THE WALKING DEAD: Harvey & Adair & THEM

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Season 5, Episode 10 “Them”

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Dustin: The Saturday Night Live 40th Anniversary is on tonight.

Timothy: I know.

Dustin: And we have to watch The Walking Dead.

Timothy: Yessss, I know.

Dustin: Grumble.

Timothy: Wait. Did… did you just SAY ‘grumble’?

Dustin: GRUMBLE, TIM, GRUMBLE!!!

Curtis: What if we recapped the SNL 40 instead?

Timothy: You know we can’t.

Dustin: Why not?

Timothy: Because the people are expecting The Walking Dead.

Dustin: GRUMBLE!!

Curtis: Yeah, Tim, Grumble.

{The Ghost of Anne-Marie appears with a guitar}

Anne-Marie: Just watch Saturday Night Live. It’s okay to let go, Tim. It’s okay.

{Anne-Marie begins to strum the guitar}

Timothy: Stop it.

{The Ghost of Anne-Marie gives everyone The Look and promptly vanishes.}

Dustin: Fine.

Timothy: Yeah, yeah. You’ll get over it. Ladies and Gentlemen, despite attempts to the contrary, this is our review of AMC’s The Walking Dead. As always, Mr. Pouty-Face over there…

Dustin: Hey!

Timothy: … otherwise known as Mr. Adair, will be providing the recap whilst I provide some commentary on the show and criticism of his typing skills.

Dustin: Hey!

Timothy: Joining us as well is Mr. Smith…

Curtis: Hi there!

Timothy: … who braves the wilds of the Twitterverse for us. As always, like the show we are reviewing, the following contains much that is adult in nature, questionable in logic, and, for those who know the three of us, is clearly written by guys who have no idea how actual people behave.

Also, there are SPOILERS.

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Curtis: Oh! And I have predictions!

Timothy: Well, since Dustin has dropped the ball there…

Dustin: HEY!!!

Timothy: … by all means sir, please proceed.

Dustin: Grumble.

You know, I think you’re better at this than Dustin.

I hate you so much.

RECAP!!!

A walker walks up to Maggie and she basically pities it to death. Then she cries.

It’s so… “Fine. I’ll kill you, but only because it offer a momentary respite from the ennui.”

Daryl digs in the dirt and eats a worm.

Well, they are high in protein.

Sasha follows a dead river bank looking for water and only finds dead frogs.

No one talks.

Have you noticed how much we like this show when no one is talking? Were we really that traumatized by the Season of The Monologue? I think we were.

Snark aside, one thing this show does do really well is use silence.

Back on the road they walk back to the van where the rest of the gang is waiting. No one has found any food. They are going somewhere 6 miles away, but where? Does it even matter? What is life, Tim?

It’s a cereal. And a game. See Maggie’s ennui, above. And hmmm. Six miles from somewhere, so about and hour and a half, two on foot. Surrounded by a forest, and all the trees are green, and they can’t find any food or water? Is Daryl sick?

Van runs out of gas. Everyone decides it a good time to do one of those Walks to Cure Breast Cancer that yogurt that makes you poop is always throwing. But they don’t get the pink tee-shirts, so I’m not 100% sure how official it is.

I hope the poop yogurt still lets them raise money though.

Pretty sure that they aren’t going with the “Our Yogurt Makes You Poop” slogan, but it is a worthy cause, so I hope the campaign is successful as well.

A group of walkers has started following the group. Daryl wants to talk about plans for killing the walkers following them, but Rick would rather talk about Daryl’s feeeeelings. Daryl would rather talk about how Lil Ass-Kicker is getting hangry.

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Well, yeah, Rick is right, at least about the walkers. They aren’t getting any closer, the Team is exhausted, and the energy wasted by killing them is too valuable, but that said? How awkward is Rick’s “I know you lost something back there”?

Rick? “Something’s” name was Beth. Remember Beth? That little girl that everybody lost when she essentially got herself killed? Eh… it’s just a terrible line I guess.

Daryl decides to go out to look for food, and Carol wants to join him. At first he tries to stop her, but she will not be dissuaded. Don’t try to stop Carol, Daryl; she’s not afraid of you.

You know it’s gotten bad when Carol is clearly going to be the one to make you talk about how you’re feeling, don’t you Daryl?

Back on the Walk for a Cure, Carl gives Maggie a music box he found out on the road or whatever. Great Carl, just what the grieving lady needs, another thing to carry. Couldn’t have found her an anchor or a tuba?

I’d like to see that scene, actually.

“Maggie, I have found this tuba, which I give to you to soothe your pain.”

“Errr… thanks?”

