BEAUTY & THE BEAST: Always a Bridesmaid…

Episode 109: “Bridesmaid Up!”

THERE ARE SPOILERS AHEAD!

[Photos: Ben Mark Holzberg/The CW]

I’ve realized it’s perhaps been a while since I’ve done much more than provide an overview of the show in these weekly recaps, so I thought this time, I’d shake things up a little. No getting stodgy over here! As a quasi-fan of Freud, free association has free rein here.  Some of my thoughts pertain to this week’s episode; some are just general musings that I haven’t yet been able to weave into previous recaps.

• Every week, I notice and appreciate the different camera shots of New York City shot from helicopter. As a southern gal who’s only been to NYC a handful of times, I couldn’t tell you what is depicted in the overhead shots each time, but I love how the camera man caresses the city. Those shots are more tender than my backside would have been after a post-sass recalibration session with my daddy back in my youth.
• This week’s investigation on B&TB was less interesting than last week’s investigation, which proves that it’s ultimately the characters that make the show. I wish that the writers were more even in this aspect.
•  Is it just me, or does Vincent look like he has a different hair cut every week?  In past weeks, he’s had something vaguely EMO-esque, and other weeks, the effect has been more [insert vaguely insulting reference that would PO somebody]. However, I really liked what Vincent had going on this week, hair-wise. Someone with skills put some effort into the cut. And yes, hair matters, at least if you’re in television, fashion, business or escorting.

• While we’re on the subject of hair…Brooke Chandler, Cat’s new stepmother after this episode, is lovely. However, if I were a bride getting married for the first time (or even second or third time), I think I’d have made a trip to my stylist to get something done about my roots for my special day.
• What did Kristin Kreuk do to piss off the costume designers this episode?  Normally, I love Kristin Kreuk’s wardrobe, but she ended up wearing this red smock with navy blue or black pattern for most of the episode, and it looked like something my grandmother would wear. It was way too billowy for Kristin’s petite frame. I’m grateful that the designers redeemed themselves with the bridesmaids’ dresses.
• One of the bridesmaids complained about how hard it is to match silver shoes. Um, silver is considered a neutral, so I don’t see what the issue is. Not only that, I can’t remember a wedding I’ve been in where all the little maids were required to wear the same shoe. Whatever. All the characters deferred and decided to go with nude Louboutins, which were lovely, but retail at about $850. Neither Heather nor Kristin can be pulling in thick bank. How do they manage with the high-end apartment and high-end duds?  Seriously, I would love to know, because mama would like to have a pair of nude Louboutins without cutting into the mortgage or food budget.
• Cat spends most of the episode feeling pressured to have a man in her life. I’m not saying that everyone out there in real society expects that of women, but it certainly exists. I felt unhappy and uncomfortable during the “you must have a man” scenes, and I wonder how many women today still feel this pressure either internally or externally.
• Tess mentions that she took boss Joe Bishop to her brother’s wedding when Joe’s wife was out of town. WHAT!?  First, I guess I never noticed that Joe is married. Hey, I’m not busy scanning men’s ring fingers to see if they’re available or not. I wonder…as a wife, would I be ok with my husband taking one of his direct reports to a wedding, especially if my husband’s date were Diversity Barbie?  Result of said wondering:  no, I probably wouldn’t like it. I mentioned back in my recap for “Saturn Returns” that something was going on with Tess and Joe Bishop. I liked the idea of it more before I found out he’s married. I’m trying not to be judgmental, but the reality is that I sorta think Diversity Barbie needs to stay out of the Bishop relationship until such time as Bishop is a free man. Call me quaint.
• As Vincent and Cat joke initially about Vincent going to the wedding, Vincent muses it might not be a good idea, especially with the reception: “They might run out of pigs in a blanket and…rawr!”  The ‘rawr’ was executed with appropriate sound effects and gesticulations. That scene was so adorable after so many serious and heart-wrenching conversations about Vincent’s no-good horrible “condition.”
• Evan has Tess review a day’s worth of surveillance footage from around the precinct to catch a glimpse of fake intern J.T.’s entrance into the precinct. Tess IDs J.T., and a police sketch artist makes a convincing sketch of him; nope, not good. But nobody noticed that Catherine got into and out of the same car that J.T. did, just a few minutes before J.T. entered the building?  Uh, do much detecting around those parts?
• When Vincent and Catherine first talked about Vincent going to the wedding, it’s clear Vincent actually wants to go but recognizes the obstacles. He also, however, recognizes that he feels better and black-out free. So he wants J.T. to test his beast reaction by punching him. J.T. reasonably declines, so Vincent begins to taunt him, and this, my friends, is where the good times begin. The dialogue where Vincent tries to taunt J.T. into a punch is priceless. Vincent: “[Your girlfriend] is hot…maybe I’ll sleep with her, too. “  J.T. “Too?”  Vincent: “Your prom date, Jill McManahan?  She was spectacular.”  J.T.: “Nice try.”  Delivery was great here. Good work, guys, très amusing.
• Vincent wants to go to the wedding, as mentioned, but it’s more than that. He is angling to go to the wedding in just about every scene he’s in this episode. After many scenes of trying to talk Cat into it, Vincent finally acquiesces to the potential danger and suggests J.T. instead as Cat’s date instead, until…
• Our favorite stalker Vincent reads the Cat’s profile for the matchmaking service, and realizes Cat’s descriptions of the perfect man and date are about him. Well, duh. Other than the minor alternate personality inconvenience, Vincent is sweet, funny, concerned about others, always conveniently available during a crisis, and has a body built for sin. What more could a girl ask for?

