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THE WALKING DEAD: Waking Up On The SLAB

Timothy Harvey 908 Views 0 Comments ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  ,  , 

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Season 5, Episode 4 “Slabtown”

Dustin: We’re watching Once Upon a Time again. Why are we doing this to ourselves?

Timothy: Yes we are, and I don’t know. Robert Carlyle is a good actor though.

Curtis: Is this that Cinderella show?

Dustin: Yes. It should be the Regina show, but no, everyone is horrible to Regina.

Curtis: Robert Carlyle is a really good actor.

Timothy: This episode was directed by MARIO VAN PEEBLES?!? What world are we living in?

Dustin: I don’t know. I just don’t know.

Curtis: Aren’t we supposed to be watching a show about zombies? I wanna see zombies. And goblins. ZOMBIE GOBLINS!!

Dustin: Don’t worry, they’re a’coming.

Timothy: I think zombie goblins might be a little too much awesome for AMC to bring us. Glad you’re back, Curtis, glad you’re back.

Glad to be back. Where’s Anne-Marie?

Sick. You’re on Twitter duty tonight.

Cool.

Are we ready?

Aren’t you forgetting something?

No. No I am not.

No predictions? Really? You’re going to break all the hearts of the readers.

Tim, do not make me beat you to death with my brand new laptop. Because I don’t wanna do that.

Fair enough. Ahem. As you can see, Curtis Smith has returned to Team Zombie, and shall be a’twittering for us this evening, as Dustin Adair and I bring you our weekly journey into AMC’s The Walking Dead. As always, there is much that is spoilery, questionable, and somewhat not safe for kiddos, so you have been warned.

Somewhat?

RECAP!!

BETH!! In a bed a-sleeping. The clock on the wall says… electricity? The window outside says…. bad times. Looks like we’re back in Atlanta, you guys.

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Beige. I think I’ll paint the ceiling beige.

Because everything in The Walking Dead universe is right down the street from everything else. Sigh.

Beth bangs on a door. Sing a song, Beth, that’ll help. As someone comes to unlock the door, Beth pulls out her own IV to use as a weapon if she needs to.

But that someone is a lady cop who immediately tells her to drop the needle. Beth does. Beth was saved by cops!! This may be worse than Terminus, you guys.

Yeeeeaaaaahhhh. This is a little too…

The lady cop (Dawn) says they she saved Beth, now she owes them.

…and there it is. This bodes not well.

The Doctor takes Beth to see some patient that is dying. The Doc puts the poor guy out of his misery. Hey!! It’s Beth’s job is to dump dead bodies down the elevator shaft. Classy. There is a guy down the hall mopping, Beth looks at him and he wanders off.

Well, I’m guessing this place stinks to high heaven, what with all the decomposing bodies just a couple floors underneath them. Yech.

There are all sorts of people in the hospital. Mainly girls… hrm…

So what is this, some harem thing? This is going to be so messed up.

In the canteen, Beth is about to get her grub on. An officer comes up to her and introduces himself as Gorman, the officer that brought her to the hospital in the first place. Gorman is a total jerk; he offers to not count all her food if she is nice to him… Beth does not take any food.

Yeah, as “rescues” go, this one is shaping up to be the exact opposite of what one hopes for when being rescued.

So Beth meets another guy, his name is Noah, and he’s a cute young black guy who is age appropriate to Beth…. Off in the church, Gabe suddenly feels a little sick to his stomach.

Heh. “But… but… I just got here!”

There is a beautiful painting in Doc’s office. It’s a Caravaggio and Tim is super impressed. They talk about records and how the Doc eats guinea pigs now.

Well, it’s a pretty amazing painting, and my art history background is showing. I also think it’s going to be a symbol of all that is awful in this awful place and will not survive the episode.

Beth is super popular in this place, you guys, and you can tell Beth does not like it.

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I’m more of a darker earth tones guy myself.