It is a sweet gesture, if a touch impractical, considering that if it worked, it would make noise that would draw the undead, but yeah. Sweet gesture.

The Father Gabe starts talking to Maggie about his @#$%ing collar, this makes Maggie snark the hell up about Jesus and whatnot.

You best shut up, Gabe, Maggie will knock a mother@#$%er out. Her melee skill is high.

See, I can’t figure out what the writers are doing with Gabriel. Have we gotten one reason at all to care about this guy? One reason for Team Zombie to even bring him along? He gets them almost killed a couple of times, lets his secrets get Bob bit, essentially wrecks the potential sanctuary of the church, and now he’s trying to play minister to Maggie?

In the “real” world there are, in fact, people that clueless, I know. But again, what reason have we been given for caring about this guy?

Everyone shuffles along in front, the walkers shuffle behind them. It’s all full of symbolism that I’m sure Tim will beat to death with a stick.

Nope. Just a really cool shot. OK, maybe a touch of symbolism, in that a shot like that kinda sums up the show, actually.

Sasha wants to take the walkers, but Michonne would rather wait. Sasha wants to suicide mission the @#$% out of the walkers. Michonne tells her to stop being an idiot. Sasha is all FEEEELINGS!!

Violence as therapy. It’s actually a thing, so yeah, I get it. But again, why waste the energy?

They continue to walk. Hey, where are all the middle-aged ladies who are supposed to be along the Race for the Cure route handing out high protein snacks and little cups of water? This walk-a-thon was poorly planned.

Oh, and I just noticed. Once again, all the walkers are wearing long sleeved shirts. Yes, I know it keeps the makeup budget down, but still. In the South, everyone was wearing a long-sleeved shirt when the Zombpocholypse struck.

In the woods, Carol and Daryl are hunting.

Carol wants to start back, but first, she wants to talk about Beth and oh, God, are we about to get Norman Reedus crying face?

Carol gives him the knife that used to be Beth’s and tells him that they are not dead. And then they look at each other and I WILL SAIL THAT @#$%ING FRIENDSHIP UNTIL THE END OF @#$%ING TIME!!!

I love these two together. Carol mothers him and he allows it.

Then she walks back to the road.

It is a lovely moment, and if these two just stay friends, then all will be right with the world, even if I would like to see them be happy together as a couple. The callback to “We aren’t dead” is probably the best thing she could have said to him, because returning his words hits at the heart of his pain in a way that half-a-dozen emotional speeches never could.

At a bridge, the Walk for the Cure takes a detour to get rid of the walkers. Everyone prepares to fight off the walkers. They push the walkers off the bridge.

I like it! Minimal effort, maximum results!

Sasha gets all angry and charges the walkers. She goes a little crazy and kills all the killers who are killing. Michonne runs up to stop her and Sasha very nearly stabs her!!

Oooohhhhh… No…. Sasha and Michonne have a Strong Black Woman glare off.

I was wondering if this was where we were going, and I can see a horrible scene where Sasha’s bottled rage gets one of Team Zombie killed, either directly or in a “death-by-walker” moment. I don’t want to see it, but I can see it. And considering the body count we’ve already had this season and the presence of the bat…

They find some cars in the middle of the road. Maggie opens the trunk and finds a blonde walker tied up in the trunk. She closes the trunk and takes a step away to collect herself. When she goes back, she can’t undo the lock.

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Wait… did we just find a kidnap victim? A serial killer’s new plaything? That’s… really disturbing.

She is just about to shoot the lock, when Glenn comes up and stops her. She tells him about the walker trapped in the trunk and how she is basically having an emotional catharsis.

He opens he trunk and kills the Beth Lookalike walker without a word.

Yeah, she does have the long blonde hair, so add that to the “Oh! That’s… not a spare tire” moment. On a positive note, it’s good to see that as much as she’s hurting, Maggie feels the need to give release to the walker in the trunk, when she doesn’t need to. I mean, Serial Killer Victim Walker isn’t going anywhere, is she?

Daryl finds a dead deer in the woods and the guy with his face blown off.

This episode is bleak as @#$% you guys.

Yes, yes it is.

Road sitting.

Daryl comes out of the woods… he has found no food.

Abe drinks booze.

Which is, as Team Z clearly notes, not helpful in any way whatsoever.

Eugene says a thing. He says things cannot get worse and a BUNCH OF FERAL DOGS COME OUT OF THE WOODS.

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Thank you, Eugene.

OK, so we can’t actually blame Eugene and his terribleness for Team Zombie being attacked by wild dogs, no matter how tempting. On the other hand, correlation and causation are sometimes the same thing.