• Based on Cat’s questionnaire responses and her obvious into-him-ness, Vincent shows at the wedding. Catherine feels him staring at her from outside out on the patio through gauzy curtains. Vincent steps through the door, and oh my Bacchus, the man is even hotter than last week when he was shirtless. When did I buy into this guy?  I’ve certainly been drawn in gradually, but the producers put the final nail in the coffin for me but putting the man in a suit. A well-built man in a suit is a gift to womanity.

• When Vincent and Catherine dance and intensely gaze into each other’s eyes for an eternity, my reaction was “Wow. Wow.”  I was definitely not thinking any ten-dollar words, and I might have had a bona fide giddy moment. But honestly, no one in the entire room of friends and family, who until now have been like ducks on June bugs on Catherine singlehood…no one notices this incredibly intimate moment in plain view of the entire room?
• Cat and Evan have a conversation at the wedding which reveals that Evan’s studies on Vincent’s DNA indicate the DNA is becoming more animal-like. So what does what mean for our beleaguered lovers who still aren’t officially lovers?

• Speaking of, even my eleven year old daughter who’s been watching with the series with me said to Vincent this week as he prepared to depart the wedding, “You really should kiss her, dude.”  Seriously. You’re giving us all a complex. In my experience, if a man won’t kiss you, he’s either broken or gay. For the record, I’m not saying that the ‘broken’ and ‘gay’ are synonymous.

• I’m glad the writers worked it out that Vincent had to leave before Cat, because of my assertion last week that it’s impossible for a guy who’s into a girl to go to a wedding with her and not fool around afterwards. The orchestration of events this episode made that logistically impossible. Thanks for giving me an out without making me look stupid(er), writers and producers of B&TB.
• Cat got shot, as in GSW, thanks to our criminal of the week. Vincent is understandably upset (although why he’s in the vicinity is questionable, as usual). He transforms into his alter-ego and rips Cat out of her car, but then just stands in the middle of the road holding her in his arms. Evan and Heather drive up on the scene of the wrecked car as Beast mulls about with a passed-out Catherine bleeding in his arms. Guess the Beast’s out of the bag.

B&TB picks back up again on January 24^th after the mid-season break. Join me again shortly thereafter, whether you wear Louboutins or not, whether you’re Team Vincent or Team Evan, and whether you think Heather is a dingbat or not. And regardless of your faith, conviction, policy or creed, the happiest of holidays to you all!

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[Official Show on CW]   [Previous Recap: “Trapped”]