THE WALKING DEAD – Burn, Baby, Burn

Season 2, episode 13: “Beside The Dying Fire”

Timothy: What’cha doing there, sir?

Dustin: Starting my notes for The Walking Dead, Season 2.5, Episode 6.

Or episode 2.13.

WHATEVER, TIM!! Shut up!

What? That’s the actual episode number.

I will FIGHT YOU!

Well then I will poke you in the tummy the way you don’t like.

((grumble))

I thought so. Don’t you have that thing to do?

What thing?

The prognosticating? You know like you have been..?

Oh, I forgot. Thanks.

Wait. Are you saying that if I hadn’t reminded you, you would have forgotten altogether?

Yeah, thanks.

OH, GOD! IT’S ALL  MY FAULT!!!

((grumble again))

Here are my predictions for the final The Walking Dead of the season:

•    Zombies will attack the Greene Farm!

Duh.

Hush you.

•    Andrea will notice that Shane is dead; she will have her suspicions, but she will keep them to herself.
•    Carol will run around screaming… for Daryl’s help, but she will not find it.
•    The Greene Farm will be abandoned; the survivors will all pile into the RV and drive away.
•    Hershel will not be among the people in the RV.

Wait, so he’ll die?

I didn’t say that.

Don’t be a jerk.

On to the recap!

Indeed! As almost always, Mister Adair and I are joined by Mr. Curtis Smith on the Twitter, and once again Miss Anne-Marie and Mr. Mike are our studio audience on this, the final episode of the second season of AMC’s The Walking Dead.

That’s Episode 2.13 for all you kids at home.

I will fight your face!

Yeah, yeah. As always, spoilers and generally inappropriate behavior follows, c’mon, by now you all know how this works, so let’s get to it! Mr. Adair, if you please?

Zombies eat things in the city, a helicopter flies overhead, attracting the walkers they begin awalkin’ as they are wont to do.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis The largest employer of amputees in the world. @the_walking_dead @scifi4me

Can you get a few more W’s in there?

I can, but I choose not to. As they walk, they pick up more walkers until they reach the woods, where there are a crap ton of them. Anne-Marie says it looks like Woodstock.

Choose not to, huh?

I am talking here. They come to a fence, which stops them momentarily, until there are enough walkers pressing against it to break through.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis  Nice opening. Lots of zombies. Not one goblin. @the_walking_dead @scifi4me

It’s pretty damn scary, you guys.

They trudge though the bog until they hear the gunshot from Carl killing Shane’s walker and change direction, where we see Rick and Carl walking through the field. Roll the opening credits.

Everyone is sitting in the farmhouse, Daryl and Glenn get back to the house and they tell everyone that Randall was killed by Shane and Randall became a walker. Carol asks if that means that Randall was bitten after he was dead. It looks like Daryl is about to spell everything out for them, but then he… doesn’t? I don’t know.

Meanwhile, Carl and Rick are walking back to the farm when Carl asks if Rick was bitten too, and Rick says no, Rick asks when Shane was bitten and Rick says that the Walker Shane wasn’t really actual Shane and blah blah Carl blah… Carl asks what happened and Rick hems and haws while walkers approach out of the darkness. They see them and run for it.

It’s seriously awesome.

It is, but you know, when you’ve got, what, hundreds of walkers behind you, coming out of the woods, moaning and all? Don’t you think they should have noticed a little bit earlier? Ah well.

Everyone arrives on the porch in time to see the walkers approaching.

Carl and Rick can’t make it the house, so they head to the barn.

The people at the house don’t know what to do. Everyone is freaking out and they all have different ideas.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis  Time to break out the meat camo. @the_walking_dead @scifi4me #cabellas_online

Rick and Carl get into the barn and block the door as the walkers attack the barn.

Back at the house, Lori finally realizes Carl is gone.

She is the worst parent ever.

And she’s pregnant. Ye gods, the baby is doomed.

Everyone at the house picks up a gun. Hershel says he is not leaving the farm, and Daryl awesomes his agreement.
Rick and Carl are in the barn. Rick sends Carl up the ladder to the loft with instructions to drop his lighter when Rick tells him to. Rick opens the doors and draws them into the barn then climbs the ladder. Carl throws the lighter in the hay and LIGHTS THAT SH*T ON FIRE!

Team Zombie heads out to the barn to shoot the heck out of walkers and see who the hell set the damn thing on fire. Everyone drops in truck and goes to play some Zombie Duck Hunt.

Theodore is among them.

FLAMING ZOMBIE!!!

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis Zombie Q is the new BBQ. @the_walking_dead @scifi4me #kc_masterpiece

Carl and Rick are trapped in the loft of the barn with the flaming zombies.

