Mr. Harvey & Mr. Adair Hear The DEAD Knocking…

Season 3 Episode 7 “When the Dead Come Knocking”

[photos: Gene Page/AMC]

‘Allo Lads and Lasses, and welcome back, as once again, your Misters Adair, Smith and Harvey, along with our very own studio audience, regale you with tales of Team Zombie and the Zombpocolypse!

As always, we will be seeing SPOILERS, strong opinions, inappropriate language and behavior, which, if you’ve joined us before, you know already. If this is your first time, welcome! And you have been warned.

Onward! Mr. Adair!

So I think Carol will be up and around and acting like nothing ever happened this week.

But of course.

That doesn’t actually count as a prediction.

Good, since it’s clear by now that Team Zombie scoffs at such weakness as actually healing from life threatening injuries.  Okay then, so what are your predictions, Oh Great Seer?

• Andrea will not discover all the creepy @#$% in The Governor’s house, even though she will be practically living there.
• Rick and Michonne will bond over their bad-assery. Well, Michonne’s ongoing bad-assery, and Rick’s newly acquired bad-assery. Everyone on Team Zombie will love Michonne as much as me.
• Maggie and Glen will not enjoy the same level of hospitality from Woodbury that Andrea and Michonne enjoyed.
• Cats.

Cats?

Cats.

Why cats?

Why not?

 … I don’t have a reason why not. OK, cats it is. Now sir, take us into the scene, if you will.

I will indeed. Glenn is in a cell with Merle. Glenn is tied to a chair with duct tape. He is all stoic. Merle asks if Glenn has any idea why he is there. Glenn is still stoic.
Merle calls him an a****le, and I’m quoting there, and goes back to the season one handcuff thing. Glenn says they all went back to get him, but he was gone.
Merle calls Theodore a “spear chucker.” God I hate you Merle.
Glenn hates you too.

Everyone hates Merle. And here we have the racist we’ve been missing since Michael Rooker first came back to the show. No Merle-lite here.

Curtis Smith ‏@Creepy_Curtis
Dragging a blade across a table. Lesson 1 in crappy interrogation techniques. @SciFi4Me @WalkingDead_AMC

Merle asks about the others including Daryl, because he really wants to know where Daryl is. He even threatens Maggie to get the information.
Maggie can hear all of this through the wall.
I hope Glenn can remain strong. I hope Maggie can be strong too.
Merle is kind of the horrible, king d*** hole we all remember in this scene.

He really is. I’m not sure I’m… pleased? Is that the word I want? But it does feel like we have the character back.

He threatens Glenn with the sword arm, putting it under his nose and pressing the flat end into his flesh.
Glenn headbutts him.
I am LOVING THIS.
Then the punching starts.
Merle wants to know all the things and Glenn is not telling. I hope Maggie can do the same.

Meanwhile at the prison, zero seconds have passed. Michonne and Rick are still staring at each other through the fence.

Somewhere, a graduate student is developing a thesis on how time on this show is completely jacked up.

Curtis Smith ‏@Creepy_Curtis
I wonder if they left the bandaids at the store too. @SciFi4Me @WalkingDead_AMC

One of the zombies smells her blood and Carl asks if they should help her. Rick walks around the guard tower to get to the gate. Michonne has to take out some of the walkers before he gets there. This is the worst she has ever done in fighting the walkers, but she still takes out about four before she falls.
I freak out.

Breathe. She’s going to be fine.

Curtis Smith ‏@Creepy_Curtis
Everybody wants a cool sword. @SciFi4Me @WalkingDead_AMC #hasacoolsword

Then Rick and Carl come to the rescue. Carl goes for the supplies while Rick grabs Michonne and they take her to the block.
Rick wakes Michonne and she says that she did not ask for their help.
YOU WERE ABOUT TO BE EATEN BY WALKERS!! A little gratitude goes a long way.

See? She’s fine. Still the warm, friendly, sweet-natured Michonne we’ve all come to love.

He takes her sword and tells her that she can’t leave and then Daryl comes and gets Rick to show him something. What? Is Baby Kick-Ass already walking? Rick locks Michonne in the outer area of the cell block.
Carol is fine, and she’s had a haircut.

We could pause here to discuss time and continuity errors on this show, but…

We’d be here all night?