But Sasha rage kills them.

So Sasha’s Rage serves a purpose. Yay?

Then they eat them.

Like you do.

PETA walkers are PISSED, you guys.

Noah looks at a collar. Then he tells Sasha he doesn’t know if he’s gonna make it, so Sasha tells him he probably won’t make it. Then she tells him to shut the @#$% up and eat his damn dog already.

Well aside from Sasha’s lack of skill as a motivational speaker, she has a point. Noah needs to get a grip and decide if he wants to live, or at least fight to live. Considering he was, kinda – and I know that’s not really fair – a bit responsible, however tangentially, for Beth and Tyreese getting killed.

Gabe burns his priestly collar.

Which completely lacks any impact, since we have no reason to care about this guy. Sorry, but we don’t.

Maggie and Glenn talk about hope and loss and Beth and sadness. You guys, this is the worst Breast Cancer Walk, ever.

Glenn says they are fighters and they are gonna keep fighting. Until they… stop? Or whatever?

Abe offers Sasha some water but she doesn’t want it. Then they talk about how Sasha has become liability now. He tries to tell her that she is among friends and she doesn’t need to be such a bisnatch all the time, and Sasha says Abe is NOT her friend.

So Abe takes a swig from his bottle.

This seems to be an episode where the worst people to actually give advice are the ones who are compelled to give advice. And Sasha? Way to win friends and influence people.

Glenn offers Daryl some water and hope, but Daryl is not in the mood. He goes off to look for water. But in reality Daryl finds a little barn in a clearing. So he sits and looks at it while he smokes what have to be the worst cigarettes ever.

Oh @#$%, his hair is basically ‘The Rachel’ now.

Oh god… Hahahahahaha. OK, that’s funny.

He burns himself with the cigarette to see if he still feels, but apparently he doesn’t and then he finally cries that whole face cry I hate.

This scene needs more Carol, this is true. And tell me we wouldn’t be singing its praises if it was Carol holding Daryl while he cries.

There is water in the middle of the road, and no one knows what to do!! Eugene offers to drink it as quality control, but Abe knocks it out of his hands. Everyone is all freaked out and has no idea what to do, then it starts to rain.

Because random supplies sitting in the middle of the road are so trustworthy.

Also, Abe saves Eugene! Somehow I thought we’d get him saying “Go for it” but I’ll take this.

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Everyone is so happy about the rain that none of them actually pull out anything to capture the rain until Rick has to TELL them to do it. Of course, Maggie, Sasha, and Daryl are still super upset.

C’mon kids… emotions in the rain is cinematic gold! Embrace it!

And of course, it’s not just a simple rainstorm but a very dangerous thunderstorm.

They take refuge in the barn Daryl found.

Hey… where’s the house that goes with this barn? While there are exceptions, sure, generally there’s a house that goes with a barn. Shouldn’t we be looking for the house? Shouldn’t Daryl have looked for the house already?

Of course Maggie finds a stack of Bibles and a blonde walker locked in a room. This one is super old. So she kills it.

Ah, and more symbolism.

The walker had a gun and could have killed herself but she apparently chose to hope, or whatever… or at least that’s what Carol says. And who am I to question Carol?

Do not question the Carol. Even if she’s painting a kinda rosy picture here. Well, under the circumstances.

Everyone tries to sleep or doesn’t or whatever. They’re just all so beat from their Cancer Walk.

The main group sits around the fire. Carol tells Rick that Carl will be okay. Rick says Carl and Lil Ass-kicker will have it easier because they grew up in this world and then Michonne says this isn’t the world.

Aaaand we’re back to Fatalistic Rick. Damn it. And seriously folks, Michonne is right again. This doesn’t have to be the world, because people have been recovering from disasters as long as there have been people, and it’s only in these post-apocalyptic stories that everybody other than our heroes is all the awful. Listen to Michonne.

Glenn is all like: Might be.

Dammit Glenn.

Michonne is all: No, I have faith!!

Good!

Rick is like: We all have to live like this for now. Then he tells a boring ass story about his grandpa in WWII and it’s boring and terrible.

Eh. Isn’t that bad. Isn’t that good, either. Honestly, The Walking Dead, monologues aren’t your thing.

It’s all about surviving and saving actual life for another day. But of course he says “We are the Walking Dead” as a metaphor, and because Daryl never finished high school he takes umbrage with this. Ughhhh.

Daryl is all, we are here!! We’re not like them!!

And Rick is all like: Yeah, you missed my metaphor. But Daryl isn’t much for book learnin’ so he storms off.

