Everything You Need to Know About TEEN WOLF

(Well, not EVERYTHING everything: just the stuff I can remember. There is a lot of stuff, you guys.)

Hi, gang. Dustin here ready to give you an in-depth look at what you need to know about Teen Wolf. Wait, You don’t know about Teen Wolf? Why? Have you been living under a rock? Did you lose your Tumblr password?

Teen Wolf is quite possibly the best horror/sci-fi series on television right now, and it’s lasted for 5 or 6 seasons or something like that. We’ll get into that. It’s a little confusing.

So, just to start us off, what is Teen Wolf about? Teen Wolf chronicles the adventures of young Scotty McCall, a beautiful, teenage himbo from Beacon Hills, California. Scotty and most of his friends are supernatural creatures and Beacon Hills is basically Portland, if Portland drew in supernatural creatures instead of hipsters with trust funds. There are a lot of supernatural creatures pinging around in Beacon Hills, is what I’m saying.

One night, while looking for a dead body with his best friend (as you do), Scotty stumbles upon a werewolf and is bitten. This gives Scotty a myriad of supernatural werewolf powers, not the least of which is to turn into the most hairless werewolf ever.

This is just the start of Scotty’s problems. So let’s go through season by season and give a little recap so you know where we are when we start the next season. Which is either season 7 or the second half of season 5 depending on how you look at things.

Season 1

This is the season that introduces us to young Scotty McCall and his best friend Styles. As I said earlier; one night while searching for a dead body (because that’s what all teenagers do) Scotty is bitten by a werewolf and starts to go through some… well… changes. The whole first season revolves around Scotty trying to figure out who bit him to turn him into a werewolf and whether or not it can be reversed. Turns out Peter Hale bit him.

Who is Peter Hale? Peter is from a family of werewolves and has been in a coma… or… sort of in a coma… or… pretending to be in a coma. You know it’s really not that important. What is important is that Peter Hale was burned in a fire started by the Argents, who are a family of monster hunters, the daughter of which, Allison, turns out to have all sorts of Romeo & Juliet feelings for Scotty. So, Peter was in a coma, or pretending to be in a coma while his nephew, Derek was living in the burned out shell of his former home like a hobo.Derek helps Scotty figure out his teenage hairless werewolf powers.

At the beginning of the season all of our characters seem pretty innocent and sweet and lovable, but as it goes on we learn all sorts of fun things about them: Scotty is a werewolf (obviously). Allison is a hunter (obviously). Styles, who is played by the wonderful Dylan O’Brien, basically steals the show starting in the first episode of the season and continues to do so in perpetuity forever and ever and ever amen.

We also have have side characters like Lydia and Jackson, who both think they’re in different shows on different networks. Jackson would probably have been happier on the CW (which is where he ultimately went) and Lydia thinks she’s on Pretty Little Liars. Jackson is obsessed with being powerful and when he finds out werewolves are a thing LITERALLY ALL HE WANTS is to become one, and Lydia kind of just stands there and looks fabulous… while constantly stumbling on the dead bodies of the beautiful residents of Beacon Hills.

At the end of the season, everyone comes together to defeat Peter Hale and cement Scotty’s place as Beacon Hills premiere hairless werewolf.

Season 2

This season brings Lydia to the forefront. The poor little button is having weird hallucinations and dreams and doesn’t necessarily know what they’re all about. This season also introduces us to the idea of the kanima or Kalamata or something which is the lizard monster. The kanima is what happens when a werewolf doesn’t turn correctly and is now the slave of a master. The master of this particular kanima is this kid who may have had an accident and almost drowned doing a thing…

You know what, you can almost skip this season. Not a lot of important stuff happens and it’s all either forgotten or ignored later.

Except for the fact that it is revealed that Lydia has a magical power and it brings back dead Peter Hale who was super-hot and didn’t need to die anyway. It all culminates in a fight where Scotty reaches into his inner hairless werewolfness and becomes an Alpha (leader) werewolf without having to kill the werewolf who made him. It’s basically like that episode of The Office where Pam just announced she was the Office Manager and through sheer will, she made it happen.

