DRACULA: See No Evil, Speak No Evil

Episode 103 “Goblin Merchant Men”

[photos: David Lukacs/NBC]

OK, so Grayson has Sir Clive’s pad, is still sleeping with Lady Jayne but thinks of Mina as he does it so make of that what you will. And we have two gay lovers in Stephen Laurent and Daniel Davenport. And Mina ditched Jonathan after he basically told her to “get in the kitchen and bake me a pie.” So, here we go, now that we’re all up to speed.

We open in Romania with old bloody Dracula fighting a bunch of people. The Order of the Dragon are torturing him. There’s a lot of blood and begging from Dracula who suddenly has a vision of his wife Llona. He breaks his chains because he’s Dracula and you can’t hold him down.

Now, we’re back in present day 1896. Dracula tells Renfield of his suspicions regarding Lady Jayne. Turns out he’s a great piano player too, which surprises Renfield. After Renfield supplies him with the British Imperial Coolant Company, he goes with Harker to meet an employee only to be met with sass with a hint of racism.  Harker defends him, hurting Renfield’s pride. Renfield wastes no time shutting that business down and telling Harker to do his job.

By the way, shirtless Dracula! Thank you, NBC!

Loving the humor this episode. Harker’s having a ball helping Grayson fulfill his revenge with the upper crust society. Also loving Laurent with young Davenport. (Even though it won’t last.)

The bromance is still on with Van Helsing and Dracula as the latter is impatient with the progress of his solar vaccine. (Is that the best name they could come up with?!) Anyway….

Back to Laurent who’s being punished by the members of the Order of the Dragon by having a blade inserted into his chest spilling some crazy blood. Man, if Dracula were there, he’d have a field day with that blood! Another one bites the dust.

Back to the young aristocrats. We pick up with Mina and Lucy. (Who still looks like Keira Knightley, by the way.)  Mina gets more interesting by hanging out with Lucy in a seedy club with a very Dirty Dancing vibe. In the middle of the day. On absinthe. A new hot guy, (not too hot though), shows up to bring down our precious flower but she’s not falling for it. Uh oh. Just as it seems he’s gonna have his way with her, Dracula appears, using a considerable amount of restraint in removing the peasant, saving his beloved Mina. Or Llona.

Cue the romantic yet still oddly boring encounter between the white knight and his princess. There’s some chiding, and leaning in until Lucy interrupts…nothing. I guess we’re supposed to feel the tension but I still don’t. Lucy’s presence was not needed. What we do need is to get her a juicy storyline quick. Right now, she’s just marveling at Mina and sleeping next to her which isn’t weird at all.

On to Harker and Dracula/Grayson as they discuss his women troubles. Jonathan is forthcoming with information about Mina and how he treated her. That prompts Grayson to scoff at his foolish behavior, pretty much telling him to get it together. Mina is still struggling at school and I still don’t care. Van Helsing is worried she’s a lost cause. She’s still deluding herself into thinking she can be a surgeon. He appoints her his assistant.

Back to my favorite couple, Grayson/Dracula and Lady Jayne. They have sex yet again but now the stupid seers are watching.. It’s all very not hot yet Dracula and Lady Jayne do try their hardest.  The seers are poisoned by Van Helsing and he takes that opportunity while they’re paralyzed to let them in on his tragic backstory. He goes over losing his entire family to the Order of the Dragon. Then, he brings out a hammer and he’s not hanging up a painting. Nope. He’s gonna bash their heads in.

Back to my least favorite couple, Mina and Jonathan. They’re back together. There’s a lot of fog. A marriage proposal from Mina solidifies the whole affair. The only thing interesting about Mina this episode was her gorgeous hair that seemed a lot fuller than last. (Also a bit too modern, no?) Dracula is sad but hopeful. Renfield says he knows Dracula pushed Jonathan and Mina back together in order to keep her close. Dracula is surprised at how astute he is. And the bromance is strong with these two. Rivaling the one with Van Helsing. I like how Renfield is so in charge and that he’s never put down by Dracula. It’s like they’re equals. It’s refreshing.

Back to Lady Jayne who discovers the seer’s bodies. No one’s ever “tracked the trackers.” She is convinced of Dracula’s betrayal and prepares for the battle.

That leads us to Sad Daniel Davenport. He mourns Laurent in his room and readies to kill himself. Daddy Davenport finds Danny Boy after the suicide with the smoking gun at his side. There’s also a letter accusing Grayson of having a hand in the act.

So, that sucks. I was kind of excited about this storyline. Now, I have to settle for Lucy’s misguided girl crush on Mina. Not as fun for me. Well, that does it for this week. Join me next time as we’re sure to learn more about Jonathan and Mina’s impending nuptials and how Dracula deals with it in addition to Daddy Davenport being out for… REVENGE!

Until then, bite me.

[Show Web Site at NBC]     [Previous Recap: “A Whiff of Sulfur”]

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