kane also tries to slide into Monty’s Mom’s DMs and talk her out of trotting her only son off to war, which again, does not work. I wonder who’s Kool-Aid tastes better, Pike’s or Jaha’s? So Bellamy, Monroe, Monty and his mom, and Miller’s hot boyfriend Bryan (Jonathan Whitesell) all hop in the RV for a road trip of death and destruction. Playlist probably provided by Jasper.

Octavia is still out there trying to ruin all her brother’s fun (and by fun I mean murder). She rolls up to the grounder village in obvious peace and hotness, trying to warn them of the impending attack. The grounders are less than compliant, and it looks like them’s fighting words, until the kid Octavia rescued earlier comes and speaks in her defense. This will end well, right?

Meanwhile, The Goddess Athena (known by her current moniker, Abby Griffin), is still trying to process how Raven’s pain disappeared so quickly. Because she cares so much and is a loving goddess. Jackson (Sachin Sahel) gives a lovely pep talk which soothes her worries and makes me smile (heart eye emoji). I love Jackson. Please don’t kill him.

Right in the middle of it, Daddy Kane ambles in. He’s here to discuss plans and wallow in self-pity, so it’s Abby’s turn to give a pep talk, which Kane desperately needs. He’s wracked with (understandable) guilt; after all, if he hadn’t demanded an election, Pike wouldn’t be Chancellor and they wouldn’t be facing a war in which they had to send children to die (Just a thought: maybe sending children to die shouldn’t be the Ark’s first resort for problem solving? Maybe?). But Abigail Griffin is 1000x better at pep talks than Jackson, and after assuring Kane that they are no longer kids (echoing Raven’s sentiments to Abby sometime last season), she goes in for a heart-exploding cheek kiss that makes me glad I bought this shirt:

The grounder village has apparently decided to follow Octavia’s advice and dip before the Skaikru attack. As she’s chatting with the village leader, Octavia happens to notice them setting up a rig with the same acid that burned her head earlier. This obviously not being something someone does before evacuating, Octavia has just enough time to get told off by village leader Semet (Zak Santiago) before getting K.O.’d. I was wrong. This did not end well. I am a fool. I apologize.

Raven and her majestic ponytail are going through the Ark’s computers. She’s joined by her very own ALIE hallucination, whom she asks how her programming wound up in space. ALIE gives a creepy and ominous answer (duh) before disappearing into the technological void. This is when Jasper decides to waltz in on Raven (who of course appeared to be talking to herself). His purpose? To apologize for the desecration of Finn’s remains (You know, Raven’s ex? Guy she was madly in love with? Finn!). Jasper is notably suspicious when he does not get the ever loving corn nuts beat out of him like the normal Raven would do. But this isn’t normal Raven. This is Kool-Aid Raven, and she’s aiite with it.

You know who’s not aiite? Emerson (Toby Levins)! He’s tied and blindfolded in Lexa’s conference room, ready to get kebab’d. Our Khaleesi rolls in and dismisses all the guards (because apparently she can do that) so she can go mano y mano with the Last Mountain Man. I never knew a camera could spin around so much as they both trade barbs about whose fault the Mount Weather fiasco was (the answer? Everyone). He rattles off Clarke’s body count, including two of his own children. Clarke doesn’t really try to defend herself, but she does give Emerson a bleak way out. “If you want mercy, you’re going to have to ask me for it,” says the Khaleesi. But Emerson doesn’t want mercy. Emerson wants Clarke to have to live with her demons, and the guilt of what she’s done. Which, as we all know, is how she ended up killing panthers in the woods with a cheap dye job.

When Clarke returns to her room she finds Titus, who is also here to talk to Clarke about revenge. They have a lovely (and only slightly malicious) chat surrounded by hundreds of candles, in which Titus warns her that Blood Must Not Have Blood will never be accepted by their people, and will lead Lexa to ruin. Clarke obviously only cares about that last part. She also obviously can’t aide Titus in convincing Lexa to massacre everyone she’s ever known and loved (you know, the same thing she did to Emerson. No shade).

Jasper, led on by Raven, is now observing the communion wafer of crazy with Jaha. ALIE believes he’s ready to drink up, but they’re all interrupted by the pure being of light and logic that is Abby Griffin. She’s not impressed by all of Jaha’s psychobabble, and, being a woman of science, wants to know exactly what he’s feeding into her patients. Jaha responds with a lot of smart people talk that is more sci-fi than anything we’ve seen so far on this show. I’m into it. Abby demands to run tests on it to make sure it’s harmless, trying to tug on some heartstrings by saying “would you have given it to Wells without testing it first?” (Fun fact: if I had a quarter for every time Wells has been mentioned since his season one death, I wouldn’t have enough for the bus ride to the beach so I can scream into the ocean how much I miss him.)