Did I mention that everyone on this show is ridiculously hot? And that most of the men keep their shirts off about 90% of the time? Because that’s also a thing that happens quite a lot. Like A LOT. a lot.

Anyway, by the end of season 2, Jackson is revealed to be the kanima and becomes a full werewolf right before shuffling off to London never to be heard from again. That’s another thing this show does. If an actor wants to leave, they either kill them off or send them to live in Europe. Its nuts.

Season 3 A & B

This is when things start to get a little confusing. See, the first part of Season 3 is 12 episodes and the second part of Season 3 is 12 episodes, which is the first time this actually has happened with Teen Wolf. Season 1 and Season 2 were only 12 episodes each. So now the season is 24 episodes, but the first 12 episodes are one story and the second 12 episodes are another story which kind of makes it into season 3 & 4 even though it’s all considered Season 3. They are usually called Season 3 A & B. Let’s start with Season 3A.

Season 3A involves a pack of alpha werewolves who come to Beacon Hills basically to kill Scotty because he’s a super magical alpha werewolf. So as these alpha werewolves are trying to either convert Scotty into their cause or kill him dead, they’re also basically killing off all the werewolves made in season 2 who I’m not even going to cover because they’re not that important and because they are all either dead by the end of season, or about the be shuffled off to “Europe”. Oh, and there’s this other creature who is burned and scarred call The Durach and she’s trying to do a thing to bring a tree back to life. It’s a little weird but it becomes super important later.

Season 3B has a lot of things happening. Not the least of which is that now Scotty’s mother Melissa knows that he’s a werewolf and Styles’ dad Sheriff Stilinski knows that he’s… involved(?) with werewolves. This knowledge basically solves a bunch of an unsolvable murders which have been happening in Beacon Hills over last couple of forevers. The fact that this show allows the parents to be involved in the teenagers’ lives instead of just having them bumble around the background makes it one of the most grounded series on television. The parents on the show are not considered second-class citizens. They’re vital parts of this world. Not only is Melissa McCall amazing, she’s the best mom on TV and I cannot say enough good things about her or the actress who plays her, Melissa Ponzio. So I won’t even get started here. If you want you can go read my The Walking Dead recaps where she appears for, like, 3 episodes and I praise her mercilessly.

 

Anyway, in the actual plot of Season 3B, Allison and Scott have decided to take a little breather from their Romeo and Juliet relationship. Which is all well and good because Allison kind of falls into the arms of adorable oaf Isaac, who is also a werewolf. What can I say? The girl has a type. Scotty kind of starts to fall for the beautiful and enigmatic Kira, who just moved to town. She’s sort of a lovable oaf. too, but it turns out she is also the embodiment of a creature called the kitsune, which is a Japanese fox spirit with lighting powers.

There’s also an evil spirit which gets it claws into Styles. So, like, he is evil now, which is awesome because Dylan O’Brien is probably one of the best actors on the show and most of everyone knows it. It was good to see the producers of the show actually took notice of his skills. Styles stays evil all season but in the end he’s rescued and becomes a good guy again, but not before he murders Allison, which is kind of a problem. (BTdubs, if you ever want to spend a hour feeling emotions, type ‘Allison Argent’ into tumblr and allow the tears to wash over you like a tsunami.)

Don’t ever let anyone tell you that being a supernatural teenager is going to be a walk through a field of daisies, because it is not.

Okay, so season 3 was split into two parts A&B. Which basically made it seasons 3 & 4. Season 4 was only 12 episodes long. Which is why it was called season 4. But since Season 3A was one complete story, and Season 3B was another, Season 4 is really Season 5.

Does that make any sense? Have I lost you?

I’m sorry. I’m getting off track.

Season 4 (5)

The season takes place in the aftermath of Allison’s death. Styles feels super bad about it even though everybody tells him it’s okay that he murdered her. Which, you know. Is a gray area. Isaac has wandered off to Europe, so he’s out of the way.

Also Aunt Kate is back.

Have I mentioned Aunt Kate?

She’s Allison’s crazy aunt who hated werewolves so much she set the Hale house on fire, killing everyone inside except for Peter, who went on to pretend to/actually be in a coma and jump started the whole series of events that led to this show being a thing in the first place. Remember Derek Hale? I haven’t mentioned him in a while. Which is strange, because he was a major player in the first 3 (or 4, depending on how you count) seasons.