Then we spend a couple of minutes talking about art as a metaphor. Beth talks about how she still sings. Be careful, Doc, there is no better way to get stuck in a one person audience for one of Beth’s Gentle Band concerts than to show an interest in art.

Dawn comes in and says they found a new guy; he apparently fell off some sort of roof. Doc says he can’t be saved, but Dawn is insistent. The Doc tells Dawn that the guy is gonna die and so Dawn slaps Beth because… okay.

What, is Beth the Doc’s pet or something? And clearly this system is screwed up.

Later, the Doc cleans Beth up, and she finds a sucker in her scrubs.

A woman is brought in with a bite. She apparently tried to escape the hospital but didn’t… make it… to far? Anyway she is prepped for an arm-cuttin’-ectomy. She doesn’t want it and she doesn’t want to go back to Gorman. But they cut her arm off anyway. Beth has to hold her down while they do it.

So she’d rather die than go back to Gorman or this place in general. Nice place you got here folks.

Beth and Noah flirt a little bit. Of course he gave her the lollypop. He tells her how he came to stay at the hospital. It’s a super sad story about father murderin’ and slave labor. If you are brought in by the cops to help you, then you have to work off that help, but of course you never can. Oh, and apparently sometimes the lady prisoners are used as sex slaves. NBD.

So apparently every place where people are attempting to hold onto anything resembling pre-Zombpocolypse is a nightmare. Well, that sucks.

It’s kind of a terrible place. Stick with Beth, Noah. Daryl and Carol are coming for her and she’s your best ticket out.

Noah is kind of cute, but he’s totally gonna die.

I don’t know… he’s so obviously zombie-bait, it may be a fake out. Of course, we did just have the “Hi! I’m Bob and I’m going to die!” show, so yeah, he’s gonna die.

Beth is doing something in one of the storage rooms, Dawn brings Beth some food but Beth says she doesn’t want to stay any longer than she has to.

Now. Leaving now would be the right time.

Dawn is trying to be nice, they talk about what you need as opposed to what you wants. Dawn is all: We are saving lives and that has a cost.

She’s basically a less cannibally version of Gareth.

Oh!! And Dawn thinks someone is going to come and save them!! The look on Beth’s face basically says: You are @#$%ing stupid. Finally, Dawn tells Beth she has to eat so she can be stronger and do more work and maybe be able to leave someday.

Alrighty then! How long has it been since the Zombpocolypse? And Dawn thinks someone is going to come save them? Run Beth. Run now.

I think I like Dawn right now, I feel like her heart is in the right place, or as right as it can be for running a slave labor camp/sex slavery ring.

I’m sure she’s gonna be terrible later, but right now, I think she’s doing her best.

Oh no, she’s terrible now. Look, this whole “we saved you, so you owe us” thing is insane… it just can’t work without Dawn and the others in charge knowing it’s a losing game for the people they “save”. And its structure doesn’t work either. Either they don’t have enough resources for the people they have or they do. If they don’t, then bringing in new people makes no sense, and if they do, then this whole work-for-rescue thing is such an artificial structure that it should have collapsed by now.

Later, Beth is mopping up the blood of the girl whose arm was cut off. She is humming to herself and the girl tells her she likes the sound of her singing. Watch yourself, lady, that’s another good way to get a full Gentle Band concert.

I’m kind of surprised we haven’t had more singing, actually.

The armless wonder calls Dawn a coward. There’s a lot going on here. I would like to know more about this place and how it operated for the last couple of years.

Poorly. The word you’re looking for is poorly.

Beth is in her room cleaning, when she goes to her bed to look for something. Suddenly, Gorman is in her room with her. He asks her if she’s looking for her lollypop. He pulls it out of his pocket and starts sucking on that @#$% right in front of her. He is super creepy. I can’t wait for someone to kill the @#$% out of him. He puts the sucker in Beth’s mouth.

Oh, my God, it’s so creepy.

Doc comes in and tells Gorman to leave Beth alone. The two of them have a little bit of a dick measuring contest. Finally Gorman leaves.

