The Lush likes "The New Guy"
Warning! Spoiler alert.
Okay, so my warning is out there, so nobody can complain.
We already know from last season that Myka has decided to leave the Warehouse due to an escalation with H.G. Wells, so the season starts on shaky ground.
The actual episode starts with a lovely lightning storm in Jersey City, NJ which originates from a museum featuring “The History of Rock ‘n’ Roll.” A guy is being escorted out by ATF in cuffs. The man is trying to explain that he works at the location and he had brought a girl in to “get lucky” as she’s “into Hendrix” (as in Jimi). The ATF agent not cuffing the gentleman looks at his partner to exclaim that he knows the guy is not lying. “Steve,” (who is played by the delectable Aaron Ashmore) the ATF agent looks up to see Pete walking into the building.
Inside, Pete catches up with the team, who is there (coincidentally) to swap out Hendrix’s guitar the same night. To ward off an incoming team of ATF agents, Claudia throws a “Tesla grenade” which shocks them and knocks them out while Pete is trying to rescue the woman trapped by lightning and flames. Unfortunately, Claudia and Artie’s victory is cut short by Steve, the ATF agent from outside, who is holding them at gunpoint. Claudia and Artie try covering their tracks with a variety of stories, each of which Steve calls out as a lie. When Artie finally gives him the truth, that is Claudia needs to change the pitch of the notes in order to stop the insane spark shower, Mr. ATF knows it’s the truth and allows them to go ahead and take care of things. Hmmm…odd talent? Rings a bell.
Anyways, back at the apartment of Mr. Lie-Detector, he is welcomed by two messages. One is from a coworker questioning the truth of “all that stuff about dangerous artifacts…” and another, more eerie one. Warehouse 13 fans will recognize the voice of Mrs. Frederic stating “turn on the light, we need to talk.”
And guess who gets a job?
Cut to Steve driving, entirely lost, trying to get help from his OnStar-like service. Imagine that…they have no idea where he’s trying to go…but he finally opens his eyes.
Inside the Warehouse, Artie and Leena are arguing with Pete about not wanting a new partner while they unpack in a quarantine (I believe they said “Ovoid” which means “egg-shaped”).
Steve is outside the Warehouse, completely awestruck, when Claudia pops in behind him. Incredulous, he recognizes the awesome redhead.
“Yes, it’s all true, Dorothy.”
Claudia introduces herself, eyeballs his car (watch out, product placement!), and drags him inside. On the tour inside, Claudia gives the rambling answer to “What exactly is Warehouse 13?” Steve is introduced to the crew…with the last name “Jinks.” Of course, it’s noted, this is a terrible name for a government agent.
Cue a scene in Denver, where a blonde lady is delivered a basket, develops red “bite” marks, says a line into her Bluetooth and dies. Meanwhile, the piece of paper attached to the basket has fallen into the trash can and is finishing burning to ashes.
Artie shows “Jinksy” the Warehouse for a second before a storm starts. Through the scope, it is revealed that the storm is in the ancient archives. Also, there’s a problem down in the quarantine and then there’s the ping from the incident in Denver.
There’s a bit of back and forth on the Farnsworth…with Jinks and Lattimer on the scene, theories are abound. The lady died of bites from a nonexistent Russell’s viper. Back at the Warehouse, it is revealed that a statue of Zeus is the problem in the ancient archives. On the scene, we learn Steve is a Buddhist while he bags the burnt paper. Again, at the Warehouse, we learn that it’s something in the quarantine making Zeus go crazy. On the scene, Steve and Pete are interrupted by a Southern-sweetie FBI agent by the name of Sally Stukowski. She tries pulling rank and Pete is his usual self. Needless to say, they get escorted out.
Guess what was freaking out Zeus?
The fruit basket delivery guy reappears at an apartment building where the next victim, a waiter/actor is delivered another piece of paper. The waiter/actor is stabbed to death with no knives and mumbles in another language before his death spasm and final pose. The Regalton Hotel is the only (albeit loose) connection between the two deaths.
Back at the Warehouse, Artie gives Leena and Claudia a crash course in Greek Mythology. They realize there is need to move one of the statues…ASAP.
Aaaand…here’s where I give away the artifact.
Steve finally realizes the connections between the deaths…it’s Shakespeare! The first death is from Antony and Cleopatra, and the second is from Julius Caesar. Pete, seizing the opportunity, goes to visit Myka at the family bookstore to get info on “Walter Shakespeare.”
Myka, seeing Pete, has a meltdown, not wanting to help. Enter Steve, cue awkward meeting, then awesome realization by Myka that these deaths could be tied to “The Lost Folio”: a long lost (and cursed) folio of Shakespeare work. Pete stops Myka mid-stream and then leaves.
There is a goofy bonding moment on the Farnsworth when Pete refers to himself as Kirk and shows “Spock” (Steve throwing a Vulcan sign!). Artie has no idea about the Folio and he and Claudia plant Zeus in a conservatory.
Back in Denver, Steve is trying to brief Pete on Buddhism in the hotel lobby before they attempt to connect the dots. The only big underlying theme is asecret investment banker meeting at the hotel, but then Pete has a bad feeeeeling! The bellboy delivers an envelope, Steve opens the envelope, lo and behold it’s another Shakes-y page! He seizes up, can’t breathe, and guess who pops in?
Myka gives him CPR while he has to recite a line. She saves his life and congratulates him on being “almost killed by an artifact,” which makes it official…he’s a Warehouse agent.
So, Steve’s attempted murder is from Othello (the smothering of dear Desdemona) and Myka has some info on the folio. Basically, if you touch the page, you die as in the picture on the page…unless you recite the final line of the character before the page burns.
They catch the guy who dropped off the envelope on the security camera (again, the guy from the previous deliveries) and try to figure out a way to stop the investment banker meeting (they can’t).
In the meeting, the bad guy shows up and drops off three “menus” to the panel guys…with three folio pages (imagine that). First is the death of Gertrude, Myka saves one. Then the death of Claudius, Myka saves two. Last, the death of Hamlet, Myka almost blanks but saves three. Guess who was distracting the FBI lady?
There’s sappy music, Myka drives off after mouthing “be careful.” Steve finds the last page of the folio but the guy is long gone. Agent girly tells Pete off and it seems like the end of the episode.
Buuut…back in quarantine, Hera has gone peaceful and Claudia lets out a scarab (oops!).
Myka, back at the bookstore, gets a visit from Mrs. Frederic who thanks her…and brings H.G. Wells. Wells confesses hate during the time she was bronzed which spread “like cancer.” She warns Myka not to let her hate turn to fear (and Wells was a hologram of sorts, so no worries of trouble).
Aaaaand…Myka comes back! Happy times!
Artie is smiley, then back to work!
Lastly, our mystery bad guy is giving a report to a man in the shadows. He is promptly disposed of using a plastic bag…choked by a woman…FBI AGENT SALLY STUKOWSKI.
Dun, dun, DUUUUUN!!!