(BTdubs again, if you want to feel emotions in your pants, type ‘Stereck’ into tumblr and let the fun feelings wash over you like a tsunami.)

So Aunt Kate comes back from the dead or was she really dead and does it really matter now? She’s a werepanther which is a thing this show does. She returns to Beacon Hills to wreak all sorts of havoc for Allison’s murder but she doesn’t really do a very good job of it.

Who does? The Benefactor, that’s who. Who is The Benefactor? Nobody knows. It’s a person who steals all of the Hale family money, which turns out to be millions of dollars even though Derek Hale has been living in a bombed-out houses and banks and trolley cars and lofts for the last several years. The Benefactor uses the money to contact all sorts of supernatural bounty hunters to come to Beacon Hills and kill all the supernatural creatures there. How does The Benefactor know who all the supernatural creatures are? Well, it turns out The Benefactor is a banshee (just liked Lydia, we find out) who has been in a mental institution for several years and somehow has the power to tell who is a supernatural creature. Also this season, Scotty gets his first beta wolf, which is a person he turns into a werewolf by biting them. This is adorable little kid whose name is Liam. And when I say adorable, mean he is basically created in a lab to be a hunk. And when I say little kid, I mean when he starts the show, the actor that plays him is 16 years old. It makes for a lot of conflicting emotions.

In the end, season 4 brings everyone back to status quo just in time for season 5.

Season 5

Season 5 is about senior year! When all of our characters are preparing to head off to college.

Have I mentioned Malia yet? I don’t think I have. Malia is Peter Hale’s daughter, who was adopted by another family but turns out to have been a werecoyote which is apparently a thing. Apparently you don’t actually have to be a werewolf even if you’re born from werewolf blood you can be were-anything depending on how your powers decide to manifest themselves. So, like you could be eating an egg sandwich when your powers manifest and suddenly you’re a weredingo even though you were originally bitten by a wereardvark. So, Malia has been living out in the woods as a werecoyote, as in like, the form of a coyote, since she was a little girl. They find her at the end of season 3? Somewhere in there. All of season 4 she is trying to adjust into human life. It is basically hilarious.

So by the time season 5 rolls around Malia is also a senior in high school even though she didn’t actually go to school at any time from the time she was like 6. But she’s going to graduate with everybody else. So what could possibly go wrong with senior year and Beacon Hills? Pretty much everything. Styles is freaking out because everyone’s going to be going away to college soon and he’s afraid they’re all going to lose touch. Lydia is trying to figure out her magical body finding powers and how they can be used for good? Scotty is kind of losing it because he feels like everybody is splintering off from his pack. Melissa McCall is doing her best to try and convince him that everything’s going to be okay but have you ever tried to talk to a senior in high school? They don’t believe anything will ever be okay ever again.

So these super creepy steampunk cosplay doctors show up and start causing all sorts of mayhem by doing experiments on people trying to make them into chimeras. Chimeras are hybrid supernatural creatures where the cosplay doctors piece together a new creature with the parts of different supernatural creatures basically stapled onto one of Beacon Hill’s beautiful teens. Over the course of 12 episodes, the cosplay doctors make, like, 23 chimeras, but not one of them survives. But not to worry dead supernatural teens! Theo is there to rescue you! Theo was the cosplay doctors’ first successful chimera, and after an entire season of manipulating Scotty and his pack, Theo goes out and collects the bodies of like, 7 dead chimera teens and brings them back to life using the power of a tree stump (don’t think too hard about it).

Oh, also in there somewhere is the beautiful sexy Deputy Parish, who along with being a sheriff’s deputy and sexier than everything in the world is a sexy sex monster and also a hellhound. Who has kind of thing for Lydia? Which makes sense because while she is a Banshee, she finds the supernatural dead bodies and Deputy Parish as a hellhound collects supernatural dead bodies.

You know, writing all this down makes Teen Wolf sound really contrived and strange, but I swear to you it’s an amazing show and you really should be watching it. Mainly so you’ll understand my recaps.