The 100 RECAP: Dawn of the Stupid

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Episode 3×10, “Fallen”
Written by Charmagne DeGrate and Javier Grillo-Marxuach
Directed by Matt Barber

Man, zombies sure are the cool new thing, aren’t they? That Walking Dead show sure is a hoot! You know what would be even cooler? Science zombies! Where you replace the death with science! Neat, right? Let’s find out, and take a very loopy feelings journey in the process.

(But not really)
(But not really)

We start off in Bellamy’s new cave hangout, where the Best Friend Squad is just arriving. They do not have happy smiling looks on their faces, which Bellamy notices instantly. He also notices the absence of Lincoln, which we all remember is because Pike is the worst. Octavia doesn’t see it that way, however, and when Bellamy begins to apologize it unleashes the gates of hell from her tiny little fists. The others, sensing an impending beat down, move to intervene, but Bellamy stops them. What follows is a distinctly uncomfortable scene in which Octavia releases all of her rage and hopelessness on her brother via punches and kicks. The others watch helplessly, as do I. Damn, when I mentioned Octavia was going to come out throwing punches after Lincoln’s death, this is not the situation I had envisioned. I also wanted some sense beaten into Bellamy, but not like this. After one final falcon punch, and a bitter “You’re dead to me” from his beloved sister, I am genuinely feeling sorry for Bell for the first time all season. I wallow in my bloody tears as the credits roll.

In King’s Landing Polis, we once again find Murphy locked in a place he does not want to be placed in. This time it’s Ontari’s chambers, chained to a wall. They just keep getting more and more specific. Anyway, after some Murphy-esque sniping, they’re interrupted by an official-looking dudebro that I’m not sure if I’m supposed to know or not. If I am…I don’t. He seems to be official in some capacity though, as he semi-summons Ontari for a ceremony reciting all the names of past commanders. When Murderess von Childrenstein is hesitant to do this, dudebro suspects perfidy. Her ass is saved from becoming grass by Murphy, whose expert lies have kept him alive for three and a half seasons now. He thus placates dudebro, and prevents Ontari from more murder. He advises her that killing everyone who disagrees with her isn’t a rock-solid plan. Murphy cements his role on Team Ice Baddie, and I find I don’t really care all that much. Murphy’s constantly shifting allegiances aren’t exactly stunning plot twists.

In Arkadia, Raven Reyes is proving her superiority to everyone else on earth by outsmarting a literal supercomputer. She’s performing as many simultaneous tasks as possible to take up her considerable brain space, much to the bemusement of her ALIE hallucination, who claims it futile. But Raven didn’t raise herself to be no quitter, so she continues to blast awesome music, do an impressive amount of pull-ups that will inspire me at the gym for several sustained months, and recite poetry while looking fabulous. ALIE is impressed and surprised by how much cooler Raven is than everyone else, but that’s because she’s new here. A crowd of chipped-up ALIE followers gather and are quickly dispersed by Abigail Griffin, restorer of order and possessor of a beautiful face. She is joined by Jasper, ruiner of everything. Abby manages to shoo Jaha away from her precious substitute daughter, but not before Jaha assures her that she’ll “come around.” “Not likely,” spews Abby with venom, and I am drawing up adoption papers as we speak. Abigail Griffin is my new mom, everybody. She and Jasper rush to their beautiful friend’s aid (about GD time), just in time for Raven to reveal she has a brilliant plan to remove herself from the ALIE network. Because of course she does. Because Raven Reyes is better than you.

Nearby, heroic angel Monty Green is joined by his bitch mom. She informs him that Pike knows Monty helped enable the Great BFS Escape. This is extremely bad. Hannah entreats her son to leave camp immediately without packing and join the BFS, the best idea she’s probably ever had, although not for the right reasons. Because of course Hannah herself was the one to rat Monty out to Pike. Someone should have taken a Marcus Kane Parenting Seminar, but clearly did not. Either way, my heart breaks a little when Monty asks his mom for a hug, only to be denied on the grounds it would look suspicious. My poor lawful good baby hero cannot catch a flipping break. Big ups to Christopher Larkin for slaying the balls out of this scene, btw.

The Best Friend Squad is planning and scheming, their specialty. Such topics include sacrificing Pike to the grounders to lift the blockade, Lexa’s presumed demise, and Clarke’s position in Polis now that the Commander situation has changed. Octavia’s all for leaving Clarke out to dry, and is more focused on murdering Pike with her bare warrior hands. Kane agrees. Not about the Clarke thing, probably, but definitely about the murder. He wants back into that coalition deal. Before they can seal up an actual plan, Monty’s angelic voice pops on Bellamy’s radio. The BFS is suspicious, natch. Nonetheless, they decide not to leave Monty at the mercy of Pike and the Douchey Murder Patrol (or what remains of it), and schedule a meet up at the dropship. F**k yes! More dropship! I am genuinely delighted. I love the dropship.

