Recap: TEEN WOLF Is Back with Poison! And Burning!
Episode 511 “The Last Chimera”
So you know how sometimes you have that friend who can’t help but tell you all the great things about the TV show that he watches?
He’s always talking about how nuanced the characters are and how great the plot is and how you JUST HAVE TO WATCH IT!!
And so you decide that you’re going to take a chance and flip over to see what all the fuss is about, and it’s the eight episode of season 3 of Lost and you are… well… yeah.
You have no idea what’s going on or who any of the characters are or why they’re doing what they’re doing so you just kind of sit there dumb founded, waiting for some sort of familiar jumping in point until the hour is over? Well, this is how the first episode of season 5B… erm… be. This is not a place for new people to start. And unfortunately I have the great joy of recapping this episode for you for the first time on SciFi4Me.
Let’s jump in, shall we?
It’s about 5 seconds after the season 5A finale. Scotty is still reeling from his fight with Liam (with like, a gaping bloody hole in his chest and everything). Stiles is still pissed at Scotty for believing Theo over him (Stiles kinda sorta accidentally murdered someone in self-defense in 5A and Theo told Scotty it was a rage murder and not a self-defense murder). Sheriff Stilinski is on his way to the hospital from being attacked by a chimera. Malia has left for parts unknown. Kira has gone off to New York? I think it was New York. I’ll have to check Wikipedia. But I’m too lazy to do that right now. And Melissa McCall is busy ruling the whole world with an iron fist of amazing momness.
Oh, did I mention that Lydia has been basically mind raped by Theo and is now in a vegetative state standing out in the middle of the woods? Because that happened. And she is. Also Theo took some green goo and brought a bunch of chimeras back to life to act as his pack and they’re all running wild all over the place.
The framing device of Lydia telling her psychiatrist (who used to be a patient at the mental hospital where he now works and also used to have an eyeball in the middle of his forehead) all of the things that happened while she’s in a hypnotic state is still there so we get to see Lydia lying on a bed sweating and kind of covered in blood (still from Theo’s mind raping and also from her new Doctor drilling a hole into her skull for all her memories to pour out of. Life sucks for Lydia right now, you guys) talking to a British guy for a little bit, then we jump back into the action everybody is really concerned that Sheriff Stilinski is about to die.
So Scotty and Stiles go on a quest to find the chimera that poisoned Sheriff Stilinski so they can cure him… Even though they’re super pissed at each other… But they’re brothers and sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do.
Meanwhile, Melissa McCall is doing everything she can to keep Sheriff Stilinski alive while the doctor that has been training him stands out in the hall and basically screamed “What’s happening here! Are the supernatural creatures in this town? Why won’t you tell me anything?” And Melissa McCall is all like “I could tell you some s*** that would curl your toes! But I’m not going to because I’m classy!”
Oh, and Liam and his gay best friend Mason or on a quest to try and find Hayden who was Liam’s love interest / girlfriend / girl that hated him in season 5A. She was converted into a chimera and then died only to be brought back to life by Theo and so they’re looking for her while she kind of snoops around in the background and watches without actually saying anything to them. Liam and Mason figure out how to find the magical tree stump and walk up on it, and all the dead bodies surrounding it, just about the time Hayden shows up with a bunch of sheriff’s deputies.
It must suck to get caught out by a tree stump covered in dead bodies by your girlfriend and her sister who is a cop.
Just saying.
In the end, Stiles and Scotty — with the help of Malia — find the chimera who poisoned Sheriff Stilinski just in time to save his life. Unfortunately, the chimera is killed by the Dread Doctors. But that’s okay; he was just a worthless twink day player anyway.
So the end, we get back to Lydia in her bloody sweaty hospital room telling the psychiatrist all these things as Theo’s pack of chimeras (minus Hayden, which means…?) breaks into the looney bin where she’s being held and comes to get her! Who’s there to save the day?
Sexy Deputy Parrish!
All naked!
And on fire!
Like hellhounds do!
DUN-DUN-DUNNNNNN!!