Tugging on heartstrings doesn’t seem to work on Jaha anymore, since all his strings have been cut. He doesn’t even remember Wells, his own son, until ALIE reminds him. This is the final straw for Abigail, who snatches up Jaha’s bag of tricks and refuses to give it back until they’ve been tested. Jaha is distressed by this, but ALIE isn’t, since they have the help of — JACKSON!! NOOOOOOOOO!!

Octavia wakes up outside the grounder village, which is being prepped for the trap that’s been set for the all-new, all-evil Bellamonty & Friends. Monroe, a side-character staple since season one, leads the group into the empty village, which is a yuuuuge mistake. Yuge. Octavia tries to warn them but to no avail; the grounders light all their building fixtures aflame, which, if you’ll recall, have all been soaked in acid sap, making the smoke toxic. Monroe is caught in the deadly flames while the others escape, with only the heroic and angelic Monty Green going back to rescue her. Of course, it’s too little too late, and we resign another potential-full female character to the fridge. Miller’s hot boyfriend asks the completely legitimate question of how the grounders knew of the attack, to which Monty’s mom places the blame squarely on Octavia, based on no evidence whatsoever. Because of course she does. Octavia, meanwhile, is getting captured and detained by Semet. Monty’s mom cackles in the distance.

The giant candle is preparing for the death of The Last Mountain Man, who it turns out is completely shredded. Lexa addresses the group as Clarke prepares to take the (what I assume to be) ceremonial vengeance knife of stabbing. However, at the last minute, she rejects it. “I don’t know if your death would bring me peace,” she says coolly, “I just know I don’t deserve it.” The Clarke Griffin I’d love to wife up so dearly is back, y’all! Titus objects, but Lexa shuts him down. Looks like Jus No Drein Jus Daun is back on after all. Lexa gives a powerful and inspiring speech to all the onlookers about how Clarke’s actions promise them a better future, and banishes Emerson from their lands. “He will live with the ghosts of those he has lost, and the knowledge that he is the last of his kind.” Clarke follows it up with one last subtle drag, and it looks like Emerson’s journey is not quite done yet.

 

Back in Arkadia, Pike and Bellamy discuss villainy things because they are villains. Pike also blames Octavia for the grounders fleeing and making the land untenable (which, you know, they’re right of course, but they have literally no evidence???), which does not sit well with Bellamy. Despite all of his (growing number of) failings, his priorities always remain with his sister. Pike believes there’s a mole in the camp, and despite neither of them being exactly brain surgeons, they figure out rather quickly that it’s Kane. Again, based on nothing. Pike asks Bellamy to get him proof of Kane’s betrayal, and I take another shot.

We get one last scene before cutting out, and that’s Murphy in some sort of torture apparatus, being questioned by Titus. At this point I am convinced that Richard Harmon’s contract requires him to be covered in blood over 40 percent of the time. He insists that he’s told Titus all he knows about Clarke and Skaikru, but that’s not what interests Titus anymore. Now he’s all about the crazy infinity chips, which Raven and Jaha are also discussing (or rather their lack thereof). Raven’s problem is significantly larger, though: ALIE’s programming is nowhere to be found on their computers. ALIE was apparently mistaken in thinking Becca’s station was one of the twelve stations that comprised the Ark; but all hope is not lost. According to Jaha, there were originally more than twelve stations in space, but one was destroyed. A thirteenth station, called Polaris. The final shot is of a pod similar to the one Raven used to escape the Ark in S1, only with two letters scrubbed out, so that the only word that remains is POLIS.

The plot thickens.

Damn, guys. I don’t even know what to say. Are my favorite minor characters getting more to do this season? Yes. Does that infuse me with life and hope and happiness and joy? Yes. But at what cost, my friends? This episode’s RIPs include Monroe, Jackson’s soul, Bellamy’s character development, and any trace of happiness I had when we found out Monty’s mom was still alive. Is it worth it, just so I can see more of Miller and his hot boyfriend doing hot things?

…Yeah, it actually is. RIP though, Monroe. We’ll always remember all four of your lines (again, no shade).

 

The 100 airs Thursdays at 9/8c on The CW.