Harper, my beloved daughter, points out that this could be a DMP trap. While we know that it isn’t, good to see Harper staying sharp and alive. While Kane is hesitant to lead all his little ducklings into potential danger, Octavia is dead set on joining him, and Kane acquiesces (probably out of fear of a Bellamy-style beat down). They also decide to bring Bellamy as leverage, which Miller mildly objects too on the grounds that they’re still bros deep down, damn it! He’s overruled by Daddy, however, so it looks like Bellamy’s embarking on the Second Worst Road Trip Ever.

Spoiler alert: It does not go well (Photo: Bettina Strauss/The CW)
Spoiler alert: It does not go well (Photo: Bettina Strauss/The CW)

Jaha and ALIE are in the midst of a moderate to full-on freak out about Raven ditching them, and complain thusly to their COL followers. ALIE reiterates that she cannot override Raven’s free will, which again, boo frickity hoo. Jaha, who has levelled up asshole-wise in the last twelve minutes, encourages her to “hack” Raven’s free will like she hacked the nuclear missiles that fried the earth 97 years ago. Because that’s a comprehensible line of thought. He suggests reinstating the pain ALIE took away from her, just to be a dick I’m assuming. I hope Jaha doesn’t get a redemption arc, because honestly, I don’t think I could watch it with my own two eyes.

Their devious plans are in the midst of being foiled, however, by the unsurpassable Raven Reyes. Her genius plan involves the wristbands that The 100 were tagged with when they were first sent to the ground. The devices in them send out electrical impulses that could disable ALIE’s tech without zapping her beautiful flawless mind, which Abby of course knows because she only invented the things. Also in this scene is Jasper and Abby discovering that COL inductees can see ALIE in their own heads, which they only find out after watching Raven lay into her own hallucination seemingly out of nowhere. It would be funny if it wasn’t so nerve-wracking. Oh, and ALIE instructs all her followers to find and destroy the remaining wristbands.

Abby is 10000x calmer than I would be if my friend just turned into a techno-zombie (Photo: Bettina Strauss/The CW)
Abby is 10000x calmer than I would be if my friend just turned into a techno-zombie (Photo: Bettina Strauss/The CW)

In a last-ditch attempt to incapacitate their runaway (and a straight dick move), ALIE decides to give Raven what she wanted: her memories back. Unfortunately, it turns out all of Raven’s memories suck ass. Of course the first thing she recalls is being tortured at Mount Weather, then being operated on while fully conscious, then the stabbing death of her first love and best friend. Damn, the ground has not been good to Ms. Reyes. Or anybody, but also Raven in particular. Abby is desperate to save her daughter-friend, but since she receives little help from a chipped-out Jackson (the only other doctor in Arkadia), she’s too little too late. After being forced to relive her worst traumas, Raven understandably breaks, and hauntingly begs ALIE to once again remove her pain. This results in the straight up most terrifying thing that’s ever happened on this show, ALIE-Raven. On a related note, MVP for the episode goes to Lindsay Morgan. I’m downright terrified at “She’s ours,” and the creepy, robotic way her body moves. So is Abby, right before Jackson shanks her with a sedative. Still, pumped that Jackson’s included in something for once.

Murphy and Ontari are in a pinch in Polis. The Order of the Phoenix Cave doesn’t have a comprehensive list of past commanders, so it seems they’re SOL. Brief aside: how long is this list of names that you have to have an AI database to know them all? It’s only been 97 years, there can’t have been that many. But whatever. Suspension of blah blah blah. Ontari’s pissed that no one will let her be commander despite the fact that she put up with the Desperate Housewives Queen and a bunch of other shit just because she murdered a handful of children. Boo frickity hoo. Murphy got the crap beat out of him 87 times in the past two weeks; your deal’s not that raw, Ontari. Murphy appears to be on her side, but of course he would, wouldn’t he?

Meanwhile, Jasper, in a rare display of usefulness, is fetching the wristbands needed to save Raven. This moment is short lived. He’s interrupted by Jaha, being creepy and possessed, and after the same loot. He puts up something resembling a fight, but to no avail. Why people continue to allow Jasper to do things is beyond me, but what remains of the BFS is short-handed, so.