Oh, please let us see undead burning people walking around, that would be so cool! Death by human, er walker, torch!

Meanwhile, in the house, Lori is being a terrible mother. She has looked all over (inside the house) for Carl and she can’t find him. The other useless women tell her he’s probably outside. I swear to God, you guys, that kid needs a lowjack.

You would think they would have noticed his tendency to wander away by now.

Daryl’s awesomeing around on the motorcycle, shooting zombies. Everyone realizes Rick started the fire and the find him and Carl on top of the barn. Cannon Fodder drives the RV up to the barn so that they can climb on top and escape. For some reason, Cannon Fodder opens the RV door and is immediately eaten by walkers.

Anne-Marie called it suicide by RV.

Hey kids at home? If you’re surrounded by a horde of zombies, and you’re in a vehicle with a closed door? It’s probably wise not to open it. Make a note.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis Cannon fodder @the_walking_dead @scifi4me

Commercial break. Oh, the new Prometheus trailer. Anne-Marie is 100% not interested. She says if she is forced to watch it, she will have to be rocked to sleep after. Mike says he will rock her. He’ll rock her all night long. It’s inappropriate.

Shocked. Shocked I am. And we’re back.

Everyone is driving and shooting and Tim is having a hard time suspending his disbelief.

Yeah, I’m afraid I am. I really don’t want to be, because it’s all really exciting and cool, but here’s the thing: No one is missing. Everyone is making headshots over and over, while being driven around in cars on uneven ground, and no one is missing a shot. Glenn has a shotgun for crying out loud. They’ve all become action heroes, and oh no… it’s…

Team Zombie: the new Michael Bay movie.

God help us.

Andrea and Theodore are feeling the same thing, they decide that need a new plan if they want to make a dent.

Lori and Carol decide that they need to leave, abandoning everyone. Lori is having second thoughts about abandoning Carl to an unknown fate. But Carol basically convinces her by saying “Come ON!” She and Carol get the other Greene daughters and make a run for it. The older green daughter is eaten. Daughter Fodder won’t let go for a minute, so Lori has to pull her away, which of course means they get separated from Carol. Theodore and Andrea pull up and Lori and Daughter Fodder climb into the truck as Andrea goes after Carol as everyone else piles in the truck and drives off.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis Two down. That’s like, five or six more day player zombies next season. @the_walking deas @scifi4me #screen_actors_guild

So now Andrea is on the ground with Carol and Lori, Daughter Fodder and Theodore are off in the truck. Andrea kills enough walkers to allow Carol to run off, but when she kills a large walker, it falls on top of Andrea, pinning her. Theodore sees this and thinks she is dead.

OK, I might have let this go, if we hadn’t had the Amazing Wild West Show going on, but seriously. Humans are top-heavy. If you hit one in the front of the head, say, with a bullet, it’s going to knock their head backwards. If the head is knocked backwards, the body is going to follow in which direction? Well?

Oh jeez, is this a test? Backwards?

You are correct. And what direction did the walker that Andrea shot in the head fall?

Forwards?

Yeah. Conveniently covering her up and making Theodore think she was dead. Because the writers wanted it that way, even though that wouldn’t happen. Sheesh.

Glenn and Maggie are in a crappy little sedan and they are being overwhelmed. Glenn decides that it’s time to leave the farm; Maggie is not for this, but the car is literally surrounded, so she finally drives off.

Hershel is shooting the hell out of come walkers.

Speaking of shotguns… wow! Hershel has the new infinite ammo model!

Curse you Michael Bay!

Walkers are all around him! Rick blows one away.

Carl and Rick pull Hershel away to the suburban, and they get in and drive away, but they miss Andrea, who had pulled herself out from under her big walker and runs up to the suburban just as it drives away.

Daryl watches the barn burn until he hears Carol screaming. She be running, he finds her and she jumps on his hog and they drive away.

Everyone looks super sad as they drive away.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis Where they gonna live now? @the_walking_dead @scifi4me #super_8

Did Andrea get away? I really don’t know. I hope so.

That was tense as F**K you guys.

I’m pretty sure I know how this episode is going to end.

Yeah?

You do too. Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

Noooooooo….. OK, you may be right. We’ll see.

Pretty sure. Like 80%.

Carol and Daryl are on the hog driving along and Tim will not SHUT UP about Cabin In The Woods. Yes, I get that it’s a Joss Whedon joint, but we have bigger fish to fry right now.

Oh just get on with it.