Yeah, I don’t think I’d want some creepy, rapey guy on my team. HOW DOES ANYONE THINK THIS IS A GOOD PLAN?

Beth asks why Doc is still sticking around and he basically says he has nowhere else he has to go. Then he takes her down to the first floor of the hospital and bangs on a gate. The whole place fill with walkers. He tells her there is no way out. The walkers have them completely pinned in.

And yet they regularly go out and “rescue” people. So that makes no sense at all. In fact, how do they leave the hospital at all if the ground floor is covered in walkers? Underground parking garage, maybe?

Then up to the roof. Doc tells her the story of how the city fell and they were trapped and everyone who evacuated died. They had to scavenge for food and other survivors. He tells a story about how there was a kid who had been burned and he was the first slave. After a while, things started going downhill and Dawn took over leadership, but it as just a matter of time until the other shoe drops.

He echoes what Beth said about how they are not the type of people who are supposed to survive this sort of thing. The he tells her to go check on a patient. He tells her to give him a certain drug.

She goes into his room and mixes the drug. Noah shows up and they chat for a minute as she injects the drug. Suddenly, the guy seizes and dies.

Dawn questions them and Noah says he was the one who accidentally killed the guy.

So… Noah gets his ass beat.

Hey Noah? Very noble. Stupid, yes, but noble.

Beth cries. She tells Doc that she gave him the drug he told her to administer, but then he had a seizure and died. Doc tries to convince her that she gave him the wrong drug.

So, does anyone believe this guy? Anyone?

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I prefer dark blues and black. It’s slimming.

Dawn comes to Beth’s room and tells her she knows that it was Beth that killed the patient, and not Noah. And Beth is all like: Then why the hell did you let the other cops beat him!?!

And so no, no one believes the doctor. Right. This place should have been overrun ages ago. 

Dawn tells Beth that she isn’t strong. Beth says she’s strong and explains to her how the sex slavery situation is wrong. Dawn is just a different version of Gareth and I love it. I LOVE IT.

Dawn really is crazy, and I mean severly-detached-from-reality-crazy if she really thinks this little world of hers is actually working. I was going to say delusional, but I’m thinking she snapped a looooong time ago. And none of this should be making this place functional. This episode is killing me.

The cop calls Beth out on her suicide attempt. I just love it when this show calls itself out on how terrible Season 2 was.

Why didn’t Beth just tell her how old those scars are? She’s just staring at Dawn and not saying anything. SAY THE WORDS BETH.

Noah is fine, you guys. Beth is super sorry that he had to get his ass beat for her. Beth tells Noah she is going with him when he leaves. It’s a prison break now!! With 20 minutes to go!!!

Noah tells Beth to go find the keys to the elevator banks that are hidden somewhere in Dawn’s office. Noah keeps Dawn distracted while she goes to look.

While Beth makes the universal face for “Hey! I’m going to do something I’m not supposed to.” Sigh.

In Dawn’s office, Beth looks all over and finds… some dude’s wallet. And the dead body of that girl who’s arm got cut off. Apparently, she went into Dawn’s office and killed herself so she could turn and eat off her face. Which is a solid revenge plan, I guess… if you don’t mind being dead when it’s all said and done.

One: Why would the key to the elevator be in a file cabinet? Beth? Stop looking in places people don’t put things. Two: Yeah, so things are so awful here that this girl would rather become a zombie than stay. Way to go, Dawn.

Beth finds the keys just in time for Gorman to come in and be super creepy. He’s basically gonna rape Beth in Dawn’s office.

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I so admire your artistic sensibilities.

The Armless reanimates and bites Gorman in his fool neck. Beth takes his gun and gets the hell out of Dodge.

I am taking the episode to Iowa and gay marrying it.

OK. This scene I’m happy with. Make sure you let me know the wedding date, and get me a copy of your gift list.

Beth walks down the hall like nothing happened. She passes Dawn in the hall and tells her that Gorman and Armless are waiting for her in her office.

Beth just sent that bitch to her office to be eaten.