Speaking of the BFS, they’re currently trotting Bellamy off into the maybe-trap. It turns out to be a definitely-trap, but of course not because of Monty, simply because Pike is the worst. He also brought snipers, probably for the same reason. Anyway, he has a gun to Monty’s head, and Kane, unwilling to risk another one of his ducklings, concedes. However, Octavia of the Fierce Bitch Revenge Squad is not like-minded. She calls his hand by putting her own sword to her brother’s bloody throat. Bellamy doesn’t seem to mind until Pike calls for a shot in Octavia’s leg, at which point he immediately flips back into Action Mode. This unfortunately requires detaining his sister and apparently rejoining the Douchey Murder Patrol. Which is unappealing, however why do I get the feeling it’s a classic Best Friend Squad trap?

Seemingly leading the DMP back to the BFS cave, Bellamy finagles a bargain out of Pike for Octavia’s freedom. He assures the Head Douche that she’ll stay in line, even uttering his classic line: “My sister, my responsibility.” This is how you know that shit’s about to go down, since the last time Bellamy said that, like 300 people died.

It's what all the kids are doing now! (Photo: Bettina Strauss)
It’s what all the kids are doing now! (Photo: Bettina Strauss)

We don’t see shit go down immediately though, at least not that shit. In Arkadia, Abby is now a captive of the ALIE groupies, which she now knows to include Jackson. She doesn’t vibe with this, and tries to shake her friend loose by reminding him of his mother who died, prompting him to become a doctor. Jackson, however, is hooked  up to the Kool-Aid IV, along with everyone else, and they’re all pretty gung-ho about Abby taking this chip. Abby, however, being resilient and beautiful and better than all these fools, refuses steadfastly. “I don’t care if you torture me. I will never take the key,” she says defiantly. And you may recall Abby Griffin knows a thing or two about torture. But that’s not what the creeper army has in mind. Instead Jackson hands ALIE-Raven a scalpel which she uses to slice open Raven’s wrists, leaving Abby with one choice: take the chip and save Raven, or struggle and watch her die. Abby, of course, like Marcus, would never leave one of her baby ducklings to perish. She takes the key. The smug smirk on ALIE’s hallucinatory face makes me want to punch my laptop, but I can’t because it’s a loaner from my job. Curses.

In the Polaris Cave which has been claimed by the Ice Baddies, Miss Child Murder 2149 is reciting her makeshift speech for the coalition. No one cares. Murphy arrives toting in Mr. Dudebro and some other ambassadors, much to Ontari’s displeasure. She is not a fan of Mr. Dudebro, nor is he a fan of her. Apparently her rule doesn’t start until she recites that list of commanders. This is where he and Ontari differ on opinions. She believes her reign has already begun, and lets him know this by Xander-ing his eyeballs in right in front of all the other ambassadors. This directly contradicts Murphy’s earlier advice of avoiding murder if at all possible, which is not surprising. I don’t believe that was ever advice that was going to be followed.

The enemy of my sister is my enemy and is likely to get a good smacking(Photo: Bettina Strauss)
The enemy of my sister is my enemy and is likely to get a good smacking(Photo: Bettina Strauss)

The Douchey Murder Patrol and captured Best Friend Squad are still venturing towards the blockade under the guise of Bellamy leading Pike to the others. I’m sorry, I can’t even pretend I actually believe he’s going to do that. Of course the war horns go off when Bellamy accidentally-but-totally-on-purpose crosses the blockade line and immediately disarms Pike. Looks like Bellamy did take some trap lessons from his dad Kane after all. He has Octavia translate to the grounders that they’re surrendering Pike, a plan that Pike naturally does not appreciate. He makes a point to tell Bellamy the mistake he’s made; but brainwashed and benign order-taking Bellamy is gone forever. Long live screw-the-rules-la-la-la-I’m-not-listening-I-do-what-I-want Bellamy, amen.

After a brief incident where Kane has to stop Octavia from murdering Pike before the grounders get the chance to, the blockade axes what remains of the Douchey Murder Patrol, effectively destroying it. Boo ya! The Best Friend Squad reigns supreme!! All who stand in our way shall crumble before us and suffer our wrath! BFS now BFS forever!! Okay I’m done. Kane asks if he can join the grounders taking Pike to the new commander, either to blow raspberries in Pike’s ear the whole way there or to mend political fences. Either way, he has the grounder tattoo of friendship, so he gets to come with.

