BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Wedding, Texas Style!

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Episode 308: “Shotgun Wedding”

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[photos: Ben Mark Holzberg/CW]

Episode 308 of Beauty and the Beast finally gets us to where we all think we want these characters to be, but alas, no happy ending. Will these characters ever get a freaking happy ending? Is it too much to ask, to keep hoping that one of these episodes, one of these seasons, happiness will happen? This episode was stronger than the last one by a mile, but man, what a let down for Cat and Vincent. And for us.

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Decent:

  • Oh, that cavalier way in which Heather tells the pastor that Cat’s father isn’t able to walk her down the aisle because he’s in prison…too funny. Given how frequently I’ve laughed at Nicole Gale Anderson over the last several episodes, I’ve realized what a great comedic actress she is. I’d like to see her get her own show at some point.
  • Lots and lots of Catherine nose wrinkles this episode.  Probably the cutest facial expression that Kristin Kreuk has, and she has a fair few.
  • Juliana uses her IV needle to unlock her cuffs. I was so impressed, and I totally want to try this! Now, where to get an IV needle and some cuffs without arousing suspicion…
  • When Heather tries to act totally normal talking to Vincent over the phone during spa day.  Aside from the fact that you should not be answering the phone during a massage (more below), another comedic gem from Ms. Nicole.  I’m telling you, this girl is under-appreciated.
  • J.T. tranqs Juliana mid-whine.  Juliana’s whine, not J.T.’s. Good grief, how satisfying was that? If only I could use that technique with certain co-workers.
  • Cat gets in the limo, and there are flowers addressed to Mrs. Keller, from Mr. Keller. I would think that it was sickly sweet, if I didn’t secretly wish my own hubs would do the same thing!
  • Cat asks Tess if she’s sure there’s nothing to worry about? And in true Tess fashion, she tells the truth: “No, I’m not.” Every single woman out there needs a bestie who’ll be real with you.
  • How about that amazing catfight in the limo! Juliana and Cat throw down, and it was sheer guilty pleasure. What is it about a catfight that’s so gratifying? In any case, thank you, CW!
  • Vincent’s passionate plea to Cat: “For ten years I was in the shadows, lost. You saved me, you loved me, here we finally are. Please no more sacrifices. We deserve this, don’t we?” Yes, Vincent, you totally, totally do.
  • I am such a sucker for a man in a classic tux with white rose boutonniere.  What a classy, classy way to suit up Mr. Keller for his nuptials. Not that men ever really get to pick what they wear during their ceremonies, but would that all men could dress so elegantly.
  • Juliana’s arm, body, and life part ways. This show has lots of fighting, but this was a new level of violence we don’t typically see. And I’m not saying that I am encouraging the show to regularly display a bit of the old ultra-violence, but I think they did a good job of making the case that Liam is an over-the-top bad dude.
  • A single, long-stemmed red rose, gently surrounded and upheld by dozens of red gummy bears. Not only was this a super-sweet gesture, it cleverly plays on the long-running gummy worms joke. Nice touch.
  • Vincent confronts Catherine on the rooftop of their place post-wedding debacle. Cat has a very measured and reasonable reaction, particularly when you consider that in the previous episode she got all cray-cray on Juliana when things didn’t quite work out. Okay, okay, not quite the same, but still.  Cat was reasonable, cut Vincent some slack, and quite astutely said they should wait a while before trying again. It makes total sense. But why don’t these people just pop into the JoP when it’s time?

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Less Decent:

  • Heather’s inability to take a break from her cell phone.  You do not leave your cell phone on during a massage, people!
  • I had mixed feelings about Cat’s vintage style wedding dress; I got what they were going for…they’re trying not to over-sexualize her, because that’s just not her character’s style. But with her petite frame, the dress made her look a touch dowdy. And then, her wedding hair style was straight up school marm. With so many cute or elegant options for up-dos these days, I cannot for the life of me understand why the showrunners decided to go the poofy bun direction. Yikes.
  • The “everyone decides to deceive someone, and the someone gets mad, then everyone is contrite and apologetic, and the someone is understanding” plot device has become a crutch. I would be so grateful if the writers were to find a new way to inject drama into the series.
  • While I loved that Juliana used an IV needle to unlock her cuffs, it just otherwise seemed highly improbable she’d be able to escape a jail ward.  They use guards, right?
  • And speaking of Juliana, if she’s not super-human, how’d she bust out the window of the evidence room and escape from Tess and Vincent so quickly?
  • The day AFTER Juliana escapes, Cat receives a precinct-wide alert about the escape. Now, I don’t actually know what police procedure is around jail breaks, but it sure seems to me that time would be of the essence and that waiting 12-24 hours is not in the best interest of the public.
  • While I’m glad the show addressed it with a side comment from Cat about the swelling to her face, I thought Cat’s pristine makeup job after the limo fight was unrealistic. I’ve taken blows to the face, and the amount of swelling that follows is just not coverable. A better way to have handled it would be for Cat to have had less blood on her face post-fight.
  • The chief chewed out Tess for Juliana’s death in full view rest of precinct, which means he broke the cardinal rule of leadership: you praise publicly, and criticize privately. If Tess is to remain captain, she needs her detectives to respect her. A public tongue-lashing will at best embarrass her detectives for her, and at worst, undermine their willingness to follow her lead.

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Per our normal MO, please leave questions, concern, debates, corrections, etc. in the comments, and let us know what you think! See you guys on Thursday with Episode 309 “Cat’s out of the Bag”: After Liam ruins Cat and Vincent’s wedding day, everyone must band together to remind Cat of her greater purpose.

[Official Site for the Show] [Previous article on Beauty and the Beast]

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