TO BE EATEN!!

And this. This I like.

Screaming as Beth and Noah go to the elevators. So the plan is to lower themselves down to the ground floor and then get out. Which I don’t know if this is the best plan, I mean, don’t the cops have a way out to go on raids? Is this the best of all available escape routes? And what about that wallet? Whose license was that? There is so little show left and so many unanswered questions!!

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I’m more of an abstract artist myself. Found objects and the like.

Beth is lowered down with few mishaps, but Noah is attacked by a walker and ends up falling down the shaft. But he’s fine. They both get out of the elevator shaft and head down the dark hall.

Yeah, I don’t think fine is the right word. Banged up and zombie-bait maybe. And again, shouldn’t this place stink beyond belief? And be a mass of just zombie-goo?

Noah is grabbed by a walker and falls. Beth has to start shooting. They are so lucky Beth is a smart cookie.

I love that this whole scene seems to be lit by a flashlight, with the walkers coming out of the darkness and the muzzle flashes. Finally, they make it out into the sun!

This, too. OK, there are some joys to find here.

Beth is ahead, and there are walkers everywhere.

Aaaaand Beth has turned into the most amazing shot. Wow. When did this happen?

Suddenly, there are cops all around them and Beth is tackled to the ground. Noah gets to the other side of the fence and escapes. Beth seems fine with that.

Because she’s a genuinely nice person. Oh, Beth.

Back inside, Dawn is all like: What did you do? Beth is like: Rapists get eaten on my watch, bitch. Then Beth tells Dawn that no one is coming to save them from the walkers. At first Dawn is all: What have I become?

Aaaaaaannnndddd…

Then she slaps Beth in her whole head.

… there we go.

There is music. Beth is fine, a couple more scars, but Doc is sewing her back up. Beth asks the Doc why he had her kill the guy. Apparently Beth figured out the guy she gave the wrong meds to was another doctor. And, of course, that’s why Doc had him killed. Because another doctor would make Doc obsolete. So… murder.

OK. That make no sense at all. Why would you only want one doctor when you can have two? I mean, sure, this whole place is run on the stupidest of plans, but still. Why are these people so stupid?

Beth will look super-hot with all these new scars, you guys.

Beth is gonna rain fire down from on high.

Carol is wheeled in.

I am so happy.

Well, I’m glad you are. Aside from some good moments, this was kinda terrible if you think about any of it for more than a minute. And you left something out.

Oh?

Yeah… before Carol is wheeled in, we see Beth palming a scalpel. Who is she going to use it on?

Options. A girl likes to have options.

She does have several. Crazy Cop Lady and Pathetic Killer Doctor on the top of the dance card, I’m thinking.

But Carol is here now, and you know that she’s here because Daryl and Carol found Noah, and this is a rescue mission, and all these assholes are going to die.

But not next week. Next week is the Amazing Adventures of Eugene, Saviour of Humanity.

I think I’m going to be sick next week and miss that. Cough. Cough. Yep. Coming down with the sickness. I can feel it.

Nope! You’re going to have to suffer through it with the rest of us. I’ll bring cough drops.

You’re a monster.

And that’s this week’s episode! As always, thanks for reading. Curtis, welcome back, and hopefully Anne-Marie will be back with us next week, because we all know how much she loves Eugene.

When you say “love”, you really mean “hopes dies in a fire”, right?

We can only hope.

[Show site at AMC]    [Previous recap: “Four Walls and a Roof”]

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Timothy Harvey

Timothy Harvey is a Kansas City based writer, director, actor and editor, with something of a passion for film noir movies. He was the art director for the horror films American Maniacs, Blood of Me, and the pilot for the science fiction series Paradox City. His own short films include the Noir Trilogy, 9 1/2 Years, The Statement of Randolph Carter - adapted for the screen by Jason Hunt - and the music video for IAMEVE’s Temptress. He’s a former President and board member for the Independent Filmmakers Coalition of Kansas City, and has served on the board of Film Society KC.

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