Daddy manages to do two things before bouncing: 1) get Monty to deliver a message to his bae back at camp (whom he does not know is now chipped to heck), and 2) have a character-exploring moment with his newly reinstated son Bellamy. “Did you do this for your sister, or because it’s the right thing to do?” He asks, a dumb question we all basically know the answer to. Bellamy’s decision-making has always been skewed in a distinct way, though no more or less than anyone else on this grayscale-ass show. Bellamy’s not quite in the mood for a dad speech, but once you get Kane going he can’t be stopped. “It matters. Until you see that, you’ll still be lost.”

But Bellamy’s not the only one with problems here, people! Pure being of light Monty Green now has to deal with the fact that his own mother was willing to sell him out to a fascist dictator. That can’t be a pleasant sensation. Bellamy tries to comfort his friend, as a Dad-in-Training. “You’re family. You’ll work it out,” he assures, which of course is equally about Hannah and Monty as it is Himself and Octavia, who happens to be within earshot. Their beautiful broment ends just in time for Bellamy to catch an eyeful of Octavia killing the last of the Douchey Murder Patrol with a knife to the heart. “Jus Drein Jus Daun,” she reminds her brother. Welp.

It’s the end of a long day for Ontari the Mass Murderer of Eight-Year-Olds, so she decides to retire. The only thing she demands is wine, just to really drive in that this is the poor man’s Cersei Lannister. Murphy also has to be there for some reason. I’ve stopped questioning it at this point. Murphy is everywhere. That’s just how it is. Get on board or go home. The only one not on board is seemingly Murphy himself, who’s not stoked about being Fifty Shades’d to the wall by the grounder equivalent of a deranged Furby.  I’m pretty sure they’re just trying to get us to hate Ontari as much as possible in a condensed amount of time. Surprise, it’s working. I hate her now. We’re done, right? Nope. Looks like we really have to hammer it in here, so we also include the Elf Murder Queen stripping down awkwardly and basically coercing Murphy into some very questionable sex. And… it’s gross, guys. It’s just really gross, right? I’m not alone in this? I don’t really care about analyzing the greater context of this scene, I just feel really yucky.

Pictured: A goddess and a piece of slightly burnt toast (Photo: Bettina Strauss)
Pictured: A brainwashed goddess and a piece of slightly burnt toast (Photo: Bettina Strauss)

Back in the quickly collapsing apocalyptic wasteland that is Arkadia, Jasper Jordan has pulled a Murphy and has been chained to a furnishing against his will. He struggles to break free, although he might not try as hard if he knew he was the only remaining un-chipped human in his entire city. He does manage to break free and stumble into a buzzing beehive of ALIE fans, which now boasts the radiant almighty healer Abigail Griffin among their ranks. This rightfully terrifies Jasper, and he immediately bounces. He runs straight to Raven, his closest, hottest, and possibly only remaining friend. Unfortunately, he only finds that Raven has dipped her toe back into the Kool-Aid, so to speak. She attempts to make another play at Jasper joining the COL, but is tranq shanked before she can finish a thought. There seems to be a lot of that going around this season. Jasper then whisks Raven away to a rover to escape somewhere far away and (presumably) far less Zombieland. He has a couple close scrapes but manages to pull a feat Kane could not: bust through the gates of Arkadia. He doesn’t do too much better though: he gets maybe seventy feet before he screeches to a halt. Clarke! My child! I literally almost haven’t thought about you at all for the last thirty-three minutes, this episode has been so good! But here you are! I am blessed. Jasper’s not so hype to see Clarke, and even less hype when she dumps her Flame-Nightblood-Luna Hunting plotline on him. He unceremoniously shouts at her that Lincoln is too dead to help as their rover gets shot to pieces by ALIE’s Mind-Control Zombie Revue. I get to hate Jasper just a little bit more before they escape, though not before Clarke spots her mom among the yuppies. A quick reminder that once Raven opens her eyes ALIE will know of the new Best Friend Squad hiding place, and it looks like no one’s in a happy place going into next week. Whoops.

There’s a lot I liked about this episode and a lot I didn’t. I liked the interactions with Raven and Abby, as I always do. I didn’t like that Jasper was there. I like that Bellamy is realigned with his friends, but I wasn’t crazy about that Blake Family Wrestling scene. It made me feel bad. Though not as bad as the Murphip (Murphy/Turnip) sex scene. That’s a whole separate deal, though. All I know is that the delinquents are all set to reunite next episode, and maybe even the dropship! Oh man, the possibilities are endless! Will Jasper stop being flagrantly useless? Will everyone stop blaming Clarke for their stupid problems? And can someone maybe crack a joke or two? Because these past few episodes have been particularly bleak. Murphy’s sassy punchlines just aren’t getting the job done anymore. I’m sorry, but it had to be said.

 

The 100 airs Thursdays at 9/8c on The CW.

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