Maggie and Glenn are driving and Maggie is upset because she has abandoned her entire family. Glenn is trying to calm her down but she is not having it she is cry driving and so Glenn asks her to stop the car so he can drive. Sure, swap the woman for the Asian. Maggie cries and Glenn tries to calm her down. He finally tells her he loves her.
And that is all she needs, she now has a purpose in life. He tells her everything will be alright. They drive on.

It’s suddenly daylight by the way. Nights sure are short since the Zombie Apocalypse. Damnit, can they cram more things that don’t make sense into this part of the show? The rest of it has been so good…

Meanwhile at the highway, Rick, Hershel and Carl arrive back at the place where they left supplies for Sophia all those weeks ago. Carl wants to go back for Lori but Rick won’t let him, so he stomps away. Somebody lowjack that kid quick because he is about to disappear again.

Or one of those kid leash things, that would work.

Hershel tells him to take Carl to safety and he will wait for everyone else. Rick tells him nowhere is safe and Hershel says there has to be a safe place somewhere, and they argue about faith. “Christ promised a resurrection of the dead, I just thought he had something different in mind.” Heh.

I love that line!

Lori wants to go back to the highway, but Theodore says no that they are headed east to the coast where. They argue about what is the right course of action for a minute, but Lori convinces him to go back by nearly jumping out of the truck.

Theodore! You have lines! And an opinion! Oh no… that means you could get infected by the stupids! And you’re with Lori! Oh Noes!

Rick is hiding everyone from one walker on the highway.

Carl is not leaving without his mom! Oh good, more talking. Hershel says all they need to worry about is keeping Carl alive. He tries to convince him that it’s time to leave the highway and find a safe place.

Rick is torn, but he decides they need to leave. Carl is super upset. But then Daryl and Carol arrive with Glenn and Maggie and everyone else!! Hooray!! We’re all so happy. Sophia saved all their lives, and kept the group together, you realize that, right?

She did indeed. Ah poor Sophia.

Daryl makes the same Asian joke I made earlier.

Lori asks about Shane. Aw, sad eyes.

Glenn asks about Andrea, and Theodore says Andrea went down.  There is a little discussion about going back to look for her before it is decided that it’s too dangerous. Rick says that even if she is alive, she would not still be at the farm.

This is likely true. I mean, would you stick around?

Theodore suggests that they head east to find safety and everyone agrees! Almost like he is an actual character on the show. They leave.

Thanks, Sophia.

Wow, I just realized we are 3/4 of the way through this one. It’s been tense.

It has been. They really pulled out the stops here at the end.

Andrea is in the woods. Walkers are after her but she is hoofin’ it.

LIVE, ANDREA!! LIVE!!

I am going to be very upset if she gets eaten.

She stops to check her supplies, they be low.

She uses a tree and her boot to take out a walker before moving on.

She is totally Resident Evil-ing her way through the forest.

The suburban starts to run out of gas, so everyone stops. They have to camp for the night and go look for gas in the morning. Of course that means that everyone freaks out about being out in the open for the first time in several months. Hershel tells everyone to stop panicking and look for firewood. Rick makes a speech about togetherness and hope and how they will all find shelter. Rick wants to fortify somewhere and build a life. Maggie decides to be the voice of doom and gloom, saying that they will never find a safe place. Then they decide to make camp.

Daryl tells them that Randall is dead and Shane killed him and he turned. Rick tells everyone that they are all infected with whatever makes them walkers when they die. They don’t need to be bitten. He tells them about the CDC guy telling him that before he blew himself the hell up. Everyone is pissed at him for not telling them this important fact earlier. Rick made a judgment call. A stupid, stupid judgment call everyone looks at him with the anger eyes.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis I wonder if the origins of the zombie plague is the HPV virus. @scifi4me #TheWalkingDead #ZombieWarts

Yeah, not so sure it was a stupid call. I mean we already had Andrea wanting to kill herself, and I’d be pretty sure that such news would have cast something of a pall over Team Zombie’s overall mood. Which wasn’t so hot to begin with. Not to mention, our CDC guy was kinda crazy suicidal, so I can see that conversation… “Hey guys, um, that  guy who just tried to kill us all? Yeah… he told me something really, really depressing and horrible. Want to hear it?”

Then they make camp.

Lori has a gun, you guys!! Run everybody!!

She hugs Rick and reassures him like a good wife. Then he tells her that he killed Shane and the whole story. Lori bugs her eyes. It’s a coin toss whether or not she’s okay with it or not. God, Lori, you are an awful judgy bitch. Rick knew Shane wanted to kill him, so he let him lead him away and then he killed him basically to shut him the hell up. Rick wanted Shane dead. He also tells her Carl put Walker Shane down and that makes Lori cry. She pushes Rick away…  get shot after childbirth, Lori.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis What’s Lori so pissed about? Three weeks ago she wanted him dead too. @scifi4me #TheWalkingDead #TotalBitch

Yeah… Just a few episodes back, Lori was all, “Shane is trying to take Carl and me away from you, and he’s dangerous, and you’re going to have to stop him.”  Has she met these guys? How did she think this was going to end?