But the actual working of the title in, and the theme the comic brought in much earlier on, was pretty good. That it really is no way to live, and after all Team Zombie has been through, this is incredibly counter-productive. I see Daryl’s response waaay different that you do. He’s just saying what he said to Carol, and what she said to him: We’re Not Dead. And Rick telling him that it’s a “safer” way to live flies in the face of that.

Daryl does some angry walking around by the doors, until he notices that there are some walkers sneaking up on the barn, attracted by the sound of the barn doors slamming together in the storm.

Ohhhhh. That’s why we don’t have a house. So we can have a banging door that draws the walkers. Gotcha.

He bears down on the door. Then Maggie comes to help. Then Sasha.

And there’s the symbolism you were talking about.

Then everyone else.

Also this.

Carl puts Judith down to go help the adults.

That… that was just stupid.

DO NOT PUT THE BABY DOWN, CARL!!

Too late.

You are an idiot.

Hey, remember when he got shot, back in Season 2? Yeah. Good times.

It is later. Maggie wakes up and looks at Judith, who is in Rick’s arms. Everyone seems fine.

No thanks to Carl.

She goes to talk to Daryl. She tells him to get some sleep. They talk about their dead. Tyreese and Beth. Everyone is super sad.

Daryl fixed the music box.

Maggie takes it over to Sasha and they go outside, where the walkers have all been impaled by falling trees! A tornado came though and took out the walkers and spared the barn. It’s like a total miracle.

You know, I thought for a minute that the whole walker attack thing was a dream sequence. After last week’s change in format, and our three damaged characters being the first to block the door, it seemed… a little on-the-nose. That and the continuity error of showing undisturbed dirt in front of the door in the morning. But nope, it was a thing that happened.

Of course, one does wonder how no one noticed that this happened in the night, considering that all the walkers being whipped up into the air and a tornado going by might have caught our heroes’ attention.

Does look cool though.

Sasha and Maggie talk about how Noah is Cousin Oliver. Maggie says Sasha will make it they will all make it! Because life is pain!! Then they are promptly eaten by walkers.

Just kidding!! They talk about how life is hard, so they decide to listen to the music box together.

Or not, because the damn thing still doesn’t work.

Heh.

Sasha and Maggie are sharing a laugh about the futility of life when a dude named Aaron approaches. He’s like: “Hi!! How are you?” He knows Rick is in charge. And that he has good news, then the music box starts working!!

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Which I take as a good sign. (And I read the comics and know that Aaron is a good guy and a lovely homosexual.)

Hello Aaron! And welcome to the friendly, outgoing, positive and upbeat Team Zombi… wait, uh… yeah. Although, under the circumstances, meeting Maggie and Sasha here is probably better than running into Rick and Abraham like he does in the comics.

OK kids, more spoilers here from the comic, and even considering the differences between the show and comic, likely the direction the show is taking. Aaron is one of the folks sent out from something called the Alexandria Safe-Zone, which bodes both good and ill for Team Zombie in the comic, and likely will on this show as well. In fact, well, things are going to get… interesting from here on out, I suspect.

And messy.

Yeah. So, aside from Rick’s speech, Daryl’s crying-face, faulty music boxes, and a general sense of grim, we got emotional renewal and the arrival of Aaron, so things actually happened.

And things will be happening next week, since not only does Team Zombie have to deal with Aaron and what he represents, and I’m sure Rick will be oh so thrilled that Aaron has been following them long enough to know their names, but we here will be dealing with The Walking Dead being broadcast at the same time as the Oscars.

Oooooh yeah. The Academy Awards are on that night. Hosted by Neil Patrick Harris this year. He’s quite entertaining you know.

Yes, he is. But we’ll be watching The Walking Dead.

And Michael Keaton is up for Best Actor. He was really good in Birdman.

Yes, yes he was. But we’ll be watching The Walking Dead.

Hey, do you guys realize that the cast of The Walking Dead is more ethnically diverse than the Oscar Nominees? Even with killing off Tyreese last episode?

You know, that’s really kinda screwed up.

Yeah, David Oyelowo was robbed.

But we’ll be watching The Walking Dead.

And flipping back and forth during the commercials.

We’ll see you kids then.

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Timothy Harvey

Timothy Harvey is a Kansas City based writer, director, actor and editor, with something of a passion for film noir movies. He was the art director for the horror films American Maniacs, Blood of Me, and the pilot for the science fiction series Paradox City. His own short films include the Noir Trilogy, 9 1/2 Years, The Statement of Randolph Carter - adapted for the screen by Jason Hunt - and the music video for IAMEVE’s Temptress. He’s a former President and board member for the Independent Filmmakers Coalition of Kansas City, and has served on the board of Film Society KC.

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