And into tomorrow. Onward!

Rick is happy. There is a sweet reunion between them where they say barely a word to each other, but Carol is introduced to Baby Kick-Ass, she realizes that Lori didn’t make it, and the two of them grieve for her together.
Michonne watches the whole thing.

Curtis Smith ‏@Creepy_Curtis
Awww. Carl’s gonna cry. Knew he wasn’t a total psycho. Not totally. @SciFi4Me @WalkingDead_AMC

Woodbury. The Scientist tells The Governor that Coleman is ready as Andrea pulls on her pants.
Anne-Marie always says it’s not a Zompocolypse without a thong.

Curtis Smith ‏@Creepy_Curtis
I guess the Victoria’s Secret is still open in town. @SciFi4Me @WalkingDead_AMC #Andreasincredibleass

It is an interesting fashion choice for the end of the world, and goodness. The Governor is looking a little worn, isn’t he? Way to wear a guy out lady. Shagging the bad guy, though… another great decision from Andrea.

Curtis Smith ‏@Creepy_Curtis
I’m afraid the whole episode’ll be overshadowed by a glimpse of a sexy ass. Andrea’s sexy ass.
@SciFi4Me @WalkingDead_AMC #Andreassexyass

Back at the prison, Rick asks Michonne how she got there and they have a little confrontation. Daryl is all: CROSSBOW and Michonne is all: So?
Michonne tells them that Woodbury exists, she outlines the situation with The Governor in about a sentence, but doesn’t mention Andrea or Merle to anyone, which I do find a little odd. She offers to take them there to rescue Glenn and Maggie. Hershel is told to take care of Michonne.

Nice little touch? Rick points out that Hershel is Maggie’s dad. And Michonne lets him take care of her with a minimum of glaring.

Back in Woodbury, Glenn is all beat to hell. Glenn tells Merle that Rick will come to save him, Merle laughs this off; he wasn’t there for all the crazy Rick has gone through. I don’t think he realizes just what a threat Rick has become to anyone who threatens his group.
But at the same time, Glenn has no idea how bad of a situation he’s in either. Glenn says that his whole group will come for him; Rick, Daryl etc. He tries to use Andrea as part of the threat, but he does not realize she is buried under 180 pounds of the leader of the bad guys lovin’.

Hershel patches Michonne up through her pants. This would be the moment in life where I mention that I thought Michonne’s big secret in the comics was that she was transgender. But of course, nah.
In the cell block, Team Zombie discusses who will go on the away team to scout Woodbury. Pretty much everyone volunteers. Rick realizes that it’s up to him to pick the team.
Out at the gate, Michonne asks Daughter Fodder if they cleared all the walkers out of the prison by themselves.
Daughter Fodder says “There were more of us”. Ha.

That was a great line. Pretty much sums it up, doesn’t it?

Rick brings Carl to the side and they have a heart to heart about how Carl had to shoot Lori in the face. Carl is all: Sometimes B***** need to get shot in the face. And Rick is all like: Let’s do our best to avoid that in the future.
Rick then puts Carl in charge.
Perfect.
Rick and Carl talk about what to name Baby Kick-Ass. Carl suggests Judith. Welcome to Team Zombie Judith. I think I will stick with Baby Kick-Ass.

Curtis Smith ‏@Creepy_Curtis
And a ton of people lost their office pools. @SciFi4Me @WalkingDead_AMC #TheBaby‘sName

So Daryl, Rick, Michonne and Medium Tiny head out to do a little recon.

Meanwhile, Andrea is brought to see some old dude that the scientist is taking care of. This is Mr. Coleman. The Governor is very nice to him and then leaves Andrea with Mr. Coleman and the scientist.
I feel like something 100% awful is about to happen.
The scientist tells Andrea to put on a record, then goes through some personal information with the old guy. The old guy asks if the record can continue to play while they wait.

Curtis Smith ‏@Creepy_Curtis
“kiiilllllll meeeeee” @SciFi4Me @WalkingDead_AMC #WhatTheOldGuyReallySaid

Glenn and Merle time. Merle brings in a walker and releases it for to eat Glenn. He says that the walker will be hungry again in an hour. Oh Merle. Just all my hate.
Glen and the walker do battle!! Glenn is holding his own, considering that he is tied to a chair. He is able to break the chair and impale the walkers brain with a leg in just a couple of minutes.
Anne-Marie thinks he may have just grown a 3rd testicle.