Rick makes the sad eyes.

Well, yeah, he’s just realized his wife is nuts.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis  Spoiler: Everyone is about to die. @scifi4me #TheWalkingDead

Meanwhile some time later, Andrea is in the woods fighting herself some walkers. She is not doing so well until she is SAVED BY MICHONNE!! Oh my God!! I AM SO HAPPY!!!!

MICHONNE!!!! YES!!!

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis  YEEEESSSS!!!!!! @scifi4me #TheWalkingDead #AWESOMENESS

Ah, it is at this point that our studio audience decided that Dustin and I may have lost our minds. But seriously folks, it was just that cool a moment. There may have been dancing. They’ll see, and so will you.

And I now know exactly what the last shot of the show is. 100%. Yes!

((ahem)) At the camp, everyone is about whether or not to leave the group, Carol says they should go, Maggie says they should go, everyone is on edge. There is a sound out in the woods and everyone panics.

Well, their camp is really exposed, so yeah. But don’t leave out the Carol/Daryl exchange… Carol tells Daryl more or less that he shouldn’t be playing second fiddle to Rick… this bodes not well.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis The cure for ZPV: Cannibalism. @scifi4me #TheWalkingDead #WaysToMakeTWDbetter

Maggie wants to move camp, Rick tells them that he killed Shane to protect the group, he yells that he never asked for any of this. Then Rick monologues about how Shane gave him no choice and everyone cries and Rick is all I’M VINDICATED!!

This scene is sort of long overdue, and yet sort of weird. It’s been that odd mix of everyone looking to Rick, and Rick taking on a leadership role that he really wasn’t asked to from the beginning, and then add Shane into the mix… so yeah, it’s about time he yelled at them about it, but really, someone should point out that he kinda put himself in that position.

Rick says if they want to leave the group, then they should go, he’s not holding anyone hostage. Sounds like… Shane to me. Rick says if they stay, he is in charge. This is no longer a democracy. Hershel is happy with this development.

And for those of you familiar with the comic, where Rick is more of a mix of the TV’s Shane and Rick… this’ll be a lot more familiar than Rick has been this season.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis Rick’s character just had an arc. Nice. @scifi4me #TheWalkingDead #ZombieWarts

No on leaves, by the way.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis  Oh. I lied about that spoiler. @scifi4me #TheWalkingDead

And then the camera pulls back, and we see, off in the distance…

We see the prison… just like Tim said would happen… maybe he should do the predictions next year.

Curtis Smith ‏ @Creepy_Curtis  But not about the amputees. @scifi4me #TheWalkingDead

I think I’ll spare our readers that, but hey! Let’s review yours!

I don’t think we really need to.

No, no, lets! OK, so the first one, while blatantly obvious, you did, in fact, get. The walkers did attack the farm.

Yay.

Let’s see. The second one, well,  Andrea doesn’t even know Shane is dead, so that’s a no.

…

Three. Oh, well, I’m afraid you missed that one too, ’cause Daryl very much saved Carol.

…

Nothing? OK. The fourth one, let’s see… well, you were half right, the farm abandoned, yes, but the RV is chock full o’ zombie, so… 1/2 points.

Wait…

Nope! Fifth! And Hershel is still with the team so no points there. You sir, wow. Worst week yet.

I hate you.

No you don’t.

Fine, I don’t. Much.

Well that’s it folks! The season finale and wow! Pretty much a fantastic episode, even if Dustin was way off on his predictions.

I changed my mind. I do hate you.

Hush. Yes, I had my quibbles, but seriously, this second half of the season has been light years better than the first half, and I have great hopes for the 3rd season. Dustin and I both are excited as hell about the appearance of Michonne, and if the writing team stays even remotely close to the comic when it comes to the prison, well, we’ve got a wild ride ahead of us.

So let’s bid a farewell to Otis and Sophia, Dale and Shane, Randal and everyone on the Greene farm who got no character development at all, so clearly existed only to be zombie chum, and sit back and wait, and wait, and wait for the next season. And our lesson for the day, well, that seems pretty obvious.

If there are zombies on the other side of the door? Don’t open it. Seriously. That would be stupid. Oh hey.

What?

You were right.

About?

It did all end in tears.

Success!

[Official Show Site at AMC]     [Previous Recap: “Better Angels”]