Curtis Smith ‏@Creepy_Curtis
Nice chair fight. Now back to thinking about Andrea’s sexy ass. @SciFi4Me @WalkingDead_AMC #JustInTime4Xmas

Stop being a jerk, AMC, aren’t there enough reality shows? Do we need one about the members of a modern-day freak show?

Sigh. From the network that brought you Madmen and The Walking Dead. Because horrible is contagious apparently. This aside brought to you by a show none of us will watch. Anyway…

Meanwhile, the scientist tells Andrea that after Mr. Coleman dies (of prostate cancer) they will ask the personal questions again to see how he responds. Then his head will be bashed in by Andrea.
I kind of can’t wait to see the scientist’s head bitten off.
The scientist is an only child he never went anywhere so he never saw anyone turn.

Right, so wait. It’s been a year or so in WD time, right? In all of that time, in all that time, he’s never seen anyone turn? Seriously? No one in town has died before Mr. Coleman does? Really? Really? That just seems… ridiculous. No one wounded by zombies? No one died of old age or any other illness? And it’s not like the Governor’s ruling style hasn’t produced any “volunteers” before now, surely. Oh kids, that’s sloppy writing there.

Curtis Smith ‏@Creepy_Curtis
I’ll tell you what I’m NOT thankful for. NO GOBLINS. @SciFi4Me @WalkingDead_AMC

Meanwhile, the Governor and Merle talk about all the ninja Glenn was.
The Governor decides he wants to go talk to Maggie.

Curtis Smith ‏@Creepy_Curtis
JEEEEZE. Just go to the prison already. @SciFi4Me @WalkingDead_AMC #TheOnlyOtherPlaceAround

Oh that’s not good.

In Maggie’s cell, she too is tied to a chair with duct tape. The Governor enters and cuts her loose. He sits and proceeds to pour on as much charm as possible. He asks her to tell them where the rest of Team Zombie is, he even offers to bring them to Woodbury, but Maggie is not biting.
The Governor tells Maggie to stand up. She does.
He tells her to take off her shirt and she refuses. The Governor tells her that if she doesn’t he’ll bring Glenn’s hand in with him next time.
Off subject, Maggie is wearing a great black bra.

Curtis Smith ‏@Creepy_Curtis
Andrea who? @SciFi4Me @WalkingDead_AMC

The Governor makes Maggie strip. I was actually afraid this would happen. The Governor gets up, takes off his gun belt, and he crosses the room to her.
Maggie is trying her best to  remain calm.
I can tell you that Anne-Marie and I are having a hard time remaining calm.
The Governor strokes her hair, then slams her face into the table. Maggie says she will not tell him anything, so he should just do what he’s gotta do.

Curtis Smith ‏@Creepy_Curtis
The Governor should wait two hours before getting back in the pool. @SciFi4Me @WalkingDead_AMC #AndreasSexyAss

Then The Governor doesn’t do it.
I was very afraid Maggie would take Michonne’s place in the rape situation from the comics; it might still happen, but she was at least spared for now.

Yeah… this scene was pretty brutal. But it cements the way the Governor works: He wants you to surrender power to him. Maggie won’t. She’ll take what he’ll do to her, but she won’t give him the satisfaction of breaking.

The manly members of Team Zombie, get out of the car and decide to make the rest of the journey to Woodbury on foot. Rick and Daryl have a heart to heart about how Daryl has been Mamma-birding Baby Kick-Ass while Rick was… ahem… calling home.
Suddenly: ZOMBIES!!
Team Zombie do their best against the walkers, but they are outnumbered.  They make their way to a cabin where in a moment of PURE FILLER they encounter a paranoid hermit, kill him and feed him to the waiting walkers to escape.

Curtis Smith ‏@Creepy_Curtis
Happiness is a fresh gut pile. @SciFi4Me @WalkingDead_AMC #ThingsILearnedInKansasAndOnWalkingDead

Oh. Oh my. This scene is just about the worst of the season. Filler is putting it kindly. So what the hell is going on here? Is this guy asleep or something? Is he playing possum? And what’s with “I’ll call the cops”? The cops? It’s bad enough this scene exists purely to burn time, but it’s edited so poorly, that it took a second viewing to tell that Michonne actually killed the hermit, because the first time I watched it, it looked like she just wounded him. Which would kind of meant our heroes tossed a wounded stranger to the hungry undead. Of course, it still ends up being our heroes killing a total stranger after invading his home.

Not that much of an improvement, actually.

Curtis Smith ‏@Creepy_Curtis
MEANWHILE…..Back at the lab. @SciFi4Me @WalkingDead_AMC

Meanwhile, Andrea is still babysitting the scientist and the dead guy. The corpse reanimates and the scientist starts his experiment. Of course it does not work, but the scientist refuses to see it. He releases one of the new walker’s hands and is just about to be bitten by it when Andrea does the only sane thing in this scene and stabs it in the head.

Glenn is using a leg of the chair as bludgeon when The Governor and Merle bring Maggie into the room. The Governor tells them that one of them is going to give up Team Zombie’s position, then he puts the gun to Glenn’s head. Glenn looks like he is ready to die before he gives up the location, but Maggie is not willing to take that chance. She tells The Governor that the rest of the Team is at the prison.
The Governor is gross with Maggie for a second before releasing her into Glenn’s arms.

Hmmm. I can’t tell if the look that Merle gives Glenn as he leaves is some sort of grudging respect, or a veiled threat for what’s going to happen next. In fact, there are a lot of odd looks on Merle’s face this episode. I’m thinking that it’s the wheels turning in his warped little mind, and I’m wondering where it’s going. Nowhere good I suspect.

The Governor, Merle and the Scientist talk about the prison while in the darkness outside, Rick, Michonne, Daryl, and Medium Tiny survey the town.
In The Governor’s office, Merle confirms his loyalties lie with Woodbury.

You mean the Governor more or less accuses Merle of being an opportunist, and Merle, being an opportunist, sees which way the wind is blowing. He also recognizes that he’s not the craziest guy in the room, I’m thinking.

Meanwhile behind the wall, Andrea is walking to The Governor’s house. Being the dumbest person in the world she goes to him and they are @#$%ing gross together.
Her hair is very shiny though.

Curtis Smith ‏@Creepy_Curtis
It’s gonna be a BLOODBATH. @SciFi4Me @WalkingDead_AMC

Clearly Woodbury still has a stash of conditioner. Well! There you have it folks… so what did you think of this week’s episode? And what about Mr. Adair’s predictions? Let’s find out!

OK… Well, Andrea seems to have spent all her time in the Governor’s bedroom, so yes, she is still oblivious to his crazy. One for you.

Because I… am amazing.

Uh huh. Two! Well, too early to tell about the badass bonding, and Team Zombie is still just getting the glare treatment from Michonne, brief moments of politeness aside. And if Daryl is any indication, love may be a wee bit down the road. Mmmmm… 1/4 point.

I don’t think you’ve ever given me a 1/4 point before. I really don’t know what to do with that. It’s just weird.

You’ll survive. Three!

No, seriously. When did we go to a rating scale that has quarters?

Today. Roll with it. Three! Definitely a point for you, as Maggie and Glenn’s experience with the local welcome wagon leaves something to be desired.

Who decides this rating scale?

Four! Cats! No cats! Of any kind, anywhere. In fact, come to think of it, when was the last time we saw any small animals in this show? It seems they did not fare well against the rise of the zombie hordes. That’s kind of sad.

This rating system of yours is kinda sad.

And that’s us for this week kids! Tune in next week…

Wait! The lesson?

Right. This week’s lesson: Don’t be a hermit in the middle of a zombie infested woods. Total strangers will show up, break into your house, kill you and throw you to the walker hordes.

True dat.

Alright folks, join us next week for the mid-season finale, where you’ll hear Dustin say:

What? Me? What am I supposed to be saying? Oh, wait, sorry. Um… “Gee, that Andrea sure is a smart cookie.”

You aren’t going to say that.

You put me on the spot? You get what you get.

Whatever. See you next week folks!

Curtis Smith ‏@Creepy_Curtis
An absolute bloodbath. @SciFi4Me @WalkingDead_AMC